“If we just boil it down, it costs something to believe the voice of the victim because it means my system’s messed up and there’s something we have to do that is going to be, in the moment, very destructive,” Slattery continued. “And I have to let go of somebody I held in high esteem, and it’s so disruptive.”
Richter added, “When you’ve been victimized, I don’t know if there’s anything more painful than having the people you love and need stay neutral. It protects them, but it throws you under the bus all over again.”
The group later discussed the so-called “Billy Graham Rule,” in which men do not allow themselves to be alone in a room with any woman other than their wives. While this practice has been something of a gold standard in evangelical spaces for some time, Krieg said that she is “completely baffled” by it, particularly as “a woman who experiences same-sex attraction.”
“It’s painful when men look at me with suspicion, and then I share my story and now women look at me with suspicion,” she said. “Can we work on maintaining our lusts, please? Can we work on them driving us toward Jesus?”
“We live in a culture where everything is sexualized,” said Slattery. “We don’t know how to be brothers and sisters…There’s a lot of work in the church to do of what does it mean to be a brother or sister, and what does it mean that every desire doesn’t have to be a destiny?”
“Rules have to be there when we don’t have maturity and wisdom and discernment,” she added. “But God’s desire for us as his children is that we have those things.”
Understanding the Bible Better Through Curious Conversations
While the work of creating spaces for curious conversations can be messy and often draws criticism, Sprinkle said that he has “piles of stories of people who were on an unhealthy path towards deconstruction either toward a more progressive version of Christianity, which oftentimes leads to no Christianity all, or they were just deconstructing from their faith” who “came back to a really solid orthodox position” in part because of the “Theology in the Raw” podcast.
“Honestly, I just want to teach the Bible and help people understand the Bible, because I think there’s life in the Word of God,” Sprinkle said. “Everything I do is really to help people have a better understanding of the Bible as a Word of God.”
“So even curious conversations with people about cultural stuff,” he added, “all this is somehow connected to the biblical worldview lens, so that’s always going to be my ultimate goal.”
The next Exiles in Babylon conference will be held in Denver on Oct. 4-5.
