Once two people are married, said Jeremy, “the standard of beauty then becomes your spouse.” That gets people out of the “rat race” of striving to keep a spouse’s attention. The Vuolos explained that physical attraction is a “gift,” but it is “not everything.”
It is good for people to take care of themselves physically, but there will be seasons of life where doing so is difficult. For example, Jinger said that Jeremy was supportive of her and encouraging when she didn’t feel attractive after pregnancy. He in turn pointed out that her concern about her appearance wasn’t driven by insecurity.
Moreover, said Jeremy, as time goes by, “the scars of life become marks of beauty.” They agreed that his grandparents, who were married for over 70 years, were a beautiful example of long-lasting love.
So while purity culture had a good desire for purity and commitment, the Vuolos concluded that, as Jinger said, it was “wrong” in its methods and “lost the heart” of what it was intending to accomplish.
