Leaders could address these people during the meeting or perhaps might speak to them afterward. How leaders handle each situation depends on a number of factors, but, Pete Scazzero said, “There’s lots of follow-up that needs to happen outside the staff meeting. Always is.”
“We never shame people,” he emphasized. “If you think you might be shaming them in public, don’t.”
“The reason follow-up is so important is because you’re forming and shaping a culture,” said Scazzero, and even if that culture is a small group of leaders, those leaders “are shaping a bigger culture. It could be hundreds or thousands of people. But that little meeting, that staff meeting that you’re leading, has a huge ripple effect.”
One conflict-avoidant leader on a team means “that’s going through the whole culture, and so I’ve got to get some time with him to work on this.”
“And I did,” said Scazzero, listing concepts from the Emotionally Healthy Relationship course, such as clean fighting, stopping mind-reading, and clarifying expectations, that he addressed with one particular person. Creating culture in the church by following up with his staff was one of the key circumstances that led Scazzero to realize how important church staff meetings were.
He shared as well that he learned to spend time “working on people’s job description, making sure it’s current and up-to-date, something I didn’t do pre-emotionally healthy discipleship. I’m checking up on their rule of life, their being, and they’re doing.” He requires people to do genograms, which help them understand their family backgrounds, and he also helps staff master relationship skills.
As Scazzero concluded, he acknowledged that his advice might seem like a lot to take in. ”It is big,” he said. “But you’re creating a counterculture. You’re creating something radical that’s loving, that’s healthy on a leadership level, that people will want to be on your team. They’re going to want to be in meetings you’re leading.”
The reason why is “because they’re going to grow and blossom if they’re part of that team,” he explained. “That’s what you want, and it can be a great joy to lead in this way for you and for people that join that team.”
