When it comes to living out her womanhood in her day-to-day life, Jackie said, “When I obey Scripture, the application of that is still going to come through a female body.”
“And so even if I wasn’t nurtured [in the past], if a fruit of the Spirit is gentleness, that gentleness is going to come through a female body, right?” she pointed out. “And so even just walking by the Spirit is going to develop me as a woman in a particular way.”
Another key aspect of living out biblical womanhood is discipleship, Jackie said. She has learned a lot about being a Christian woman from the godly women around her and even said she has friends who have “taken my femininity up a notch.”
She currently wears make-up, including lip gloss and blush, whereas in the past all she did was put Vaseline on her lips. “I think the Lord has also given me people to help me embrace parts of me that I just haven’t—not because I didn’t want to—it’s just, I just wouldn’t think about it,” she said.
When Jackie was still identifying as gay, at one point she embraced being a “stud,” which involved dressing in a particular way. Both she and Preston agreed that since she left that way of living, some people have been waiting for her to fall back into it again. This mentality leads them to scrutinize how she dresses.
“When it comes to saying that I came out of lesbianism, and not just lesbianism, but saying that I used to be a stud and used to dress a certain kind of way and show up a certain kind of way, and then becoming a Christian,” said Jackie, “I think it can be commonplace for people then to have a very critical eye towards you to check and see if what you say about yourself is authentic.”
“I think it can be interesting for people to see me wear Dickies or see me wear fitted caps,” she said, noting that “when we got away from skinny jeans and went into wide legs, I changed my style.”
“I like fashion,” Jackie said. “I like to dress a certain kind of way. And I feel more of a freedom in myself to show up in certain garb, I guess.”
“And I feel that freedom from you,” she told her husband. “You always affirmed how I dress. You always liked it.”
“If there was more pushback from you, from our pastors, from our leaders,” Jackie said, “then I would actually take a pause and be like, ‘Okay, let me consider what the Lord is saying,’ but because it’s these sources that don’t even know me and don’t seem to even love me, then it’s like, whatever.”
“I want people to know that people will criticize you,” said Jackie. “People will talk about you, people will use your story against you, but be faithful anyway.” To do otherwise, to change oneself to please others, is idolatry.
“I want to keep wearing my Dickies,” she said.
“Keep wearing them, because you fine,” Preston told her.
Jackie said how she dresses herself goes beyond style, suggesting that her style reflects her God-given personality. “It’s the affect, it’s the demeanor, right?” she said. “I’m not hyper-feminine.”
