Is Forgiving Adultery Possible?

Address Bitterness Early

While emotions like anger are expected initially, they must eventually be addressed.

“Bitterness is a poisonous root that will cause all kinds of ‘trouble’ (Heb. 12:15)”

Emphasize Heart Change Over Quick Fixes

Help develop forgiving hearts slowly, over time, and in the right ways.

Important Distinctions to Remember

Forgiveness ≠ Reconciliation

• A betrayed spouse may be ready to forgive
• But unless the betrayer repents, there can be no reconciliation (Luke 17:3)
• Forgiveness can happen even if the marriage doesn’t survive

Forgiveness ≠ Automatic Trust

• Forgiveness doesn’t mean no consequences for misconduct
• A pastor guilty of misconduct can be forgiven but may lose the right to spiritual authority
• Trust has to be earned back over time 

  RELATED: 3 Steps to Overcoming Betrayal and Building Trust Again

Forgiveness ≠ Restoration

• Forgiven people aren’t automatically restored to exactly where they were
• Time is needed to rebuild trust
• The forgiver shouldn’t resent if trust doesn’t return immediately

The Ultimate Goal

Forgiving adultery is essential for healing—not just for the marriage, but for the betrayed spouse themselves.

Even in our fallen world where not all marriages survive, the victim of betrayal can find peace and progress through developing a forgiving heart.

Key Takeaway

Good forgiveness takes time, truth, and heart change. It’s neither a quick band-aid nor something to avoid indefinitely. The goal is genuine heart forgiveness that brings healing, whether or not the marriage is restored.