52 Things to Text Your Wife (Hint: That’s One Per Week)

52 Things to Text Your Wife (Hint: That’s One Per Week)

Whether we nurture or neglect our marriages will be determined by how we steward “small moments.” Too often men fall into the trap of trying to hit a home run on Valentine’s Day, birthday, anniversary and Christmas because they’ve been distracted for the rest of the year.

Side Note: If you do a good job of nurturing your marriage, two things will happen with those four days listed in the previous paragraph: (1) what you do for your wife will be more meaningful because you’ll know her better and (2) whether you hit a home run will be less important because you’re not making up for anything.

In this post I want to offer one way to nurture your marriage. Send your wife regular texts with endearing messages. When our wives gets a text from us, they should be excited because they anticipate an affirmation or encouragement; not stressed because they expects something to be added to their to-do list or a change to the family schedule.

Consider the list below a brainstorming exercise. Just come back to this post when you get “writer’s block” and need some fresh ideas.

  1. I love you!
  2. I enjoy being married to you.
  3. Thank you for all the things I never have to think about.
  4. What can I do for you tonight?
  5. I look forward to a quiet evening at home with you.
  6. You captivate my imagination all day long.
  7. Tonight let’s talk about [a subject you know she enjoys].
  8. Let me do [blank] so you can get some extra sleep tomorrow.
  9. [link] here is something I thought you would find funny.
  10. I love you!
  11. Thinking about you is a nice break from the rest of my day.
  12. Ask me about [blank] tonight [event that will prompt a quality conversation].
  13. Why don’t you call [friend] and you guys get dinner? I’ll take care of the kids.
  14. I liked it when you smiled at me this morning.
  15. The more I know you the more beautiful you become.
  16. You are the best wife ever.
  17. I noticed [fruit of the spirit] in you when [action by your wife].
  18. Even on a difficult day, I am glad I get to come home to you.
  19. You’ve always got at least one person who is always on your team—me!
  20. I love you!
  21. [flirty emoji]
  22. You did a great job [task she did well].
  23. [GIF to make her laugh]
  24. I read [article] today about [topic that interests her] and want to talk about it tonight.
  25. I prayed for you today [better if you can connect it with something she’s shared with you recently].
  26. I’m glad our boys have you as the example for the kind of wife they’re looking for.
  27. Your smile will always be my favorite.
  28. How did [event from her day] go? [Shows that you know her schedule and care]
  29. If I could marry you again, I would do it every time I got the chance.
  30. I love you!
  31. Did you know it was [##] days until our anniversary? I couldn’t have known how good that day was going to be for me; thank you!
  32. I’m looking forward to a quiet evening at home with you.
  33. I heard [a song she likes] and thought of you. Moments when you come to mind are the best.
  34. I like writing our love story with you.
  35. You looked amazing this morning.
  36. [meme with one of her favorite movie lines]
  37. I read [Bible passage] and was reminded of how well you exemplify [a particular virtue].
  38. I know today is hard for you because [painful anniversary] and want you to know I’m praying for you.
  39. I look forward to the future because you’re in it.
  40. I love you!
  41. [pick a verse from Proverbs 31 and quote it with #Proverbs31Deluxe]
  42. You make our home a place of rest and refuge. Thank you!
  43. You are my happy place.
  44. An “ordinary day” with you is wonderful.
  45. I’m striving to be the Christ-like husband for you that we want for our daughters.
  46. Thank you for believing in me and supporting me.
  47. “A good day” = a day with you.
  48. You’ve seen me at my best and my worst, and you love me anyway. Wow! What a blessing!
  49. I’m looking forward to our date this weekend. I love time with you!
  50. I love you!
  51. I’m a better, more Christ-like man because you’re my wife. Thank you for the ways God uses you to shape me.
  52. I look forward to growing old with you (even if it’s not as far off as it used to be).

Follow Up Examination: Get out your phone. Review your texts with your wife for the last three months. If these interactions are indicative of the functional vs. romantic interactions with your wife, what would that reveal about the health of your marriage? The reality is we are not going to reduce the amount of functional conversation life requires; we can only increase the amount of affirming-flirty-invested communication we have.

Your cell phone text history can be a place where you (a) get a tangible read on how invested you’ve been and (b) where you can be more intentional moving forward.

Another Reflection: Imagine for a moment that your wife’s confidence and identity were built only based upon those things that she heard from you. How healthy and balanced would her self-image be?

If this is an area you want to grow, I would invite you to attend one or more of the upcoming Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage seminars. Dates, times, location and RSVP are provided at this link.

If this post was beneficial for you, then considering reading other blogs from my “Favorite Posts on Marriage” post, which address other facets of this subject.

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Brad Hambrick
Brad serves as the Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church in  Durham, NC. He also serves as Instructor of Biblical Counseling at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, a council member of the Biblical Counseling Coalition, and has authored several books including Do Ask, Do Tell, Let’s Talk: Why and How Christians Should Have Gay Friends and God’s Attributes: Rest for Life’s Struggles.