7 Simple Ways to Wow First-Time Church Visitors

December 19, 2017

Anticipation? Expectation? A little bit of nausea? A combination of the three? First-time church visitors can experience a wide variety of feelings and emotions as they enter the unknown abyss.

Will they know anyone? Will the things they’ve heard about your church prove true, or will they be surprised by something different?

As church leaders, it is paramount that we develop healthy, organic responses to first-time church visitors within our church family.

Here’s a brilliant thought…

Your church cannot possibly grow unless it has first-time visitors that come back.

So how will you handle them? Will it be an obligation or a delight? Will it be accidental or intentional?

Encouraging First-Time Church Visitors to Return

In your quest for church growth, here are seven simple but attainable ways to make sure those first-time church visitors don’t become one-time church visitors.

1. Remember their names.

I’ll admit it, I stink at this. I will literally ask a visitor for their name, and by the end of the conversation I will have forgotten.

Unless, of course, I’m intentional with my memory. If I walk into the introduction with the goal of remembering their name, it’s much more likely to happen.

Do whatever it takes. Write it down, tap it into your smartphone notes, record a voice memo, etc. If you greeted that guest on their way in, and you say goodbye to them by name on the way out, it speaks volumes. It says, “You’re not a number, you’re a life, and you matter to us.”

2. Give attention to the workflow.

This is such a key point. We’ve got to think through the visitor workflow in our churches. Are we saving our best parking spots for them? What questions will they have upon arrival? What are their needs? How will we interact with them?

Take the time to think it through, plan it and empower your church to live it out.

Determine where the potential snags are in your visitor workflow. Where could they potentially get “stuck”? Then, plan on ironing out those friction points to maintain a smooth journey.

Why I Don’t Like Church Christmas Programs

Christina Embree

December 19, 2017

Is there anything cuter than kids in a Christmas play? I mean seriously, don’t we just love seeing the kids sharing their songs, saying their lines, quoting their Bible verses and wearing all the Christmasy things? And, of course, there’s always that “one” kid who unwittingly steals the show with their over-enthusiastic lines or their under-enthusiastic singing. Or the one who is just a little bit off on the motions or the one who is pretending to conduct in the back row. I mean, who doesn’t like seeing kids perform in church?

Me.

What?!? I’m a children’s pastor. Isn’t that against the rules?

You guys, bear with me but, yeah, I usually don’t like them very much at all. I love that the kids talk about Jesus. I do think that they are beyond adorable and I want to hug every single one. But what I don’t like are the many implications that often come with it; things that go unsaid, but speak volumes to children and adults about the place of children in “big church.”

Four Reasons I Don’t Like Christmas Programs

They define the role of Children in Worship – They are performers. They are cute. Everyone likes to “see” them. Everyone wants them on stage. But children are much more than that. They are active, vital, necessary members of the body of Christ. If they are only invited into worship to “perform,” guess what worship/church becomes for them? A performance. And when they get tired of performing or they aren’t cute anymore, they move on to bigger and better things.
They define the role of the Children’s Pastor – Many or most who work in Children’s ministry rarely spend much time in “big church.” The role is unseen; serving downstairs or upstairs making sure children are loved, rooms are covered, volunteers are appreciated, parents are affirmed, janitors are appeased, visitors are welcomed and families are encouraged. But the only time a children’s minister is seen in church is when he/she bring the children up to put on a show. It creates a very limited view of who children’s ministers are.
They define the role of the Congregation – When the children perform, all the feelings are there! The kids are sweet and cute and the church loves to see them in church. But it is a passive reception; the kids give, the church receives. There are no active, ongoing relationships. Many don’t even know the children’s names. They are the “girl in the red dress that sang so loud” and the “boy in the tie who sat on the steps.” It creates an environment of “us” and “them” and when the performance is over, everyone returns to their posts.
They define who is and who is not “the church” – This is the same reason I despise the term “big church.” There isn’t a big church and little church in God’s kingdom. There’s just church. We, all of us, old, young and in-between, are all members of God’s body, part of the church, His Bride. We affirm this at baptism or dedication. The whole congregations commits to being one body. And then, we go our separate ways, big and little, for the year, until it’s time to perform again.

How to Deal With Darkness at Christmas

Bob Kauflin

December 19, 2017

It seems each Christmas I hear more people talk about how difficult this time can be for those who are suffering, depressed or struggling with loss. Posts like When Darkness Falls at Christmas, What Grieving People Wish You Knew at Christmas, and The Problem With Our Holly Jolly Christmas Songs remind us that in spite of the parties, sentimental commercials, holiday greetings and family reunions, all is not “calm and bright.” For many of us, Christmas is troubled and dark.

My daughter Brittany Hope has had a tender heart for those kinds of people for years. A wife whose husband’s life was snuffed out too early. A young couple burying their stillborn child. Parents carrying the weight of an adult child no longer walking with God. Singles longing for a family of their own.

Brittany’s love for the Savior and those he came to redeem overflows in songs, lyrics, quotes and poems that she frequently posts on Facebook and Instagram. In line with her middle name, she consistently points others to a God who not only knows the depths of our sufferings and loss, but comforts us in the midst of them through the gospel.

Recently she asked me and her sister, McKenzie, if we’d record one of her songs on video. She wanted to share it with friends whose Christmas is characterized more by sadness than celebration. People for whom the Christmastime seems to be more about darkness than deliverance. So Tuesday night we did a quick video and Brittany posted it on Facebook with the introduction: “A song for those in darkness this Christmas season.”

It’s been 2 1/2 days and her “few friends” have turned into over 100,000 as the video has been shared more than 1,800 times. She’s received emails from people she’s never met saying how God used her song to encourage them. One pastor emailed saying this past week a family in his church lost an infant while another family’s 20-year-old daughter died in a car accident. He stumbled across the song on Facebook and said numerous people in his church had been comforted through it. Others let us know this would be the first (or second, or third, or tenth) Christmas without a parent, spouse, child or friend. The pain was still fresh, raw and profound, and the fight for joy still difficult. They said God used the song not only to allow them to grieve, but to give them hope in the midst of their sadness.

And that’s what Christmas does. It reminds us that we are not yet in the time of uninterrupted joy. Our celebrations are always tainted by the reality that although the Savior has come, everything isn’t yet right. Sorrow is real. Death has not disappeared.

So in the midst of the joy, and perhaps because of it, Christmas is an ideal time to address our pain, sadness, loss and darkness. For as Isaiah said:

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.” (Isaiah 9:2 , ESV)

If we had no darkness to deal with, there would be no need for a great light to come. Our darkness is deep, but the salvation and love revealed in Jesus Christ go deeper.

God promises, “Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!” (Psalm 126:5 , ESV) It may be next month, next year or in the next life. But Jesus Christ, who took our sins upon himself and endured God’s wrath in our place, has made sure that one day every tear will be wiped away.

Christmas assures us that day is coming.

Click below to download the music.

CHORD CHART
VOCAL/PIANO SCORE
LYRICS

UPDATE: This song is now available on Brittany’s album, Glory in the Darkest Place.

This article originally appeared here.

Why Discipleship Works With a Plurality of Elders

Dr. Josh Buice

December 19, 2017

In Acts 6:2, Jesus’ inner circles was known as “the twelve.” They were serving as the pastors for the early church as it was growing rapidly. However, when a problem arose among the church, servants were established to wait on the tables in order to free up these men to give their full attention to the Word of God and prayer.

The pattern of ministry all throughout the New Testament is clearly established upon a plurality of elders leading and a plurality of deacons serving. Although this is not a blemish-free ministry pattern, it does provide for the most healthy scenario for discipleship in the local church.

Deacons, Elders and Discipleship

When pastors are free to give themselves to the Word of God, the church will benefit drastically. The pastors who put more priority on pragmatics and less priority upon the study of God’s Word cannot expect their church to rise above their leaders. Interestingly enough, in Acts 6, the early church became united through the deacon ministry and this allowed the pastors to immerse themselves in God’s Word. As the Word of God increased, souls were saved in the community. Consider this pattern over against today’s church growth pragmatism that typically downplays doctrine.

Behind every great group of pastors is a great group of deacons. When deacons serve to the glory of God in the local church, the pastors can spend necessary time in prayer for their people. A church that places little emphasis upon prayer is often a direct reflection of their leaders. Such a church marches on in the power of pragmatism rather than the power of the Holy Spirit. No matter how much technology increases and how efficient we become with modern ministry tools—nothing can stand in the place of the power of prayer. Pastors who pray well often lead well. Pastors who spend time praying for disciples and teaching new disciples how to pray will go forward in the power of God. Prayer is essential.

Discipleship as an Intentional Goal of Ministry

Beyond the need for pastors to work in tandem with deacons for the work of discipleship, pastors must likewise plan and work with intentionality to disciple the church. It is the goal and responsibility of pastors to equip the church for the work of ministry (Eph. 4:12). Pastors are not entertainers or leaders of ministry events—pastors are shepherds who oversee and equip believers to live the Christian life faithfully.

One single pastor who tries with all of his heart and soul to equip the entire church on his own will fail. If the church is larger than a small group, help is required to faithfully shepherd and equip the saints. This is why God designed the church to be led by a plurality of elders who would share the burden and responsibility, and work together in the effort of equipping the church to stand strong, love passionately and reach their community with the gospel. Intentionality in the area of teaching, conversations and being an intentional example to the church is vitally important (1 Pet. 5:3).

What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Been Hurt by the Church

Jonathan Hollingsworth

December 19, 2017

Whenever you meet someone who’s experienced spiritual abuse in the church, tread carefully. Here’s what not to say.

A few years ago, I had my first experience with spiritual abuse.

Spiritual Abuse in the Church

Compelled to serve God in a radical way, I dropped out of college, gave away all my possessions and moved to Africa, only to be manipulated, controlled and taken advantage of by the leaders in the mission organization.

When I got home, my pastor gave me two options: I could either lie and make up a nicer-sounding story, or I could just keep my mouth shut. Either way, I was forbidden from telling the real story, inside or outside the church.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It’s one thing to be abused by people you barely know, but it’s another thing to be betrayed by someone you trusted and looked up to. I was angry and depressed, and I fell away from church for the first time in my life.

Thankfully, some of my friends understood what I was going through. Others, not so much. But what I’ve come to realize is that Christians can be pretty bad at handling spiritual abuse.

Many of the responses below I’ve witnessed firsthand. In the past, I’ve even been guilty of saying a few of these myself.

Here are a few things not to say to someone who has been hurt by their church:

1. “No Church Is Perfect.”

Instead of empathizing with those who have been hurt by a church, some Christians go right into defense mode. They might argue that the victim just had a “bad experience.” Or they’ll say the church is full of imperfect people who are “only human” and make mistakes just like the rest of us.

But can we agree that these excuses only distract from the problem? No one wants to be told to “focus on all the good things the church does” when they’ve been hurt by one. It doesn’t matter how many thousands of people have been positively affected by a church or ministry. The good experiences don’t cancel out the bad ones.

2. “Are You Working Toward Reconciliation?”

The last thing a victim of spiritual abuse in the church needs to do is go right back into the environment that hurt them in the first place.

R.C. Sproul: Defender of the Evangelical Faith

Bob Ditmer

December 19, 2017

On December 14, 2017, we lost a true expositor and defender of the evangelical faith when R.C. Sproul died at the age of 78.

Tributes to the pastor, author, apologist, theologian and founder of Ligonier Ministries poured in from around the world sharing stories of Sproul’s influence, kindness and devotion to Jesus Christ.

Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, wrote,

“R.C.’s voice was captivating. Honestly, I probably would have listened to him read the Farmer’s Almanac. But the power of his teaching was the vitality and virility of biblical Christianity, presented logically, forcefully, biblically and passionately.

My own pilgrimage as a theologian cannot be traced without the indelible influence of R.C. Sproul. Had I never met him in the flesh, I would have been in his debt and gifted with his influence. By God’s grace, I came to know R.C. Sproul as a teacher, colleague, encourager and friend.”

Dr. Augustus Nicodemus Lopes, senior pastor of the Presbyterian Church of Goiânia, Brazil, and vice president of the Presbyterian Church of Brazil, said of Sproul, “Dr. Sproul impressed me with his clarity of thought, his power of synthesis, his ability to logically command complex themes, the simplicity of his language, and especially his commitment to the authority and infallibility of the Scriptures. I began to recommend his books to my students and to members of my church. At that time, more and more of his books were being translated into Portuguese, influencing generations of Brazilian pastors and their churches.”

John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California, told the story of Sproul at a private meeting over the “Evangelicals and Catholics Together” (ECT) controversy from the late 1990s. Also in the meeting were D. James Kennedy, John Ankerburg, Chuck Colson, J.I. Packer and Bill Bright. Sproul was concerned with the ecumenical drift of the ECT document. “R.C. pointed out that the document’s discussion of justification by faith omitted the all-important word alone (the sola in sola fide). This was and always has been the central point of disagreement between Roman Catholics and Protestants, he said. By deliberately omitting that word and acting as if it were a non-issue, Protestants who helped draft the ECT document were deliberately capitulating to the main Roman Catholic error and undermining the gospel itself. At one point he became so passionate in making his argument that he literally climbed on the table, making the plea on his hands and knees from the tabletop until each person on the other side of the table had made direct eye contact with him. There wasn’t a hint of malice in the gesture, and everyone in the room understood that. The passion that motivated R.C. was his love of the gospel and his zeal for making sure that the message is proclaimed without compromise or confusion.”

Pastor John Piper wrote, “The impact of R.C. Sproul on my life and ministry is owing to an incomparable combination of his unashamed allegiance to the absolute sovereignty and centrality of God, his total devotion to the inerrancy and radical relevance of the Christian Scriptures, his serious and rigorous attention to the actual text of Scripture in shaping his views, and his jolting formulations of biblical truth in relation to contemporary reality.”

Undoubtedly, many other Christian leaders and lay people alike can say that Sproul had a great impact on their life, whether through his preaching, his theology, his books or his friendship.

Many of the tributes came by way of Twitter:

“Compared to R.C. Sproul, all of us are at the kids’ pulpit.” – Pastor and author Jared C. Wilson

Early in my ministry I was discouraged, about to quit ministry. I went to a @Ligonier conf in Memphis, heard R.C. Sproul and @JohnPiper preach on God and providence. God used that to keep me in ministry. Changed my life.

— Russell Moore (@drmoore) December 14, 2017

Of the many quotes attributed to Sproul, this one certainly sums up his life: “We do not segment our lives, giving some time to God, some to our business or schooling, while keeping parts to ourselves. The idea is to live all of our lives in the presence of God, under the authority of God, and for the honor and glory of God. That is what the Christian life is all about.”

Why Pastors Never Have Enough Time

Church Fuel

December 18, 2017

There’s a short prayer in the Old Testament, written by Moses and recorded in the book of Psalms. Here’s what Moses writes:

“Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12

Psalm 90 is a Psalm of Lament, meaning it’s a prayerful response to a tragedy. In this prayer, Moses comes face to face with his own mortality. And he reminds us we’ve all got a limited number of days on earth.

It’s so easy for us to spend time as if it’s unlimited. We move from week to week and month to month as if we can turn the pages on the calendar forever. This prayer from Moses reminds us of something we know deep down: We have a limited time to do ministry.

We tend to think of stewardship as a money issue, but the principle also applies to time. We must be good stewards of our God-given time. It’s a limited resource.

The point of Moses’ prayer was not to depress everyone about the brevity of life. Numbering our days is a sobering exercise, but that’s not the full verse. The second part of the prayer contains the point… ”so that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

The point of numbering your days is not to be depressed about how few are left, but to help you manage the remaining ones wisely, with eternity in mind.

So why is it that many pastors never seem to find enough time to do what God has called them to do? Why do too many pastors teeter toward burnout?

#1 – We Don’t Identify the Difference Between Urgent and Important.

Dwight Eisenhower lived during a busy time in American history. In addition to being a five-star General, commanding troops at Normandy, serving as the President of Columbia University and eventually the President of the United States, he found time to play golf and create oil paintings.

Eisenhower famously said, “What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.”

Leadership expert and author Stephen Covey popularized Eisenhower’s decision principle in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In this book, Covey turned Eisenhower’s quote into a four-box matrix to help people decide between what’s important and what’s not important and what’s urgent and not urgent.

This is a great matrix for looking at all of your tasks and responsibilities. As a pastor, it might seem like everything is important and urgent. But with careful and prayerful consideration (and some outside advice), you can assign each of your tasks to a specific box. This clarity should help you plan your week and align your schedule around your goals and values.

Box #1: Urgent and Important. (Do this stuff.) These are tasks that you will do immediately. They matter to your long-term success and they need your immediate attention.
Box #2: Important, but not urgent. (Schedule this stuff) These things must be done, but time is not of the essence. But don’t make the mistakes—the tasks here are often the most critical to your health and growth. Things that fit your long-term mission and vision. You don’t feel pressure to get to them today, but they will set the pattern of days to come.
Box #3: Urgent, but not important. (Delegate this stuff.) Most people spend most of their day in this box, even though most of these things could be delegated to someone else. Many times, tasks feel important but in reality they are just urgent. If you spend too much time in this box, you’ll rush around from task to task and project to project without ever making real progress. You’ll busy your schedule up in the name of doing good. You’ll neglect the Sabbath, and you’ll hurt your success.
Box #4: Neither urgent nor important. (Eliminate this stuff.)These are tasks you must identify and eliminate. “Do I really need to do this,” is a powerful question every pastor should ask. Many times, you’ll find the answer to be “no.”

#2 – There Are Too Many Ministries Requiring Leadership and Attention.

There is a second reason you might constantly feel like you don’t have enough time.

It might be that you have too many ministries requiring your leadership or attention. You might have too much on your plate.

If this is the case, no productivity tool is going to help. There’s no new app or system or philosophy to help you get more things done in less time.

And it’s probably not a motivation issue, either.

You’re not lazy.

It could be that you just feel the weight for too many things.

Being too busy is actually a slow and dangerous fade. I’ve met pastors and leaders who are literally shortening their life by being too busy.

Too many ministries mean you have to think about too many things…that’s not good for your mind.
Too many programs mean you have to attend too many meetings…that’s not good for your family.
Too many events mean you don’t have time to hang out with friends…that’s not good for your relationships.

There are a lot of bad things that can happen when a church is too busy. But one of the most dangerous things is what can happen to you when you carry too many church responsibilities.

Read 1 Book 50 Times, Not 50 Books Once (And other advice about reading)

Brian Jones

December 18, 2017

Here are five pieces of advice about books and reading I would love to share with every senior pastor starting their very first pastorate…

Dear friend,

I want to congratulate you on your very first day of becoming a senior pastor. You will find, as I have, that being a senior pastor is the greatest job in the world. Occasionally, though, it can be quite lonely. You’ll find that outside of your family and a few close friends that stick closer than a brother, that books will be your one constant companion. And since you will no doubt hear conflicting advice about how to welcome their influence into your daily rhythm, I felt that it might be helpful to hear a few counter-intuitive lessons from a friend in the trenches. As with anything I write—eat the meat and throw away the bones.

Here goes…

1. Make it your goal to read 1 book 50 times, not 50 books once.

Occasionally you’re going to run into the church leader that brags about how many books they read each year. Do not be impressed by their self-flattery. First off, I rarely believe them. For over time, they surely would have read a book about how braggadocios talk is unbecoming of kingdom leaders. But more importantly, I would much rather have you read one book 50 times than skimming 50 books once.

The great stoic philosopher Epictetus remarked,

“Don’t just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective person. Books are the training weights of the mind. They are very helpful, but it would be a bad mistake to suppose that one has made progress simply by having internalized their contents.”

It takes me about six to seven times reading a book before I start noticing his or her fingerprints on the way I think and act. Fifty times before the author’s thinking becomes my own.

One such well trod book is Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, the journal of the great Roman emperor that, not coincidentally, was never meant for publication. I have a copy next to my bed stand, and one in my car, and one in my laptop bag. His thoughts on disciplined thinking, humility in leadership and decisive action never cease to inspire me.

2. Only buy books that have been in print for more than two years (or better yet, only buy books written by dead authors).

You will save yourself a lot of time, and money, if you get into the habit of only buying books AFTER their initial marketing wave has subsided.

Time has a way of helping us weed through the number one enemy of effective ministry: fads. Yes, you will feel left out not being able to talk about the latest and greatest book with your ministry friends. But that’s OK. If you read well, your reading habits won’t be the only thing that makes you stand out.

A few years ago, I created the “dead guy book club.” For one year, our staff team only read books together that were written by dead people. I did this because nothing unmasks comfortable heresies, both of omission and commission, like someone from another generation.

For instance, I introduced powerful Christian thought leaders to my team like Elton Trueblood, whose books have gone out of print without the continual push of a media-savvy megachurch platform.

Just listen to a few lines from his book Alternative to Futility and tell me you wouldn’t benefit from spending time at this guy’s feet…

“Once a church was a brave and revolutionary fellowship, changing the course of history by the introduction of discordant ideas; today it is a place where people go and sit on comfortable benches, waiting patiently until time to go home to their Sunday dinners.

Many have refused to join the Church, not because the Church has demanded too much, but because it has demanded too little. Their criticism is not that the Church is too different from the world, but that it is too much like the world. The humiliating truth is that no Christian fellowship has ever truly challenged them.”

– Elton Trueblood, Alternative To Futility (USA: Harper & Brothers, 1948), 31, 112-113.

It was C.S. Lewis who said, “It is a good rule, after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another two new ones till you have read an old one in between.”

That, my friend, is advice worth taking to heart.

The Awe of Christmas

Jeff Baxter

December 18, 2017

Well, Christmas is coming. Are your house decorations up? Have you hung your lights outside? Is the Christmas tree set up? This is the most wonderful time of the year. It really is. Maybe you don’t believe me. We all have temporary circumstances that cause us to question how good it really is. It is the most wonderful time of the year, not because of us, but because of him. It is Jesus’ eternal presence that puts the Christ in Christmas.

Reflect on Jesus

Paul wrote to the church in Colossae the following, “The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross” (Colossians 1:15-20).

Jesus is supreme.
Christ is worthy.
He is the focal point of Christmas.
The Savior in the stable on a rescue mission.
This is why it is the most wonderful time of the year.

The Miracle of Presence

The miracle of Christmas is that God came near to us. God’s presence. It all happened in a most remarkable moment…a moment like no other. This is spectacular! God became a man. Divinity arrived. Heaven opened herself and placed her most precious one in a human womb. The omnipotent, in one instant, became flesh and blood. The one who was larger than the universe became a microscopic human embryo. And he who sustains the world with a word chose to be dependent upon the nourishment of a young peasant girl. Are you kidding me!

And God came near to you. He came, not as a distant flash of light or as an unapproachable conqueror or super hero or popular celebrity, but as one whose first cries were heard by a young girl and a sleepy carpenter. This is Immanuel—God, God, God…with us.

Majesty in the midst of the mundane.
Holiness in the middle of sheep manure and sweat.
This baby had overseen the universe.
These rags keeping him warm were the robes of eternity.
His golden throne room had been abandoned in favor of a dirty sheep pen.
And worshipping angels had been replaced with kind hardworking shepherds.

God could have started the redemption mission of the King anywhere, but it began in a manger. Why? To meet us where we are. To be present with us. Because of LOVE for us. It could have been your workplace, workshop, barn, car, living room or basement to come close. To meet us where we actually are today. Personal. This is beyond our comprehension, so we just worship because this is the most wonderful time of the year!

The song, “O Holy Night” captures the awe of Christmas and our response,

“Fall on your knees…night divine.”

Take some time this Christmas to bring the awe back to your Christmas. Set aside the busy mall, last minute shopping, cooking for the family, building the perfect toy, hanging the lights and putting up the tree to just STOP. Think. Think about Jesus, about a baby who wants to know you. It will be worth it.

What do you think?

This article originally appeared here.

When to Walk Out on a Sermon

Joe McKeever

December 18, 2017

On the morning of Sunday 19 May, 1940, Clementine Churchill returned early from a church service at St. Martin-in-the-Fields in central London, having walked out when the preacher delivered a pacifist sermon. Winston told her, ”You ought to have cried, ‘Shame!’ desecrating the House of God with lies!” (Darkest Hour, by Anthony McCarten, p. 154)

It was Easter 1968. When Martin Luther King was assassinated, all of us—white and black alike—were hurting and confused, disturbed and concerned. That Sunday I preached a sermon that addressed racism in America. I was 28 years old and in the first year of pastoring Emmanuel Baptist Church of Greenville, Mississippi, in the heart of the Delta. I’ve long since forgotten the sermon, but will never forget a phone call I received that afternoon.

Mrs. Glenn Powell called. She owned a beauty shop in town which I had quickly learned was gossip central. Mrs. Powell had made no secret of her unhappiness with my sermons or with me personally.

“Brother McKeever, what will you be preaching tonight?” I told her.

“The reason I asked,” she said, “is I guess you noticed I walked out on your sermon this morning.” I had to admit that I had not noticed. Margaret used to say you could dynamite the back of the building while I was preaching and I’d not notice it.

She went on. “We get enough of the bad news all week. When we come to church, we expect some peace and quiet.”

Peace and quiet? Not in my church. Not in any self-respecting church that finds itself in the middle of a cultural revolution.

I have no memory of what I said to her. But life went on, she stayed in the church, never keeping her unhappiness to herself (but eventually finding herself in the minority, and discovering no one was paying any attention to her), and God blessed our work.

A question for a church member to consider: What would have to happen in order for you to walk out of church in the middle of a sermon?

My wife once walked out in the middle of a sermon I was preaching on the home. In the counseling office, she told the therapist I was preaching things I was not living up to and she could not take it. She was right. I had a lot of adjusting to do in order to save our marriage. (I’ve written on these pages of our sessions with a pastoral counselor that took place over a full year.)

When I asked a number of friends, “Have you ever walked out in the middle of a sermon? and why?” the answers quickly came in and fell into three groups…

–Most said, “No, but I wish I had.” The guest preacher was boring, boring, boring, and taking two or three times the allotted time for the sermon The guest preacher began harassing the church for some failure or other.

–A few told why they did walk out. The reasons included a) the preacher was addressing people by name from the pulpit and condemning them for their failures, b) the preacher was preaching a political agenda and not the gospel (one was preaching the political party’s platform), and c) bad doctrine.

–Some pastors told how they had aborted their sermons in the middle, basically walking out on their own preaching. They’d gotten off track, or had ventured into some area where they had no business, or could tell the people had long since left them and gone home mentally.

The issue is not cut and dried.

My mentor, Dr. James Richardson, told me of the time the venerable Vance Havner preached a revival in his church. “He was awful. Negative, miserly, like a scrooge in the pulpit. He criticized everyone and everything.” James said, “I wished I’d shut down the meeting, paid him and sent him on his way.”

Why didn’t he? The answer to that is muddled. James was the nicest man on the planet and would do nothing to hurt another human. Some in the congregation would not have understood and he would have to try to explain his actions, and that would create more division or confusion. So he made a calculated decision to ride out the meeting and never again to invite Dr. Havner.

Leaders of the congregation should not walk out. Ever.

The fact is we can do a preacher a favor sometimes by getting up and walking out on his preaching. But only if we are not a leader of the church. Walking out is a no-vote, a visible expression of unhappiness over what is being preached. And it should be done only by someone with no other way of making the point.

How Christmas Can Steal Worship

Gary Durbin

December 18, 2017

This time of year is an interesting phase for the worship leader. We’ve just made it through the trick-or-treating and Thanksgiving, and Wal-Mart’s garden center is littered with holiday lawn decorations.

It’s an exciting time. We’re thinking about all the festivities, fun and family time that the winter holiday season brings.

But there is another side of it for me, and, I know, other worship leaders. There’s a twinge of “Bah Humbug” that courses through my veins. The Grinch-side of me creeps in and I start dreading the annual tale of “How the Christmas Stole Worship.”

I consider myself a true worship leader. I’m not satisfied with just playing great songs with excellence. I have a passionate vision to see my church encounter the living God every week. That drive fuels me to challenge and teach my congregation every week, all year long.

That drive and vision runs into December like a freight train, only to be met with an often frustrating and inconvenient challenge called CHRISTMAS.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas! I love busting out the Mariah Carey Christmas album and laughing at Christmas Vacation and Ralphie in his quest of the Red Ryder BB Gun (very spiritual, I know). I love everything about it that everyone else does…everything except…Christmas church services.

I’m probably pretty alone in this in my church. For everyone else, it’s not so much of a challenge and I’m sure it’s very enjoyable. If I was not the worship leader, I would be totally content and probably enjoy the Christmas focus, as we should.

My challenge is simply keeping the “worship” focus in front of my church during this season. There are a lot of worshipful Christmas songs that we all sing every year, but I have definitely seen a drop in the worshipful spirit of my church. The spirit of Christmas, as great as it is, should never replace the Spirit of God.

This is definitely a challenge, but not an impossible task. It’s a worthy challenge and God can do some great things in our midst. We just have to be willing to rise up. Sure, we can dwell on the crowd’s responsibility to worship, but we, as worship leaders, have a responsibility to prayerfully reach a balance. Christmas doesn’t have to steal worship. It can be a time of worship as well.

So, how do we help our church focus on the presence of God more than the presents under the tree?

1. TALK TO YOUR PASTOR—This is so important. If you do not clarify your pastor’s Christmas expectations, December will not be so holly and jolly. I have never regretted submitting to my pastor’s vision, even if it differed from mine. Make sure that you know what is expected. Feel free to challenge sacred cows, but DO NOT attempt something unless you have your leader’s approval. Every year, I intentionally have a conversation with my pastor to find out what kind of direction we’ll be taking in December. Some years we’ve done a Christmas series throughout the month. In that case, I know the Christmas songs will be rolling out a little early and I need to seek and pray for direction on how we can reach a balance with worship. If there’s not a Christmas series, then I know there’s not going to be as much of an urgency to dust off the holiday hymnal. In my years of ministry, I’ve done my share of challenging at Christmas time, but I have always made sure that we are in agreement with the immediate direction. Unity is a priority when you’re ministering TOGETHER and you will unite under the vision that God has given your pastor. When you unite, God loves it (Psalm 100:3) and His presence will be faithful during Christmas.

Getting a Team to Self-Destruct

Eric Geiger

December 18, 2017

A team that fights with itself wastes an incredible amount of time and energy. When a team or church or group fights, everyone loses. Energy is stewarded away from what is most important and given to tearing one another apart. Instead of rallying in the same direction around the same mission and values, time is diverted toward backbiting, politics and watching your back. Thus, a team that is divided will rarely accomplish the mission they say they have embraced. Their lack of trust slows them down and corrupts their culture. A lack of trust will crush the effectiveness of a team.

Here is an example from the sports world. Hang with me if you are not a sports fan because it is a great example…

Kobe Bryant is known as one of the most ruthless competitors to play basketball. Not only was he extremely talented and athletic, but he also excelled at studying the game and knowing how to get into opposing players’ heads to throw them off their game. He knew how to get a team to self-destruct. He confessed that when the Lakers played a team with a guy who was playing hard to get a max contract the next year and a guy who already had the max contract, they would put extra pressure on the player who was working hard for his contacct. The player who was struggling in the game would then complain against the player with the max contract. Kobe said, at that point, “We would watch them divide each other.” And Kobe knew a divided team would not be able to win.

Our enemy, Satan, who prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour, is more ruthless and more skilled than Kobe. And our enemy deploys the same tactics. He longs to divide God’s people. If we fight with one another, we don’t focus on our mission. If we fight over things that don’t matter, what really matters gets less focus and attention.

A team that fights with each other is never a team that fights for a great mission. Instead, it is a team that self-destructs.

This article originally appeared here.

Christmas: Not a Time of Peace in the Middle East

Bob Ditmer

December 18, 2017

The weekend’s terror attack on a methodist church in Pakistan is a reminder there is no Christmas Peace in a region where Christians rarely feel safe.

Nine people died and dozens others were injured at Bethel Memorial Methodist Church in Quetta after two suicide bombers attacked the church. ISIS has claimed responsibility.

DANGEROUS TIME OF YEAR

The attacks came amid heightened security because Christian places of worship are often targeted by Islamist extremists during the Christmas season.

Pakistan’s army chief, General Qamar Javed Bajwa, told Reuters, “Quetta church attack targeting our brotherly Christian Pakistanis is an attempt to cloud Christmas celebrations. We stay united and steadfast to respond against such heinous attempts.”

Baluchistan Police Chief Moazzam Ansari credited the security forces guarding the church for taking down one of the attackers, “Otherwise the loss of lives could have been much higher,” he told reporters.

It was the first time the Islamic State group has claimed an attack on a church in Pakistan, though Muslim extremists have claimed church attacks in the past. The deadliest example was in September 2013, when twin suicide bomb blasts killed 85 people in a Peshawar church. In March 2015, two suicide bombers attacked two churches in the eastern city of Lahore, killing 15 people. Those attacks happened on Easter Sunday.

The Christmas season has been a time for Islamist terrorists to strike worldwide. The “underwear bomber” attempted to blow up a plane around Christmastime in 2009.

The heinous terror attack in San Bernardino, California, began at a Christmas party when Syed Farook and his wife, Tashfeen Malik, killed 14 of their co-workers in 2015.

ISIS PLANS SMALLER ATTACKS

Terror experts warned that the inroads made against the so-called Islamic State “caliphate” in Iraq could mean increased terror attacks around the world as the group spreads its attention toward isolated attacks instead of controlling land.

Some also feared increased violence this Christmas season as a result of President Donald Trump recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capital, in early December.

Following the announcement there were regular clashes between Israeli security forces and Palestinian protesters with violence erupting in Bethlehem, Ramallah, Hebron and other West Bank towns, in addition to the Gaza Strip.

And last month, a poster circulated among ISIS supporters that showed a man driving in a car with a gun and a backpack toward the Vatican. The poster read “Christmas blood” and “So wait…” on a second line.

THE FAITHFUL ARE SHOWING NO SIGNS OF FEAR

The concerns do not appear to have affected tourism to Israel this holiday season. Statistics from the Tourism Ministry show a 24 percent increase in travel.

And while some tour guides say they are detecting signs of a downturn, Daniela Epstein, the director of the German-speaking department at Sar-El tours, a large tour operating company accommodating mostly Christian tour groups, told the Jerusalem Post that so far nobody has canceled their trips. “If anything, people are just calling and asking questions.”

Still, with tensions running high and in a region where Christians are always in danger, it is a good time to pray for the safety of our fellow believers.

What the Bible Really Means When It Talks About Peace

Brian Orme

December 18, 2017

Do you really understand what the Bible means when it talks about peace? The Bible Project breaks down the Hebrew and Greek meanings of the word and gives commentary on their implications to our understanding of Jesus—the Prince of Peace.

Shalom in Hebrew

In Hebrew, the word for peace is shalom. Its basic meaning is “whole,” as in a stone that doesn’t have a single crack in it. It refers to “something that’s complex with lots of pieces that’s in a state of completeness.”

Shalom can also refer to a person’s well-being. For instance, when David visited his brothers on the battlefield (the same fated trip when he would slay Goliath), he asked about their shalom.

Life is complex with all our relationships and challenges, the narrator of the video states. In the book of Proverbs, “to reconcile and heal a relationship is to bring shalom.”

When rival kingdoms come to shalom, they not only stop fighting one another but they also work toward each other’s prosperity.

The kings of Israel were commissioned to work toward shalom, yet they rarely did this. The prophet Isaiah addressed the kings’ negligence and spoke about a ruler who would bring shalom that would never end. “He will be called Prince of Shalom…and there will be no end of Shalom.” Isaiah 9:5-6

Eirene in Greek

Jesus’s birth was called the arrival of “eirene,” which is the Greek word for peace. When Jesus taught, he said, “My peace I give to you all.”

Jesus’s ultimate act of peace occurred when he “restored to wholeness the broken relationship between humans and their creator.” This is why Paul says Jesus “himself is our peace” in Ephesians 2:14.

True peace is not just the absence of conflict. Rather it is going a step further and restoring something that has been broken to wholeness. To be a person of peace is to follow in the example of Jesus, who reached out to his enemies, cared for the poor and the sick, and called people up to a higher standard.

9 Reminders About Being and Doing Church This Christmas

Chuck Lawless

December 17, 2017

Christmas is always a busy, exciting time for churches. Most of us know these realities, but I’m convinced we increasingly need these reminders during this season:

Not everybody knows the story of Jesus. They may have heard something about the baby in Bethlehem because it’s Christmas, but there likely are people living within the shadows of our churches that know nothing more about Him.
Some people have been taught wrong stuff about Jesus. I’m particularly thinking about followers of other world faiths. They’ve come to their conclusions about Jesus honestly if all they know is what their religion has taught them.
Some people equate Jesus with an oppressive, judgmental church. Let’s be honest—the church hasn’t always spoken the truth of God’s holiness and judgment in the most helpful way. Nonbelievers sometimes see Jesus in the same light.
Many people who return to church at Christmas are giving us one opportunity to speak to them. Sure, they may be back next Christmas—but we have this singular time to make sure they hear the gospel and sense the love of the Christ child. Let’s not miss that opportunity.
We cannot only rejoice at the numbers of people who return to church at Christmas; we must also grieve those who give church no thought during this season. I fear that our excitement at Christmas attendance is primarily related to formerly churched people coming back for a Sunday—not never-churched people hearing the gospel.
Many, many people will not come to church unless someone invites them. It’s not accurate to assume that people naturally decide to go to church because it’s Christmas. They come because somebody invites them.
The extra steps we take to welcome crowds at Christmas ought to become routine for us. I’m flabbergasted at churches who enlist greeters, watch for guests, provide open seats and welcome people warmly during this season—but let it all go as soon as Christmas is over.
Some folks who seldom come to church might be surprised by the people they discover actually do go to church. I’ve seen it happen: A Christmas guest is shocked to learn that their co-worker (or neighbor, etc.) who’s ungodly during the week is godly on the weekend.
The strength of what we do during Christmas will be evaluated by the months after this season. If our attendance increases only during these weeks, and no lives are changed, it’s fair to ask if we’ve only “done the Christmas thing” this season.

What reminders do you think we need to hear?

This article originally appeared here.

10 Reasons Why Your Kids Can’t Remember the Lesson

Dale Hudson

December 17, 2017

Did you know that if you did the following things this past weekend the kids have already forgotten 90 percent of what you taught?

You didn’t let them talk.
Kids learn best not by being lectured to, but by talking, asking questions and interacting. If you did all the talking, they’ve forgotten most of what you said.

You didn’t use any pictures.
Half of the brain is dedicated to visual function. Sixty-five percent of kids are visual learners. A picture truly is worth a thousand words.

You tried to teach too many things.
You tried to cram too much information in their head. If you tried to teach them five truths instead of one key truth, they probably don’t remember any of them. Less is more.

You didn’t use repetition.
If you only said it one time, they’ve forgotten it. If you repeated it six or more times, their retention rate went up to 90 percent. Repetition truly is the key to learning.

You didn’t hit all learning styles.
You had kids with lots of different learning styles in the room. If you only tapped into one or two, you missed many of the kids.

You didn’t honor their attention span.
If you talked over five minutes without switching to something else, they zoned out. Honor their attention span and you will keep it.

You didn’t use an object they will see this week.
If you didn’t use something they will see this week as an example or object lesson, you missed a great opportunity to remind them of what you taught. The one-way street sign they will see many times this week could have been a reminder that Jesus is the one way to heaven.

You didn’t show them how to apply it to their life and challenge them to live it out.
If you didn’t teach beyond the facts and show them how to apply it to their life this week, you shortchanged them. Information without application doesn’t lead to life change.

You didn’t engage all their senses.
If you only engaged their ears and eyes, you missed other key senses that help move truth into long-term memory. Touch, smell and taste help kids remember.

You didn’t engage their emotions.
Emotion is a glue of learning. If you didn’t create experiences that help them feel the tension of the truth, then you missed a golden opportunity.

So…what’s the answer? Simply incorporate the things you missed and watch kids remember what you teach them for a lifetime.

Essentials for Mixing Acoustic Guitars

Chris Huff

December 17, 2017

Stringed instruments have been around a long time so it’s no wonder the acoustic guitar is a common instrument in the church. And for that reason, we should be doing a great job mixing it each week. This article aims to cover all of the aspects of the acoustic guitar, from where the tone originates to mixing the acoustic guitar itself.

Tone

Sound quality starts at the source and with an acoustic guitar; you can’t get much more source than the wood used for the front and back of the guitar. For an acoustic guitar, consider the tonal properties of four of these woods:

Mahogany
The wood emphasizes the low overtones as well as the high-end response for a full warm tone.
Maple
Maple produces a very bright-sounding tone with an emphasis on the high range of the guitar.
Cocobolo
Found in limited edition or custom guitars, it produces even tones across the full spectrum of sound. Individual notes ring clear even within strummed chords.
Koa
This wood will produce a solid tone with pronounced areas in the mid-range and high end.

We have choices in how we mix an acoustic guitar but we must know how it sounds before it’s amplified, as the type of wood does affect the sound. As an added note, some woods change the tone with age. For example, as Koa ages and the guitar is played more and more, it will begin to sound like a mahogany guitar, or as I saw described, “a mahogany on steroids.”

Listen to the tone of the guitar when it’s not amplified—and get 10 feet from it so you’re hearing the direct sound. Make note of how the low, mid and high frequencies are represented.

Strings

I’ll dispense with listing out guitar string brands and models except to say that the gauge of the strings (heavy, medium, light) affect the sound as does the material and methods in which the strings are produced. I use DR acoustic strings, not because the company sponsored me (ha ha) but because I love the tone I get when they’re paired with my guitar.

The only other note to add with strings is the age.

New strings sound funky.
Old string sound bad.

New strings go out of tune faster until they are broken in, though they sound brighter. Old strings go out of tune and sound dull.

Sound detection

The last part of understanding the sound at the source is how the sound is captured.

Pickups

There might be a built-in on-board pickup located inside the guitar under the bridge. Or, a portable pickup can be placed across the sound hole. The sound of the same guitar will be different in each scenario because the sound is captured in a different space.

6 Questions to Maximize Your Leadership Energy

Dan Reiland

December 17, 2017

Some leaders seem to bring more energy to the mix than others.

Leadership energy is more about intentionality than personality. Yes, some leaders have bigger personalities than others, but there is much more to leadership than charisma, “woo” and persona. In fact, personality alone can be detrimental to enduring leadership.

Many great leaders are reserved, introspective or introverted. Again, it’s not about personality; it’s more about making something happen. Great leaders don’t just get things done, they make things happen. There is a big difference. Being a closer—that is successfully finishing what you start—is a vital part of successful leadership, but making things happen is the action that triggers momentum.

The flashing yellow caution light is about leaders who are willing to coast in the wake of other leaders’ energy and effort. Those who are willing to let the rest of the team carry the weight of anything from prayer and deep thinking, to making that one extra phone call, does not help the team. In fact, over time, they hurt the team.

The Apostle Paul writes about his energy as a leader.

²⁷To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. ²⁸He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. ²⁹To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.

Colossians 1:27-29

Paul makes three things clear.

The purpose is proclaiming Christ, and helping followers become mature.
Paul gives it all he’s got (strenuously contends, with ALL his energy).
The source of energy is Jesus.

This is how we know the playing field is more equal than personality alone would reveal. It is Christ working in and through us. That is the starting place for all of us.

Then what parts are up to you and me?

What can you do to activate the fullness of the energy that God places in you?

Six questions to help you maximize your leadership energy:

1) Are you all in?

Do you love your role and responsibility as a leader? If you are on staff, are you called and passionate or is it just a job? Can those around you count on you or are you quietly holding back, watching, and letting others carry the load?

It’s impossible to maximize your effort and energy if you are not all in where you’re at. Jump in all the way, commit! If there is a risk, it’s all in your favor!

2) Are you fighting any distractions?

We all face distractions. They might be financially related, about a difficult relationship or health oriented. The list of possibilities is long. Distractions must be intentionally battled. They never go away by themselves.

Temporary distractions are commonplace, and you can usually handle them. But long-term distractions often require help to resolve. Give the things you can’t control to God, and take action to shut down the distractions you can.

3) Are you in the right place?

Are you serving in the right place? I’m not suggesting that you make a change. But if you are uncertain that you are leading in the right environment for you, you will hold back and not leverage your full capacity.

You can’t lead with full energy if you lack confidence you are on the right team. If you are not certain, get wise counsel and decide.

4) Are you physically in shape?

You don’t need to eat Paleo, flip tires and bench-press Buicks to be in good shape for your age and body type. But it is important to keep active. Choose something you like that is easily accessible, and stick with it. Think decades, not New Year’s resolutions.

If you are exercising regularly, great, keep it up. If you are more sedentary than you would like, do something simple. Take a walk. Just go out your front door, and keep moving. If you walk briskly for 40 minutes four times a week, it will have a fantastic impact on your overall well-being and energy level.

5) Is your mental attitude positive?

There is a great truth about the difference between your cup being half empty or half full. Think about it. Who do you like being around more? Negative people or positive people? Negative people are draining. But the surprising truth is that the person they drain the most is themselves.

The wonderful news here is that your attitude is a choice!

6) Is your personal life in order?

You may not be able to resolve a struggle at home quickly, but progress increases hope and thereby increases your energy for everything you do.

It may be as simple as an apology, or perhaps formal counseling is needed, or maybe it’s intentional time with your kids. Take the first step toward progress today.

This article originally appeared here.

4 Scientific Reasons Small Groups Should Practice Gratitude

Jon Noto

December 17, 2017

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Gratitude is central to our walk as Christians. We see the important role it plays in relating with God and others.

In our modern age we have the benefit of science, which continues to back up the claims of Scripture. Check out these ways science backs up our theological view of gratitude. See, too, just how much gratitude impacts small group ministry.

Gratitude increases our desire to help others.

In 2006, a team of researchers studied how gratitude affects our willingness to engage in “costly prosocial behavior.” Another way of phrasing that is “helping even when it hurts.” The study found that gratitude increases likelihood of helping others. It also found that the impact gratitude has is distinct from just being in a generally good mood. As a small group point person, you know the importance of group members helping one another. As people recognize the gifts they have in their life it’s a natural next step to extend gifts to others.

Gratitude increases empathy.

This 2011 study found that gratitude increases sensitivity to others’ needs and empathy. Empathy is foundational in its importance in small group dynamics. Only when group members understand one another can they start to truly care for one another. Romans 12:15 emphasizes this importance when it tells us, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Having an emotional and relational connection with others in our groups is pivotal.

Christian values and gratitude increase physical health!

A 2015 study showed several findings important to our Christian walk. First, they found that a belief in a benevolent God led to more gratitude. Next, they observed that gratitude increased hopefulness. Finally, they measured better health outcomes related to that hopefulness. As Christians we are not surprised to find that following God leads to thankfulness and good health. However, this collection of findings emphasizes that gratitude is core to relating with God. We can encourage one another in this as John does in 3 John 1:2, “I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.”

Finally, expressing gratitude to a small group leader may increase functioning!

Here’s a finding your small group leaders will want to share with their groups. In 2014 a team observed a group of athletes and measured their gratitude toward coaches. Openly grateful athletes exhibited higher self-esteem that appeared to optimize functioning. So next time someone in your small group wants to take things to the next level, just remind them to be more thankful to their small group leader!

This article originally appeared here.

How and Why the Future Church Can Thrive

Carey Nieuwhof

December 17, 2017

Need some hope?

It’s easy to get discouraged about the future of the church.

While the world seems to be falling apart, so does the church.

Attendance in many places is shrinking, not growing. Even committed Christians are attending less often (here’s why). And young leaders aren’t exactly flocking into ministry.

And often we shoot ourselves in the foot, with everything from Pharisee-like self-righteousness to downright stupid things Christians do (here are five).

Yet it’s not all gloom and doom. I’m an optimist.

You can always find the opportunity in every obstacle.

As you think about the future and how you need to change as a church, here are five principles that can guide you and your team.

1. Fill the Relational Void

The truth about our culture is this: Thanks to an abundance of technology, we have never been more connected as a culture before, and we’ve never felt more disconnected.

As our lives have moved online, and as people have become more mobile and even (in growing numbers) location independent, people have never felt more lonely.

We know our neighbors less than we ever have before. It’s really hard to love someone you don’t know.

Our social media feeds give us the illusion of community. But read between the lines and you’ll see intense loneliness and even the re-emergence of tribalism where we only (virtually) associate with the people who agree with us.

When I talk to people in my community and around the world who are working through life issues, I always ask them, “Who are you talking to about this?”

The number one answer? Nobody.

People may have friends, but few have deep friendships, friendships that can carry the weight of life and faith and hope and meaning and existence.

The church hasn’t done a great job of community in the past. We claim to be friendly, but that usually only means we’re friendly to each other.

And catching up on what happened this week and talking about sports or the weather is hardly what Jesus had in mind when he told us to love one another.

But the truth is the real mission of the church is relationship. It defines the vertical nature of our faith (love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength) and the horizontal essences of Christianity (love your neighbor as yourself).

If anyone can get relationship right, it should be the church.

So ask yourself as a church leader: What are you doing to forge the deepest relationships you can forge in this life?

Nobody should be able to out-community the local church.

Encouraging First-Time Church Visitors to Return

1. Remember their names.

2. Give attention to the workflow.

Me.

Four Reasons I Don’t Like Christmas Programs

Deacons, Elders and Discipleship

Discipleship as an Intentional Goal of Ministry

Spiritual Abuse in the Church

Here are a few things not to say to someone who has been hurt by their church:

1. “No Church Is Perfect.”

2. “Are You Working Toward Reconciliation?”

#1 – We Don’t Identify the Difference Between Urgent and Important.

#2 – There Are Too Many Ministries Requiring Leadership and Attention.

1. Make it your goal to read 1 book 50 times, not 50 books once.

2. Only buy books that have been in print for more than two years (or better yet, only buy books written by dead authors).

DANGEROUS TIME OF YEAR

ISIS PLANS SMALLER ATTACKS

THE FAITHFUL ARE SHOWING NO SIGNS OF FEAR

Shalom in Hebrew

Eirene in Greek

Tone

Strings

Sound detection

Pickups

Six questions to help you maximize your leadership energy:

1) Are you all in?

2) Are you fighting any distractions?

3) Are you in the right place?

4) Are you physically in shape?

5) Is your mental attitude positive?

6) Is your personal life in order?

1. Fill the Relational Void

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