Leading Beyond the Surface
As a leader, you want to connect. You want to lead well, which requires the ability to lead people not like you. You want to build a team with diverse personalities, interests, and skills. Unity of culture is a must, but diversity everywhere else is vital.
My tattoo shop experience left me wondering how often we don’t notice the exact people who could be perfect for our team, church, or organization simply because they don’t look the part or dress the part. We too often make snap, external decisions without taking a moment to consider what may lay beyond the surface.
How Can We Stop Making Surface Judgements?
If we don’t intentionally develop the skill of looking beyond what appear as differences, we will miss much of what life has to offer. Here are some tips to be intentional with those people you meet every day:
1. Acknowledge you live with stereotypes.
Anyone who says they don’t see what’s on the surface is either lying or ignorant. We all have learned to first look on the outside and, if we feel comfortable with what we see, take it deeper. This default approach leaves us relationally anemic. We become isolated, existing in a self-created echo chamber.
We all have stereotypical perceptions. We need to make an intentional commitment to acknowledge they exist.
Question: What stereotypes do you have? How were they formed?
2. Notice how you feel when people enter your world.
Say you’re sitting at Copper Coin, the best coffee shop in Woodstock, Georgia (shameless plug). You are at a table drinking a latte made from single-origin specialty coffee and snacking on a world-famous cinnamon roll. (Again…). People begin walking in the shop and passing by. How do you perceive them? The only answer is by their appearance.
This is my point. My tattoo shop owner friend has probably been in my coffee shop many times while I’m there. And I probably assessed him, thinking, “I bet we have nothing in common.”
Question: When a person who doesn’t look like you is near you, what is your typical reaction?
3. Take time to know, not assume.
This isn’t possible at all times, but when it is, take the time to interact with people. Develop some go-to questions that help you see below the surface. Ask them what they love to do when they aren’t working. Ask them what they dreamed of doing when they were a child? Ask them where they desire to vacation one day.
You may find that we are all more similar than we are different. We share so many common dreams and hopes. We might perceive the path to our vision differently, but our landing point is likely similar.
Question: How are you intentionally learning about others?
