Jesus modeled life as it was meant to be lived, and He understood that some people feed you, and some people feed off of you. You need a balance of both for spiritual health.
So here’s the critical question: Are those around you, in your innermost circle, bringing you closer to Jesus or taking you further away?
In taking your own relational inventory, begin with the three basic types of people in your life: those who drain you, those who are neutral and those who put gas in your spiritual tanks.
Or as one friend of mine put it, first there are VIPs—Very Important People. These people ignite your passion and faith for living more like Jesus. They make a very significant contribution to who you are and what you are doing. They mentor you, challenge you, invest in you, model things for you. You walk away from time spent with them energized, envisioned, ready to try new things and reach new heights. They spur you on.
Next are VNPs—Very Neutral People. They may enjoy your spiritual passion, but they don’t do much to stimulate yours. Neutral people can be fun to have around, they can boost your ego, but they don’t add much to the spiritual mix.
You have to be careful about VNPs—they can seem innocent, innocuous, harmless. But over time, a VNP may allow you to drift toward the course of least resistance, and their own passivity, their own lack of passion, will lead you to lower your own expectations, so that you care less, aspire to less, and achieve less.
And then there are VDPs—Very Draining People. They are the ones who sap your passion. They drain away your enthusiasm, your commitment, your heart for serving Christ.
At some point, take a relational inventory. Take out a piece of paper and make three columns—one for VIPs, one for VNPs, and one for VDPs. Then scroll through your relational world, particularly your inner circle, and put the names of those closest to you into the appropriate category. Be ruthlessly honest about this, and don’t worry about the estimation of others while doing it.
Remember, one person’s VDP may be somebody else’s VIP. In the Bible we find that the apostle Paul (at least initially) had a hard time with Mark, while Barnabas gladly invested time and energy into Mark’s life.
The point is to take an inventory of who those people are for you—the feelings that spending time with them bring out in you.
If you don’t have many VIPs, but a lot of VNPs or VDPs…
… you have some relational work to do.
This article originally appeared here and is used by permission.
