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God’s 5 Purposes for Your Marriage

Purpose of Marriage #4. God shaped our marriage to serve Him by serving others.

One of the most difficult seasons of our marriage hit us when we moved from serving together to doing life a bit separately.

Church was great. The weather was awesome. The opportunities to be adventurous and to experience a new place were wonderful. And the friends we made are lifetimers, especially within our small group.

But, we made a painful transition.

For 13 years, we had been the pastor and pastor’s wife who put on Vacation Bible Schools, hosted families in our home and sat together at potlucks. We were always in the trenches together doing ministry alongside each other.

Suddenly, I left early for the office to carry on my pastoral ministry while Angie served in ministry at home—homeschooling and changing lots of diapers.

Neither is more or less ministry, but we were doing ministry separately and differently than we had experienced.

Since planting Grace Hills, we’ve relished the opportunities to get back to serving people beside each other while also valuing our uniquely individual ministries as well. Few things will bring you closer as a couple than doing something together to serve other people.

Purpose of Marriage #5. God made our marriage for a mission.

Our marriage itself should show the world what it meant for Jesus to love the church like a bride, to lay down His own life for her (“church” comes from a feminine Greek word), and to redeem and wash and cleanse her for Himself.

So our love should be such that people see us and are taught something about God’s love. And we should show each other the kind of grace that teaches people how God forgives. And we should see our marriage as an opportunity to witness to the world about Jesus together.

That means opening our home to the hurting, counseling couples and individuals together, and living on mission together.

I fell in love with Angie in high school. I wanted to be around her all the time. I couldn’t wait to marry her. I loved starting a life with her and I wouldn’t trade any of those earliest memories together for anything in the world. I get the warm fuzzies thinking about it. But while I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything, I also don’t want to go back.

I’m loving “the now” with Angie. I’m grateful for all that we’ve discovered and are still discovering about what it means to be married, to glorify God together, to find community and oneness in each other, to serve others and share Jesus together. And with all of the painful discoveries and difficult conversations we’ve had, I’ve never felt more blessed and gifted with a girl who makes my heart melt.

I’m thankful for the virtuous woman God has given to me to be my wife. Her price is far above rubies. And I’m even more thankful that He has clarified His purposes for our marriage, and now I look forward to each new day of seeing those purposes fulfilled in us.

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Brandon Cox is Lead Pastor of Grace Hills Church, a new church plant in northwest Arkansas. He also serves as Editor and Community Facilitator for Pastors.com and Rick Warren's Pastor's Toolbox and was formerly a Pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. In his spare time, he offers consultation to church leaders about communication, branding, and social media. He and his wife, Angie, live with their two awesome kids in Bentonville, Arkansas.