Dear church, my husband and I are new to town and we’re looking for a church home. We visited your church three months ago and we’ve never been back. And I know for certain that we won’t be joining your church.
Dear Church, We Won’t Be Back! And Here’s Why…
There are some very specific reasons—things you do that just didn’t work for us. For example…
Dear Church #1: Your worship was TOO loud!
My husband and I come from a church that had the lights, fog, and rockin’ band. But in this new season of our life, we both looked at each other after 20 minutes and said “you wanna go?”
So we did.
The funny thing is that you have such a welcoming atmosphere, your children’s ministry looks top-notch, and you seem to be one of the “happening” churches in town.
But we left…and we won’t be back.
Dear Church #2: Your dress was TOO formal!
You have an older congregation and it looks like you enjoy dressing up for church–suits, ties, dresses. I have to tell you that my husband and one other person were the only men in shorts. He felt a tad self-conscious. Or maybe I did for him.
Your service was more formal also. The music and the sermon. And that was okay; what was so cool was how everything you did was infused with Scripture!
Even so…we left…and we won’t be back.
Dear Church #3: Your congregation was TOO young!
Is that possible? I loved everything about your church—the younger demographic, the worship style, and even the rented setting. My husband, on the other hand, realized that the one small group for men that you offered was probably not his demographic. And that’s something he’s looking for—a place to connect with men in his life stage.
If I could choose, we would’ve settled there. But this isn’t a decision that we’ll make individually. We’re a couple and we’ll decide together.
We left…and we won’t be back.
Dear Church #4: Your church just didn’t do it for us!
We loved your worship…that people actually sang…that a lot of people brought their Bibles…the teaching was solid. And it didn’t hurt that it was less than five minutes from our house!
I can’t really tell you why you didn’t become our home church. It was something intangible. Call it God’s leading or the Holy Spirit’s prompting—or even the absence of those things. But there was nothing that made us feel “led” to your church.
So we left…and we won’t be back.
Your church wasn’t the right fit for us.
We did find our church, though. We’re happily settling into a church community where we love the worship, the teaching, the style, the leadership, the outreach, and so much more. We go every Sunday with an anticipation that God is going to meet us there. And we love it!
So should your church become more like the one we ended up at?
Absolutely not!
The things I pointed out aren’t the only reasons we’re not coming to your church. In fact, your church was amazing—it just wasn’t our church home.
There are three compelling reasons I’m telling you: DON’T CHANGE A THING!
1. Your church is never going to appeal to everybody. And that’s OKAY!
I’m grateful that your church is THE church for the people whom God draws every Sunday—and they’ll never leave!
2. Your church is what God has called you to be. And that’s more than OKAY!
I hope you’ll never change God’s vision and call for your church—simply to meet consumer demand! Stay the course!
3. Your church is perfect for the people who land there. And that, of course, is OKAY!
This great big beautiful organism called the body of Christ has so many different flavors and expressions. Yours is necessary—just as it is!
I’m thankful we got to visit your churches as we hunted for our new home church. I’m thankful that the body of Christ is bold and beautiful and formal and active and present for the right people who belong there.
We left your church…and we’ll never be back (well, maybe to visit)…and that’s OKAY!
