Home Pastors Articles for Pastors 7 Signs the Insecure Leader on the Team . . . Is...

7 Signs the Insecure Leader on the Team . . . Is You!

7 Signs the Insecure Leader on the Team...Is You

Ever feel a like you’re an insecure leader?? You’re not alone. Insecurity is something I’ve battled, and I can think of almost no one in leadership who hasn’t struggled with it at some point, including most very successful leaders.

Insecurity is that awkward lack of confidence that makes you too aggressive in some settings, and too passive and resigned in others. It makes you hide who you really are from others, and honestly, it makes you hide from yourself.

Finally, insecurity drains the life out of your leadership and ultimately out of you.

Insecure leader has a hard time identifying the fact that he or she is insecure, because, well, insecurity feels normal. The challenge is as an insecure person, your behavior will make perfect sense to you but not to anyone else.

So rather than having that happen, why not look for the signs insecurity is impacting your life and leadership now?

7 signs that the insecure leader in the room is you:

1. YOU WANT TO HAVE ALL THE BEST IDEAS

Insecure people end up being controlling people.

Insecurity makes you want to ensure that all the best ideas flow from you or through you, so you can claim credit.

That way, as your insecurity recognizes, when people talk about your organization, they’ll talk about you. And when your team thinks about you, they’ll think about how bright you are.

While that may feel good in the moment, over the long term it’s draining and vision-thwarting.

The problem, of course, is that this assumes you have all the best ideas, which is never the case and (especially for pastors) completely unscriptural. (There’s something about the gifts of God residing in the people of God in the scripture.)

Second, if all the best ideas need to come from you, your organization won’t have that many great ideas. You’re not that smart. Really.

But your insecurity needs you to be that.

And everyone and everything suffers as a result.

2. YOU FEEL SECRETLY THREATENED BY GREAT TALENT

Insecurity and fear are frequent companions.

Your insecurity will make you fear people who are more gifted than you or better than you.

As a result, just like when you need to have all the best ideas, because you feel threatened by talent, you’ll exclude them from your team, never invite them to your meetings, keep them off the platform and otherwise exclude them from your life.

By the way, this doesn’t just apply to staffing. It applies to volunteers as well.

Your most capable volunteers will sense your ambivalence toward them, and eventually they’ll leave.

Here’s what you need to realize: An insecure leader’s sense of smallness always drives big talent away.

3. YOU CAN’T CELEBRATE SOMEONE ELSE’S SUCCESS

This trait is a tell tale sign that you are insecure.

Why can’t you just give a compliment? Why can’t you be genuinely happy when someone else succeeds?

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Speaker and podcaster Carey Nieuwhof is a former lawyer and founding pastor of Connexus Church, one of the largest and most influential churches in Canada. With over 6 million downloads, The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast features today's top leaders and cultural influencers. His most recent book is “Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences.” Carey and his wife, Toni, reside near Barrie, Ontario and have two children.