Marriage has a deeper meaning than two people taking up space in a home, sharing responsibilities, and physically connecting with each other. In fact, it is marriage between a husband and his wife that God uses to provide a picture of His relationship with His church. As true as that may be, it’s also true that every marriage is made up of two sinners, who are prone to weakness, selfish desires, and fleshly thinking. So how can a husband and wife partner together in order to make life decisions? Matt Chandler, who is pastor of the Village Church, and his wife, Lauren, provide insight through this video about that very thing.
The Lord, according to Lauren, has created the husband to fulfill the role of servant leader within marriage just as Christ loves, leads, and serves the His church. Wives, just like the church, should flourish under the leadership of her husband. Husbands can provide this type of servant leadership by listening to how their wives view and feel about upcoming decisions. Ultimately, the decision lies with the husband either by deferring or by his direct decision. This means that the ramifications of the decision will lay with him and not his wife.
Godly husbands, says Matt, have no natural desire to say “no” to their wives but try to lay down any “yes” before their wives. But there are times when deferring would be unwise and could put the family in harm’s way. Male headship is not about flexing his authority but about protection of the marriage and family as well as values that honor Christ. Husbands can communicate this leadership by saying, “the answer is ‘yes’ now ask the question”. This gives wives unfettered communicative freedom with their husbands and encourages good dialogue about significant life decisions.