“There’s also those who start out with a sincere desire to serve those whom God has called them to serve, but over time, perhaps because of various experiences or perhaps because they neglect their own soul and their own health, over time begin to see their church, their ministry, as as something that they need to control, that they need to have complete power over.”
“In a lot of faith communities, we see the need to establish some kind of ‘sacred role’: the pastor, the prophet, the priest…the leader of the community, and we center everything around that person.”
“The community can feel this need to protect that role at all costs so that even if a pastor is abusing the people under his care, the community might suspect that or know that, and yet look away or cover it up.”
“I think we really need to think through how we are structuring our faith communities.”
“I’m really intrigued by what I’m seeing of a growing emphasis on shared leadership.”
“One of the ways that we can help churches become safer places is by helping boards understand the significance of their role…so often, you have a compliant board who is allowing the senior pastor to get away with all kinds of behaviors because they’re no longer providing the kind of checks that they’re needing to.”
“A lot of boards have a bully on the board, and it may not be the senior pastor.”
“The community has an obligation to protect itself from behaviors that are damaging to the community, irrespective of who the person is.”
“It is very difficult to confront somebody that you believe is abusive because you’ll become a target and that’s a very difficult position to be in. In some cases, it’s even unsafe.”
“Often the person who is confronting those who are in the wrong with the truth ends up being ostracized by the community.”
“There are examples out there and institutions that have responded with truth and transparency. And what I often tell people is, when you see it you’ll know it because it is so different than what we’ve come to expect from institutions.”
“I believe that in every church, there are people with untold stories and there are people with hurts that the leadership just isn’t aware of.”
“What does it look like for us to respond well when a survivor decides to share their story with us?”
Mentioned in the Show by Wade Mullen
GRACE
Something’s Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse—and Freeing Yourself from Its Power by Wade Mullen
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