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Henry Cloud: Trust Is More Complex Than You Might Realize

Dr. Henry Cloud
Image courtesy of Dr. Henry Cloud

Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and best-selling author who has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant. His 45 books, including the iconic “Boundaries,” have sold nearly 20 million copies worldwide. Henry’s latest book is, “Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken.”

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Key Questions for Henry Cloud

-​​Why is it impossible to live without trust?

-How do pastors and church leaders extend trust well, and when should they withdraw it?

-If church leaders have experienced betrayal, how do they avoid projecting fear on to new people and learn to trust again?

-What are some common mistakes pastors and church leaders make when it comes to trust?

Key Quotes From Henry Cloud

“God is the creator and the rest of us are created beings, and so we derive all of life from outside of ourselves…And God has wired every human in the deepest neurological level…to know when it is safe to take something in from the outside.”

“A lot of people, when they think of trust, they think, ‘Yeah, I trust him. You know, he wouldn’t lie to me.’ And they kind of reduce it to only the moral and ethical foundations of trust. But…there’s a lot of people who wouldn’t lie to us, but we can’t trust them to run the small group ministry.”

“Trust comes from understanding. In other words, we trust somebody, not when they persuade us, but first of all, do they understand me?…If you feel understood, the whole system begins to open up.”

“You can’t convince somebody until you’ve connected with them.”

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“This gets really sticky for Christians because we’re called to forgive, right? And we want to forgive failures and we want to forgive mistakes. We want to have a learning culture where people can make mistakes, but making mistakes and having a problem, that’s normal and we solve those. But if somebody does the same thing over and over, that’s not a problem. That’s a pattern.”