Trauma has been called “the word of the decade”—it is a frequent topic in the media and increasingly evident in everyday speech. Many, however, feel confused about what trauma really means. And, perhaps because of that confusion, our churches often don’t respond well to those who have experienced trauma.
Some, either because they find trauma confusing and complicated or because they are fearful of moving toward those who have been so badly hurt, end up doing nothing to help. Others, out of a misplaced confidence, overestimate their ability to be agents of healing.
There are better responses that we can make—responses that are shaped by a humility that seeks to understand and by a grace that is driven by the gospel. Here are three suggestions to help us.
1. Be eager for understanding
Trauma involves severe suffering. It’s been described as a “brush with death.” In many forms of trauma, it is evil that comes near. When we read the Book of Job, we learn that Job’s suffering was in fact satanic, though, strikingly, nothing in the book suggests that he ever knew that himself. There is a mystery in suffering that we will never fathom. There is value in trying to understand the experience of trauma, but we will never comprehend everything about the causes and impact of severe suffering. We are simply trying to recognise more of the many ways such suffering affects a person. Growing in understanding will help us to avoid responses that, despite our best intentions, may prove less than helpful.
As we read the Book of Job, we see the isolation Job felt. We read about his doubts, his spiritual agonies, his anxiety, and the nightmares that plague him. Past trauma often produces feelings of shame and relational isolation. It often leads to anxiety and a kind of hyper-arousal that leaves a person sensitive to every suggestion of threat. Often this also means that people will avoid anything that reminds them of the awful experience they suffered in the past.
It seems obvious that, in our churches, we should want to care for those who have experienced these terrible kinds of suffering. Knowing more about the impact of trauma will help us with doing so.
2. Be eager for involvement
It’s possible to come at the experience of trauma in a way that assumes it’s the church’s job to work out what people need and then the church’s job to deliver it. That begins to sound a little like “we know what’s best for you.” Since many identify helplessness as a central element in the experience of trauma, it’s not hard to see how such an attitude can backfire.
Much better to see those in our communities who have faced severe suffering as people from whom we have much to learn. Suffering is, after all, frequently identified as a means by which God gives us growth. James speaks of the perseverance that comes through the experience of trials (James 1:2-4) and how that perseverance leads to maturity. The apostle Paul says something similar—suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 5:3-4). Such growth takes time and is invariably hard-won. Those on that journey usually have much to teach us about honest engagement with the Lord.
We should be eager to engage those who have faced trauma. Rather than come at this with an attitude that is thinking in terms of “projects to solve,” we’d do much better to think in terms of “people to involve.” God makes clear that “to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:7). It sometimes seems as if we imagine this only becomes true after someone has stopped struggling with their trauma. But it is always true. How each person is best involved and in what way their gifts can be best used will need conversation and wisdom, but we shouldn’t gaze past that.
