More Sustainable Youth Ministry Tips
6. After identifying what values are missing, make a change.
Jeremy: Next, what advice would you give to a youth pastor who’s just starting out, is committed to sticking it out for the long haul, and wants a sustainable youth ministry? What overarching principles will steer the youth pastor in the right direction?
Mark DeVries: We use a Builder’s List for every church we assist. It helps congregations identify the most important, most foundational tasks. It’s amazing that most of these are the same, no matter the church size. And they’re often the tasks that are easiest to avoid.
A builder’s list drastically helps you clarify your youth ministry triangle pyramid. And that leads you to construct a sustainable youth ministry. This Builder Checklist is the best 2-page document to lay a solid foundation for youth youth ministry.
7. Let students carry the upfront load and find a mentor for key young leaders.
Jeremy: You aren’t a fan of youth in leadership. However, what if a student apprenticeship program focused on producing a student servant leadership team? For example, kids clean up after the program, greet new students, stack chairs after a women’s ministry program. Students won’t have the power. Rather, they’ll have the power to be servants of the youth ministry. Thoughts?
Mark DeVries: I love it! I’ve obviously made my case about teen leadership a little too stridently. In fact, I’m a huge fan of student leadership, student apprenticeship, student servanthood. I love to see kids carry much of the upfront load for our ministry.
What I’m not a fan of is students setting the vision or direction of a youth ministry. I’m not a fan of adults abandoning youth to lead without appropriate built-in mentoring and discipleship. And I’m not a fan of churches assuming they can start a thriving, sustainable youth ministry on the foundation of student leadership.
Great student leadership happens when the key foundational elements (from the Builder’s List) are in place. Then and only then can you try to create a student leadership program.
8. Come alongside your critic and see it from their perspective.
Jeremy: Finally, nobody likes criticism. When a parent, other pastor, or staff admin criticizes us, what techniques can prevent us from getting defensive? You mention a few in the book, namely listen for the nugget of wisdom and search for creative solutions together. But what are some other strategies?
Mark DeVries: I love the bullfighter approach. Keep your eyes on the bull. Listen closely to what they have to say without running after them and trying to change them.
As the bull charges, get out of the way. The biggest mistake most youth workers make in conflict is trying to wrestle critics to the ground. They try to win on the brute force of their brilliant ideas. It almost never works.
As you step aside, face the same direction as the bull. Nothing is as powerful (and disarming) as coming side by side with your attacker and looking in the same direction. Say something like, “You’re exactly right. We definitely need to work on that.”
Access the bull’s power. Once your criticizer has been heard, they’re much more likely to jump on your team and help you move the ministry forward, especially if it helps solve their area of concern. (The next step in a bullfight is killing the bull. That wouldn’t be a good idea!)
Conflict management, like bullfighting, is a skill we must learn and practice. If you’re constantly getting sideways with your critics, let those encounters be a practice field to hone your skills.
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