Uncomfortable Bodies
The preteen years are difficult to navigate for kids and parents. Parents witness their children rapidly evolving toward teenagers, their bodies, and minds going through enormous changes. Kids experience mental, emotional, and physical changes that can be unsettling and embarrassing. They’re often petrified of being under a perceived “magnifying glass” where others constantly judge them. Their clothing choice, shoes, hairstyle, and body shape all matter more now.
Some preteens are mortified by the thought of talking about such personal things, while others talk freely. Some need to process the physical changes they’re experiencing—even the uncomfortable ones. That’s where Sunday school discussion topics come in.
Fearless Conversation is letting kids be themselves in a safe place without pressure.
It’s letting them express themselves, even when their concerns make you stammer or blush. (“Why didn’t God give boys a period?”) Body talk can be a source of humor, embarrassment, or fear for preteens, and it’s a touchy subject. Parents must take the lead on the personal stuff, but you can provide supportive backup.
Don’t shame kids for their questions: “We don’t talk about that.” Instead, take the attitude that kids ask embarrassing questions from a place of innocence—and often confusion. Without going into gory detail, you can engage with kids about how they’re feeling. Remind them that everyone grows and changes at their own pace and that God has designed each of them perfectly.
If kids ask a question that throws you, promise to find out more and follow up—then do so. Let parents know if kids’ concerns seem serious or if a preteen seems depressed. Consider offering training for kids and parents on puberty. Encourage preteens that God’s plans for them are good, and that includes the way their bodies and minds are developing. And regularly remind them their changing body is normal and everyone goes through it.
Problematic Peers
Peer pressure in the preteen years moves beyond wanting to fit in and hoping for invites to birthday parties. Today’s kids live with pressure surrounding everything from dabbling in drugs, vaping, drinking, sex, lying, pornography, and cheating in school to positive forms of peer pressure such as participating in sports, school achievement, and extracurricular activities. All pressure can take a toll on kids. When we openly talk about pressure, we equip kids to better respond to it and remind them God wants to be the One to guide our choices.
