Wondering how to handle youth group drama at church? Then keep reading for helpful, Bible-based insights from veteran youth leader Greg Stier.
I hear it more and more as I talk to youth leaders across America. Many struggle with dreaded youth group drama. A hyper-sensitive clique of girls is mad at an insensitive clique of sarcastic boys. (Or vice versa or mix-n-match.) Kids take sides. They hurl hurtful words. They hurt feelings.
I saw this happen at my own kids’ Christian school. Rifts tear apart groups of friends. At times, you can feel conflict in the air. It shuts down your ability to minister effectively to teenagers. Bitterness and lack of forgiveness can hamper the impact of the Spirit of God. And youth group drama can hamper your effectiveness, too.
First you must deal with conflicts in practical, biblical ways. As the youth leader, be a shepherd or moderator. Sit the factions down to work things out. That requires kids asking for and granting forgiveness.
This isn’t always easy or pleasant. Perpetually unforgiving or offending teenagers may need to leave the group until they can resolve the tension in their souls.
An Example of How To Handle Youth Group Drama
I’ll never forget speaking at a youth camp. The original camp speaker double-booked, so I arrived a day or two late. There were five or so youth groups and tremendous “sin in the camp” (quite literally!). Youth leaders were arguing with students. Students were committing mutiny against their youth leaders. Youth groups were fighting with other youth groups.
After assessing the situation, I took action. That night, instead of a typical camp talk, I simply quoted Ephesians 4:32. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Then after some explanation, I said we’d have no sermon that night. Instead, we’d have an open mic for teenagers to seek and grant forgiveness. I told the group that no amount of preaching would solve bitterness unless people were willing to confess and forsake it. Then I said, “I’m going to sit down and leave this microphone here on the stand for whoever feels compelled to ask for forgiveness first.”
With that, I sat down in a room full of tense, awkward silence. It seemed like an hour passed as the uncomfortable tension grew. (It was probably less than five minutes total.)
Finally, one teen, who I later found out was the ringleader of his group’s insurrection against their new leader, walked up to the mic. He began to weep and begged his youth leader for forgiveness. After some tears and hugs, the line for the microphone began forming.
By the time we finished, over an hour later, we were unified and ready for camp.
