Ever struggle with how to get teenagers talking beyond grunts? Wondering how to get kids to open up in substantive ways? Read one youth minister’s tips for connecting with teens.
Conversations with my own teenagers can drift toward the mundane.
“How was school?” “Fine.”
“Soccer practice?” “Same as always.”
“Anything interesting happen today?” “Nope.”
“Nice talking with you!”
Youth workers probably experience the same frustrations with how to get teenagers talking.
“What’s your name?” “Chris.”
“What school do you go to?” “Centerville High.”
“Play any sports?” “Nope.”
(awkward pause)
“Have you ever accidently killed a squirrel?”
“Huh?”
“Never mind.”
Let’s face it. Teenagers have a Ph.D. in one-word answers…if we don’t ask the right questions.
Trying to have a conversation with teens doesn’t have to be like pulling teeth, though. Here are 5 tips for how to get teenagers talking.
5 Tips on How To Get Teenagers Talking
1. Avoid yes-or-no questions.
If you ask those, then you’ll get a one word answer. If you ask a teenager, “Was school fun today?” Chances are, you’re gonna hear “No.” Conversation over.
2. Don’t ask dull questions.
Sure, if you’re just meeting a teenager you might need to ask their name and school. But don’t go the expected route! Ditch the typical, “Do you like it there?” (a yes-or-no question). Instead, ask something a little unexpected. “If you had to choose just one class, or one teacher, and could ditch the rest, which would you choose?”
A question like that gives you insights. It reveals what subjects the student likes and what kind of adults they respect. Plus, the question provides a fun element. The teen can picture a world where they choose classes and ditch others!
But unexpected questions don’t always come easy. So that’s why you always need to…
3. Think ahead!
Don’t try to think of something on the fly. Plan ahead. Parents: Don’t wait until you’re sitting at the dinner table to think of something to say. Youth workers: Don’t walk up to a teenager and say the first thing on your mind. Think ahead. Use some resources if you have to. Which brings me to my next tip…
