Ever struggle with how to get teenagers talking beyond shrugs and grunts? Wondering how to get kids to open up in substantive ways? Then read one youth minister’s tips for connecting with teens.
Conversations with my own teenagers can drift toward the mundane.
“How was school?” “Fine.”
“Soccer practice?” “Same as always.”
“Anything interesting happen today?” “Nope.”
“Nice talking with you!”
Youth workers probably experience the same frustrations with how to get teenagers talking.
“What’s your name?” “Chris.”
“What school do you go to?” “Centerville.”
“Play any sports?” “Nope.”
(awkward pause)
“Have you ever accidentally killed a squirrel?”
“Huh?”
“Never mind.”
Let’s face it. Teenagers have a Ph.D. in one-word answers…if we don’t ask the right questions. Trying to have a conversation with teens doesn’t have to be like pulling teeth, though. Here are 5 suggestions for how to get teenagers talking.
5 Tips on How To Get Teenagers Talking
1. Avoid yes-or-no questions.
First is a reminder we all need. If you ask a yes-or-no question, you’ll likely get a one-word answer. “Was school fun today?” will likely yield the swift reply, “No.” Conversation over.
2. Don’t ask dull questions.
Sure, if you’re meeting a teen for the first time, you might need to ask their name and school. But don’t go the expected route! Ditch the typical, “Do you like it there?” (a yes-or-no question). Instead, ask something a little unexpected. “If you could choose just one class or one teacher and ditch the rest, which would you choose?”
A question like that gives you insights. It reveals what subject the student likes and what kind of adults they respect. Plus, the question provides a fun element. The teen can picture a world where they choose classes and ditch others!
But unexpected questions don’t always come easy. So that’s why you always need to…
3. Think ahead!
Next up: Don’t try to think of something on the fly. Plan ahead. Parents: Don’t wait until you’re sitting at the dinner table to spark a conversation. Youth workers: Don’t walk up to a teenager and say the first thing on your mind. Think ahead. Use some resources, if you have to. Which brings me to my next tip…
