Just before Jen Hatmaker’s memoir “Awake” hit shelves, ex-husband Brandon Hatmaker publicly responded to the cheating scandal that ended their 26-year marriage. In a 3,000-word Substack post on Sept. 22, Brandon—a former pastor—said there were “important distinctions” and “some truths left out” of the public narrative surrounding their split.
Brandon Hatmaker acknowledged the affair that led to the couple’s divorce but said he wanted to provide additional context after reliving the fallout through his ex-wife’s highly anticipated memoir. While emphasizing that he takes responsibility for the pain he caused, the former pastor pushed back on several perceptions surrounding the breakup, including claims about his role as a father, the timeline of his departure from church leadership, and the involvement of his now-wife Tina.
Hatmaker also shared emotional new details about the personal spiral he experienced leading up to the affair, revealing that he struggled with depression, hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts during that season of his life.
“To be blunt, I was suicidal,” Brandon wrote. “When I met Tina, she made me feel human again. She was the first one to help me realize that I didn’t want to die…I just wanted to live better.”
In “Awake,” Jen Hatmaker recounts overhearing Brandon speaking affectionately to another woman during a late-night phone call in July 2020. She recounts hearing Brandon whisper affections to another woman on the phone at 2:30 a.m. in July 2020. According to Jen, alcohol played a role in her ex-husband’s behavior.
Breaking his silence about the incident, Brandon Hatmaker, former pastor of Austin New Church in Texas, wrote:
We are all bigger than our lowest moment. The lowest moment of my life was my very public affair five years ago. I caused so much pain and I brought so much humiliation into the lives of people that I loved. It was the culmination of a three-year personal spiral in which I had lost my anchor, felt no hope, and was the loneliest I’ve ever been in my life.
Having to relive the cheating incident via his ex-wife’s book is a “very close second” in terms of low points, Brandon said. But he emphasized he has “owned my mistakes…made amends…worked hard to restore relationships…[and] started over.”
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Although Brandon Hatmaker said his circumstances don’t excuse his actions, he wanted to provide “important distinctions” to his story—especially to protect the reputations of the church and his new wife, Tina.
Brandon Hatmaker Responds to Claims in Jen Hatmaker’s Memoir
In Monday’s post, former pastor Brandon Hatmaker, 53, said he didn’t speak out previously because he didn’t want people to think he was rationalizing his behavior. He also rejected the notion that his ex-wife’s memoir is a tell-all, saying their split is only about “five percent of the book [but] feels like it’s been 95% of the promotion.”
Jen Hatmaker has “every right to share her piece of the story,” Brandon added, but “some truths [were] left out that paint a false narrative on topics that are truly important to me.” And because “what’s left unsaid isn’t [Jen’s] responsibility to tell,” he wanted to provide “perspective” in several areas.
First, Brandon Hatmaker denied that Jen had to parent their five children alone after the divorce. “I know that I forever changed their story,” he wrote about their kids, “but I was always available, was constantly engaged, and always supported them…and still do.”
Brandon Hatmaker said his circumstances don’t excuse his actions, but he wanted to provide “important distinctions” to his story.Click to Post
