Pastor and author John Piper recently approached the subject of gender identity as he encouraged parents who don’t agree with their children’s choices, especially “when a child moves away from obedience to Jesus.”
“Communicate your love—the love that is willing and ready to go anywhere, do anything, at any cost to your life for the sake of the life of your children,” encouraged Piper during a recent podcast.
Parents Asked John Piper if They’re To Blame for Their Kids’ Gender Dysphoria
Piper leads Desiring God—a ministry focused on helping people experience “deep and abiding joy.” Unfortunately, life’s questions and struggles can easily distract people from the true source of joy.
As part of the Ask Pastor John podcast series, the Desiring God team accepts questions from listeners—covering love, politics, life, and many other topics—for Piper to seek biblical truths and attempt to answer and help guide.
Episode 2026 attempts to answer the question, “Is my child transgender because of me?”
This podcast episode begins with a bold and heartbreaking statement: “One of the great anxieties that parents face is the fear of what our own sins could do to corrupt our kids.” Along these lines, an anonymous father wrote to the podcast, briefly describing his family. He and his wife have four sons—two of whom “suffer from so-called ‘gender dysphoria.'”
“We have talked to our pastors and asked for prayer, but we feel so broken and so alone and so helpless in this season,” The listener wrote. “What do we do to fight against the despair we face every day as failed parents? How did we fail them? Please help us, Pastor John. We are so torn and heartbroken.”
Piper outlined 10 specific ways to help parents navigate the situation. One of the first things he recommended was not to “assume you’re decisively at fault.” Piper quoted Ezekiel 18:1-32 as he concluded, “We cannot draw a straight line from our own parenting to our children’s sin or righteousness.”
He also offered a perspective for all parents as they “look to the God of the impossible.” God can redeem any situation and can definitely bring good out of challenging times. Parents are encouraged to also “grieve with hope.” God gave everyone free will—parents and children alike. It can be troubling for a parent when a child decides a different pathway from what they were taught growing up. Piper referred to Job, tearing his robe in anguish at his circumstances.
Many of Piper’s suggestions centered around love—the deep love a parent has for a child. He said to “love your children on God’s terms” and be ready “to sacrifice your life while standing for what calls right and what God calls true.” While Piper offered the ideas to “Speak truth to your child” and “communicate your love,” he was sure to clarify that this in no way includes nagging or harassment. Communicate and wait.
“Pray without ceasing” was another of Piper’s suggestions to parents. Trusting God while praying is something a parent can do all day and every day—even when the circumstances are unclear.
