Leaving a church is a serious decision. It’s a decision that should be made only after much prayer and reflection. There are valid reasons, of course, for someone to leave a church. If the church, for example, ceases to be faithful in preaching and teaching God’s Word, then Christians should find a church that is. Unfortunately, though, most of the time we leave churches not because of a vitally important issue like biblical faithfulness; we instead leave churches because something—or someone—has not met our expectations.
We leave because we get disappointed.
At the risk of oversimplifying the issue, I’d offer you three basic reasons that might drive that disappointment:
1. We Forget Our Pastor Is Human.
Eugene Peterson, in reflecting on the state of the church, wrote this: “In these communities of sinners, one of the sinners is called pastor and given a designated responsibility in the community.”
We get disappointed when we forget that our pastor, like all of us, is a human being. He’s a human being that gets happy and sad. He gets angry and tired. He gets enthusiastic and energetic. And in all that humanness, he is also a sinner. He is not perfect by any stretch, and so it is unfair for us to have either the explicit or implicit expectation that he is.
We would do well to remember that these last several years, for many if not most pastors, are the most difficult and challenging they have ever faced. They have had to lead and make decisions in “no win” situation after “no win” situation. Their decisions have not been perfect because they are human beings. And when we forget that, we will inevitably be disappointed in our churches.
2. We Forget Our Fellow Church Members Are Human.
Similarly, we might forget that our fellow church members are human. It would certainly be nice if all the folks we go to church with knew the most appropriate and compassionate way to respond when we talk to them about our struggles. And it would be nice if all those people were as full of grace and mercy as we ourselves are. And it would of course be even nicer if all our fellow church members held our same views about culture, politics, and societal issues.
But they aren’t. And they don’t.
Though difficult, it seems easier most of the time to extend grace to ourselves when it comes to our shortcomings while withholding that same grace from others.
No church is perfect. No church will ever be perfect. That’s because the church is a collection of sinful human beings. When we forget that fact, we will always, always be disappointed in what happens in our churches.
3. We Forget the Real Reason We Are There.
Finally, we get disappointed in our church when we forget the real reason we are there.
Part of the reason behind that forgetfulness is the consumer mindset we often bring with us to church.
