For Christmas musicals at church, are tryouts terrible or terrific? Should you hold auditions for your children’s ministry Christmas production?
Consider the two perspectives below. Then learn helpful solutions for Sunday school Christmas programs.
Perspective #1: The Trouble With Tryouts
Competition is a fact of life, but should there be losers at church? And should children be purposely targeted so they fail?
First, let me say I’m not against standards or qualifications. And I understand contests where “the better person” wins. Often it’s necessary—and reasonable—to give the most qualified and gifted person the part, job, or honor. Sometimes we must test adults or children to evaluate their competence.
I just wonder if there’s a better way for children’s ministry Christmas programs.
Here Comes the Judge
“There are no losers here,” one kidmin worker instructed her children as they commenced another musical tryout. But there were losers. Lots of them.
Every child who tried out and failed to land the part technically “lost.” They lost self-confidence and courage to take risks. Plus, they lost face in front of their peers. Unfortunately, many children leave tryouts damaged, defeated, discouraged, and disillusioned.
Tryouts mostly damage older children. They are becoming socially aware and subject to peer comparisons. Younger children, less focused on peer evaluations, are more self-confident and willing to tackle creative risks. You may even notice more younger than older children at a tryout. Why? Because the older ones have discovered it’s better to avoid competition than to be embarrassed.
“But we’ve always been effective with our tryouts,” one children’s minister told me. “Many of our children are quite successful performers as teenagers and adults.” And he was right.
But what about the dozens (perhaps hundreds) of children who weren’t winners? Those unfortunate kids who never sang a solo, said a line, or played third base? Where are they now? Would they try out for an adult choir? Probably not. Would they play competitive softball? Not a chance. Would they risk acting in community theater? Nope.
Children learn what they live. They grow into the shoes shaped for them by parents, teachers, and other significant adults. If those shoes are pierced by negative experiences, poked with pessimism, and cracked with criticism, children will eventually walk with a limp.
Tryouts and unnecessary competitions to distinguish “better” from “best” create only negative experiences for the losers (who really aren’t losers). In the end, tryouts leach optimism, limit enthusiasm, and choke self-confidence in a child.
Choosing Sides
Adults view tryouts as opportunities to evaluate talent. Kids view them as contests to influence peers, gain respect, and enhance self-image. That’s why children sometimes cry after tryouts or consider themselves a failure. It’s not so much about performing as it is about the need to belong, have purpose, be accepted, and feel valued.
Ever see children choose teams for schoolyard kickball? The two best players (pegged by their peers) pick their teams. They snag the better players first while the lesser talent wait in the wings. Every kid knows there’s a picking order. Different games mean different selections.
This elementary method of selection seems cruel. Yet even the worst players still get to play. Even if picked dead last, every child participates. This is quite a contrast to the high-pressure, pick-or-lose tryouts run by adults and that are common to churches, schools, and community programs.
In a tryout, not everyone makes the team. Not every child lands a speaking part or sings a solo. The hidden message is that adults are more concerned with success than self-image, the performance over the person, and winning rather than learning.
Everyone knows children who never miss a practice and work hard to improve their skills but rarely play in games. Meanwhile, star players can skip those same practices yet start every contest.
Kids are wise to such situations. They learn the hidden myths (from adults) that talent is more important than hard work. Yet most adults know life’s success is due more to diligent effort than talent. Even overnight successes are years in the making. Life is filled with talented nobodies.
