20 Hilarious Quotes From Kids

quotes from kids

The weekend is fast approaching. I trust you’ve had a great week. I thought I’d share some funny quotes from kids to brighten your day as you catch your breath before the weekend begins.

Enjoy these great quotes from kids — and thank you for your heart for the next generation.

  1. I may have over-done teaching politeness to my sons. My 4yo just said, “Oh thank you,” to the automatic soap dispenser.  -Kerry
  2. me: watch Star wars with me 10: why’s he breathing like that? 5: what is he so hairy for? What is that? 7: is he a good guy or bad guy? 10: why is he wearing black? 7: that guy sounds annoying 10: is he alive still? me: I regret everything.  -dadmann
  3. My 8 year old still says “hanitizer” instead of hand sanitizer and I’m not going to be the one to correct him. -mom overboard
  4. Kid: Mom…did you know drinks spill sometimes?  Mom: Did you spill your drink? Kid: Yes. 
  5. The mailman hardly ever brings us mail. Do you think he died?  -Carsen, age 5 
  6. Jesus was in the kitchen and He said I could eat a cookie. (after being told no cookies before dinner.)
  7. Excuse me, I understand that you like taking naps.  Well, I don’t like taking naps.  Henry, age 3
  8. When I was in the backyard my sock fell off and flew over the fence. -Owen, Age 5
  9. Mommy, I wish you were my age so you could be my daughter.  -Marley, Age 5 
  10. Sometimes I like to sit in my room and listen to Taylor Swift songs and cry about all the cats that have died. -Hannah, age 6
  11. Mom, I want a hot dog. But they don’t come from dog meat, do they?  -Jace, age 5
  12. Mom:  Good morning. Do you need a hug? Eric: Actually, I need pancakes and not this hug.
  13. Fog is just clouds that have fallen down.  -Dylan, age 6
  14. As we were folding clothes, my daughter started singing, “you gotta’ know when to hold them, know when to fold them”
  15. There are 26 kids at the beach.  Then 14 more come. How many is that? Too many for Covid-19!
  16. School is better on Zoom because you can fart and no one smells it. 
  17. The cashier at a grocery store was telling my daughter how cute and well behaved she was. My daughter responded,  ‘Mommy said we can’t talk to people with bad eyebrows.'”
  18. “Upon seeing the piglets at the zoo, my son said, “Awwww,,,baby bacon.'”
  19. “While passing a gentleman with an eye patch, my toddler yelled, ‘Arghh!'”
  20. My parents just bought us a jumpoline. (trampoline)

It’s great to hear quotes from kids, but also, let me recommend these super-funny jokes for kids as you prepare to minister to children.

These quotes from kids originally appeared here, and are used by permission.

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Dale Hudson has been serving in children's ministry for over 30 years. He is an author, speaker and ministry leader.  He is the founder and director of Building Children's Ministry. BCM helps churches build strong leaders, teams and children's ministries.  (www.buildingchildrensministry.com)