Josh Howerton isn’t a fringe figure. As senior pastor of Lakepointe Church—a sprawling Southern Baptist megachurch with six campuses across the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex—he leads one of the largest evangelical congregations in Texas. He’s built his reputation on explosive church growth and bold cultural commentary that regularly attracts both praise and criticism.
So when Howerton dedicated an entire sermon to telling wives how to behave sexually, the ripple effects extended far beyond his own congregation.
It was Week 2 of a sermon series on Song of Solomon at Lake Pointe Church, and Pastor Josh Howerton had a warning for his congregation: “This is not a PG sermon. This is a PG-13 sermon.”
What followed was an hour-long message on biblical womanhood that, depending on who you ask, was either refreshingly honest discipleship or deeply problematic patriarchy wrapped in Scripture.
The sermon has sparked intense debate online—not just between Christians and non-Christians, but among Christians themselves. Because while Howerton presents his interpretation as simply “what the Bible says,” thousands of Christians who take Scripture just as seriously would strongly disagree.
So what exactly did he say? And why does it matter?
Howerton’s Core Message: Four Traits of Godly Wife
Preaching from Song of Solomon 1, Howerton laid out four characteristics of “a woman of God”:
1. A woman of God is a sexual blessing to her husband
Wives should be the sexual initiators and aggressors in marriage, understanding that “for men, physical connection leads to emotional connection.”
2. A woman of God chooses godly friends
Women need mentors from older generations, not “wind-down Wednesday, pagan, sleigh-girl, Sex and the City, Swifty friends.”
3. A woman of God knows how to fish
Single women should dress modestly and look for husbands in church, not bars or Tinder. “If you fish with junk bait, you’re going to catch junk fish.”
4. A woman of God honors her husband
Wives must prioritize husbands over children, avoid being “quarrelsome,” and use their words to make their husbands feel like kings.
Throughout the message, Howerton emphasized what he calls the biblical teaching on marriage: “Husbands are called to be the loving head of the home” while “the wife is called to be the respectful helper.”
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He quoted 1 Peter 3:1: “Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands.”
His defense? “We are word of God people here and we just believe all of God’s commands are a blessing to us.”
The Complementarian Framework
What Howerton preached is called complementarianism—the belief that men and women are “equal in value but different in function,” with men holding ultimate authority in marriage and church leadership.
This view is held by denominations like the Southern Baptist Convention, the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA), many non-denominational evangelical churches, and organizations like The Gospel Coalition and the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
Key complementarian beliefs about marriage:
- Husbands have final decision-making authority (though they should lead lovingly)
- Wives are called to submit to their husbands‘ leadership
- These roles reflect the Trinity (the Son submits to the Father despite being equal)
- Gender roles are God’s design from creation, not cultural constructs
- Sexual intimacy is primarily the wife’s responsibility to initiate/provide
Prominent complementarian voices: John Piper, Wayne Grudem, Al Mohler, Matt Chandler, and increasingly, younger pastors like Howerton who present these views with contemporary language and cultural references.
