While acknowledging the challenges of being single, married couple Jackie Hill Perry and Preston Perry warn Christians not to get impatient and settle for relationships with non-Christians. They also say it’s “dangerous to have faith that God is going to come along and save” your non-Christian partner.
Jackie Hill Perry, an author, Bible teacher and poet, is a former lesbian. Her book “Gay Girl Good God” describes how God helped her overcome homosexuality. Preston Perry is a Christian performing artist.
Jackie Hill Perry, Preston Perry Tell Singles They Are ‘Not Alone’
The Perrys, who speak candidly about relationships, admit the “loneliness piece” of being single is tough. Jackie describes her initial experiences after leaving lesbianism, when she had no one to text or hang out with. “It was uncomfortable for me to come to Jesus and just be without anybody to talk to,” she says.
Preston describes his dating challenges before he met Jackie. One relationship fizzled because the woman claimed to be a Christian but wasn’t committed to the lifestyle. Then Preston had to end a relationship with a non-Christian woman because “we couldn’t stay pure” and “I wanted to be holy.”
Loneliness, say the Perrys, can tempt singles to settle for a non-Christian partner. “A lot of singles are just like: ‘You know what? I don’t have time to wait on a man or a woman who is a Christian,” says Jackie. “So let me go ahead and open up my world to non-Christians because I’ll have more options.’”
Preston adds, “God has somebody that he has uniquely designed that will be perfect for you. But our lack of patience, we want to date someone who checks off all of these boxes except following Jesus.”
Instead of viewing singleness as a season of “punishment,” he recommends seeing it as a time of protection. “I think we have to be reminded that ‘No, God really is good by his very nature, good and sovereign and kind and that he’s with me, that I’m not alone in my singleness.’”
Perrys: Being Yoked With Unbelievers Is Spiritually Risky
“I think for a Christian to intentionally choose someone who doesn’t know Jesus,” says Preston Perry, “you’re probably not weighing…all of the spiritual implications and all of the difficulties that that might bring.” Being “unequally yoked” (2 Corinthians 6:14) is “dangerous,” he adds, “because it’s going to create a whole different set of problems.” Throughout life’s ups and downs, Preston advises singles, “you’re going to want to be with somebody who knows Jesus.”