Woman Asks John Piper’s Advice on Dealing With Man Who Says God Wants Her To Marry Him

During a recent episode of “Ask Pastor John,” author and Bible teacher John Piper addressed a young woman’s dilemma about a persistent suitor at her church. The man insists that it is God’s will for the pair to marry, despite the woman’s request that he leave her alone.

The anonymous woman asked Piper for “a God-honoring way to address a church situation like this, when someone is convinced they know God’s will for you, and you disagree with them.” Piper, founder of Desiring God, responded with five suggestions, from praying and trusting Scripture to intervention and restraint.

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In her letter to Piper, the woman explained that soon after she joined a new church, “a guy I barely knew asked me out on a date, and I declined without feeling any regret then or since.” Months later, she added, “he’s still convinced that we are meant to be together, to the point that he corners me after church events to reiterate that I’m exactly the wife he’s prayed for.”

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Although the woman doesn’t want to hurt the man’s feelings, she also described being “mystified and a little angered by the way he treats me and his insistence that this is God’s will.” She has “asked him to leave me alone” and is willing to “draw others in as needed in the church” to address the difficult situation.

Piper’s first recommendation was that the woman trust God and “ask him to intervene in this situation in a way that will protect you spiritually and physically and will help this man think and feel in a more mature and biblical and discerning way.” The longtime pastor provided several Bible verses for the woman to pray about in trust.

Next, Piper suggested explaining to the man that the revealed Word of God is the only way to test claims about knowing God’s will. “If he thinks that he has an infallible insight into God’s will for you, he’s not thinking biblically,” Piper said of the unwanted suitor.

John Piper: Church Leaders May Need To Step In

Piper’s third suggestion was that the woman urge the man to seek counsel from pastors and other church leaders. “If he’s thinking in a biblical way, he will be glad for their input,” he said. “If he’s resistant to the counsel of the church leaders or other wise friends, then he’s showing that he’s not walking in the truth.”