Finally, TerKeurst encouraged the woman not to romanticize what she has lost. TerKeurst shared that she has a friend who is currently separated and going through a divorce. “Her husband,” who was unfaithful, “folds their towels in a very distinct way,” said TerKeurst. At one point, the friend “opened up her bathroom cabinet, and she was down to the last two towels that he folded, and it caught her off guard, and it just made her weep.”
The friend called TerKeurst and told her, “I’m having this overwhelming sense of grief over the towels.”
“I understand that, because what you’re walking through is a death,” TerKeurst told her friend. “It’s the death of your marriage, and there will be intense seasons of grief.”
“But also part of what you’re going to be tempted to do is you’re going to be tempted to romanticize those folded towels,” TerKeurst continued. “So you’ve got to interject reality back into those folded towels.”
TerKeurst instructed her friend to go look at the towels and remind herself of the truth, which is that while the husband was folding the towels in that particular way, he likely could have been making plans with his mistress. In fact, the husband’s mistress probably has towels folded like that at her house.
“You cannot go and paint pictures of Egypt when God has delivered you from Egypt,” said TerKeurst, referring to the numerous times the Israelites complained to God and longed to go back to Egypt after he had rescued them from slavery.
“The first step is to stop romanticizing that this folding of the towels was him doing this great act of love for you, because the reality of what was actually happening—it was not,” said TerKeurst. “Second thing is, I want you to start thinking about how you want your towels folded.”
“The point is that this is your season, not to sit back and romanticize what you’ve lost, but [to] step into reality and trust that God’s going to meet you right there,” TerKeurst said. “Mental health is a commitment to reality at all costs. Yeah, there’s a cost to it. But if you want to stay safe and sane in a situation like that, you’ve got to face what is real, and what is real is where you’re going to find healing.”
Those interested in hearing from Lysa TerKeurst on her Trust Again Tour can find tour dates here.
