12 of the Weirdest Church Bylaws Ever Written

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Sometimes reading a church’s bylaws feels like stepping into the twilight zone.

  • Some are long—very long.

  • Some are irrelevant.

  • Some are just plain weird.

Curious, I asked my Twitter followers to share the strangest bylaw provisions they’d seen. These are actual church bylaws—not just policy rules. The responses did not disappoint.

Here are my 12 favorites.

1. No Colored Drinks Allowed

Especially red Kool-Aid. (Apparently, some members were sneaking it in flasks!)

2. Active Membership = One Penny a Year

If you give at least one cent annually, you count as active. (This would cut Baptist rolls in half!)

3. Strict Rules for the Church Van

The bylaws have detailed guidelines for the church van—but the church doesn’t actually own one. (Maybe time to add an “Uber amendment.”)

4. Communion Dress Code

Men serving communion must wear a coat and tie. Strangely, pants aren’t required.

5. At Least Five Deacons

The church must have five deacons minimum, even though it only has 20 members. (What if one candidate is a preschooler?)

6. No Cassette Sales

Selling cassettes is banned. But apparently, 8-tracks and vinyl records are still fine.

7. Glitter-Free Zone

No glitter allowed in the church. (I might boycott this one!)

8. No Secret Societies

Church members cannot belong to any secret society. Does that include Democrats and Republicans?

9. Alcohol Only at Communion

No drinking alcohol—except during the Lord’s Supper. No wonder it’s always a high-attendance day!

10. No Paintings for Sale

Selling paintings is prohibited on church property. (Apparently, a rampant problem.)

11. No Attending With Diarrhea

If you’re sick, stay home. (Honestly, that’s probably a good policy for everyone.)

12. No Assigned Pew Seats

No one can have an assigned pew. But you’re welcome to bring your own chair.

Your Turn

Have you seen any strange or funny church bylaws? Share your stories—or give your prayerful insights into these 12 unusual rules.

Church life is serious, but sometimes… the bylaws bring a little comic relief.

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thomrainer@churchleaders.com'
Thom Rainerhttps://churchanswers.com/
Thom S. Rainer is the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources (LifeWay.com). Among his greatest joys are his family: his wife Nellie Jo; three sons, Sam, Art, and Jess; and six grandchildren. He was founding dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evangelism, and Church Growth at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. His many books include Surprising Insights from the Unchurched, The Unexpected Journey, and Breakout Churches.

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