This is a guest post by David Murray, author of Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture. The post first appeared on Crossway.org; used with permission.

Good Intentions Can’t Save You From Burnout

I love energetic, ambitious, zealous young Christian men. What a gift to the church they are! And I want them to do whatever their vocation leads them to do—go for it. However, there are dangers if you make unwise choices.

What we don’t realize when we’re young is that we all have a limited amount of life fuel. And we can either expend all of it in the first decade of our working life and and then suffer for the rest of it, or we can pace ourselves, being refueled along the way as well. It’s something I wish I’d learned when I was younger that if you pace yourself, it’s not that you’re being lazy, it’s that you’re being wise.

Don’t Spend All Your Life Fuel in One Place

I think that the first thing is: You recognize that you’ve got a limited amount of fuel, and either you spend it all quickly or you spread it out and you have a much longer life of usefulness.

You Can’t Rewind

The second thing is, if you choose to go down the first path of going for it 110 percent, you are damaging yourself. I damaged myself physically—I ended up in the ER twice with blood clots in my lungs due to the many years of living in the midst of far too much, far too long and far too fast. There are some things you can’t rewind when you’ve damaged yourself.

Set Healthy Patterns Early

And the third thing is that you’re setting patterns. Even though I know that I can no longer live at that pace, I’ve had decades now of living at that pace setting a default for my life that I keep going back to. It’s such a battle to resist.

You must trust God. You may think, “Oh, well, if I don’t do this, then so-and-so will get ahead of me!” or “l want to do this.” Live within God-ordained limits and trust God to bless your life and your career and to open the doors without you having to charge them down.

Be sure to take a look at Crossway’s burnout infographic for more statistics related to this important (yet neglected) issue.

Few models exist on how to handle the moral failure of a staff person. Indeed, there is little consensus among pastors about what to do, even with something as explicit as adultery. In a recent survey, LifeWay Research asked pastors, “If a pastor commits adultery, how long, if at all, should the pastor withdraw from public ministry?” As you will see, the answers vary greatly.

Surprisingly, 1 in 4 pastors (not church members) are unsure of how long a pastor should withdraw from ministry after committing adultery. As the above figure demonstrates, about 1 in 5 pastors believe withdrawing for a year is wise. But another 1 in 4 pastors believe permanent withdrawal from ministry is the best option. A few even believe three months or less is appropriate. If a pastor is dealing with the moral failure of a staff person and calls peers for advice, the likelihood is high those peers are going to give widely different answers. How can a pastor have discernment in such a situation?

The Path Forward After a Moral Failure

How should you discern a plan of action following the moral failure of a staff person? Obviously, you handle a staff person struggling with gluttony differently than a situation involving adultery. The following questions will help you determine a path forward with a staff person after a moral failure.

What is the degree of offense? Avoid making quick decisions if possible. When leaders make emotional decisions, the repercussions are often not good. Take the necessary time to understand the entire situation. Too many leaders make the mistake of finalizing decisions without hearing from all of the involved parties. When analyzing the situation, no leader should act alone. When staff moral failures occur, leaders need the advice of trusted counselors within the church and outside the church.

Does the staff person deny it or not? Allegations of a moral failure are much different than an admission of a moral failure! A majority of pastors (73 percent) believe allegations should be kept in confidence with church leaders during an investigation. If the staff person denies the allegations of a moral failure, the path forward must include an investigation. You should meet with the accuser and the staff person, separately first, and you should not meet with them alone. Bring in the elders, the personnel committee or whatever group helps oversee the staff. If no such group exists, then bring in a couple of other trusted church leaders.

What is the level of remorse? If the staff person admits to the moral failure, then you should discern the level of remorse. When a broken staff person is ready to repent, then the process should include much grace. When a staff person is defiant, then the process should include firm discipline.

What are the church’s policies and/or covenant? Many churches have clear guidelines detailing the process of working through a moral failure. Many churches also have a covenant for pastors and staff, which helps provide biblical support for the process of discipline or reconciliation. Before you move forward with a plan, make sure you understand the guidelines in the church’s policies, as well as any covenantal requirements of staff.

Leading Your Church to Heal

When a staff person has a moral failure, you must not only have a plan for the guilty individual but also the church. Both the staff person and the church need a path forward toward healing. First, you must tell the truth. The church should know about the moral failure. It is impossible to heal unless you know what hurt you. There is no need to share all the details, or even the other parties involved, but the church should understand the big picture of what happened. Second, if you are the lead pastor, then you must teach about healing. Put the current sermon series on hold and focus on teaching your church about healing. Third, it is important to spend time with people, especially those most affected by the moral failure. Put your vision on hold. The season of healing from a moral failure is not the time to launch new endeavors.

The hurt may last for a while. The pain may feel intolerable. You may even be tempted to go to another ministry just to get away from the situation. But leading your church to heal is paramount. Churches facing this type of pain need their pastors to own the situation and demonstrate the grace of Christ. One day, Jesus will remedy all the pain. Lead your church to believe it.

This article originally appeared here.

There is a lot of conversation these days (mostly on digital platforms) about writers, publishing and platform. The conversation has been stimulating and thought-provoking in some ways and unhelpful, I think, in other ways. Mostly, it seems, that some are frustrated about the difficulty of getting published and the demands publishers make and the reality that writers who have bigger audiences are often favored over those with smaller audiences.

How should Christian writers think about these things? I have a few observations. These are not “thus saith the Lord,” but more “here is Dan’s opinion,” which, if you add $5 will allow you to purchase a small caffeinated beverage:

1) Let’s admit it is ironic to publish complaints about platforms and celebrity evangelicals. Most of the discussion about evangelicals and platform happens…on platforms. I’ve always wondered: Someone who tweets these complaints, does he or she hope they are read, are retweeted or are shared? And if so, would that make such a person a celebrity? What are the hopes for a podcast or blog lamenting the “evangelical celebrity complex”? Do you hope that some people read it but not too many, for that might make you a celebrity? I’m being sarcastic here, but we do have to acknowledge that the very act of pressing “send” on a tweet or Facebook post or blog post is an act of publishing. And inherent in an act of publishing is the idea that you have an idea you think is worth sharing with a wider audience than yourself. There is also an acknowledgment of privilege, however small, of the audience who will read it and the resources to do the publishing in the first place. That doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be critiques of the way Christian publishers make choices (see below), but let’s acknowledge our own desires to be published and be heard and…yes…have platforms.

2) Let’s acknowledge that to publish and be published is a gift and not an entitlement. I have not always lived this out perfectly, but in my own career I have tried to have an attitude of gratitude toward publications and publishers. We writers, because we believe we have a message worth sharing (good), can often come to believe that we are entitled to be published (not good) and that any rejection or editing is because of some bias or conspiracy or incompetence on the part of the publisher. Those systemic issues can exist, but it doesn’t mean we are owed a byline. For a publisher to lend their name behind my work and give me a platform is a gift. Nobody owes me that.

3) Let’s acknowledge that sometimes publishers make decisions based on less than noble reasons. I get books in my office every single day from publishers. Some of what comes across my desk is amazing and helpful and creative content that really benefits the body of Christ. I have been personally discipled by good books and I’ve used good books to personally disciple others. I thank God for the embarrassment of riches that is Christian publishing. However, some of what comes across my desk is ridiculous content packaged to make money off of someone’s fame. Books that have no business being published. Publishers have a difficult a task (see below) in deciding what to publish. There are times when it seems those decisions are made less on the quality of a writer’s work and more on the size of an author/celebrity platform. But to be fair, publishers have to walk a tightrope (more on that below) of profitability and mission. Sometimes they get it right. Sometimes they get it wrong.

4) Let’s acknowledge that sometimes would-be authors don’t get published for good reasons. It’s still pretty difficult to get a publishing contract. You have to have an agent. You have to have some kind of discernible audience. You have to be a good writer. You have to have an idea that is just creative enough to fit into a publisher’s publishing schedule and yet not too outside-the-box that it violates a publisher’s mission and alienates their core audience of buyers. Unless you self-publish, there are a lot of obstacles to getting a book contract. I think this is good. The hurdles to publishing have made me a much better writer. I’ve had to go back and get better, to learn the craft, to keep writing in smaller venues, and to be willing to hear substantive critique of my work. Today, it seems, there is less patience with this and less trust of gatekeepers, partly, I think, because it has become so easy to publish on our own: Blogs are easy to start up, Facebook and Twitter have us publishing regularly, and there are way more online outlets. You can even quickly self-publish via Amazon. But I am old-school enough to be grateful for the hurdles: for the years I spent writing for an organization without seeing my work good enough to be published in leading magazines, for the rejection letters (back when you had to send query letters and self-addressed stamped envelopes to periodicals), for the seasoning of life that produced a deeper well from which to write, and the maturity (still working on that) to temper my opinions.

5) Let’s acknowledge the difficult decisions publishers have to make. A publisher who commits to a book commits quite a bit of money to get a book on the shelf: lots of resources, lots of staff time, reputations, etc. They don’t always get their investment back. Every book is a risk. If and when a publisher decides to take a risk on me, I need to be grateful. And if they don’t, I need to be humble enough to understand why and not presume bad motives or malice. Also, Christian publishers are in the business for the mission of Christian publishing, but they are also in the business to make a profit. Some capitalism is greedy. Not all capitalism is greedy. Even as you hope your book does well and helps you financially, remember that publishers also want to be in the black at the end of their fiscal year. The editors and marketing people and staff like to get paid and have health insurance for their family as much as you do and as much as I do. So while profitability shouldn’t be the only criteria for publishing decisions, it is one important criteria and that’s OK.

6) Let’s attempt to discern between a platform-building that is sinful and a godly ambition that is good. There is a kind of platform-building and an encouragement of platform-building that is sinful and antithetical to the gospel. A kind of soul-less self-promotion and a desire to be “something” and find validation in the affirmation of the crowds. This is a temptation that affects all of us in this digital age. In a sense, everyone with a social media profile is a celebrity of sorts, even within their own tribe. I think this temptation is more acute for those of us called to more public gifts and ministries. We need to fight this every day by dying to ourselves and living for Jesus. We also need people in our lives who remind us that we are actually not a big deal. Much of this can be done by involvement in a good local church and small group with people who don’t really care that Matt Chandler retweeted you because they don’t know who Matt Chandler even is. If you have kids, you will experience several opportunities, every day, to be thoroughly humbled and embarrassed! We should fight the desire to be something. We should remember that we will one day die, the work of the kingdom will go on, and most people will not remember our names.

However, there is an ambition that is not sinful. We should not confuse the above fame-seeking with a genuine desire to serve the body of Christ with our gifts. A willingness to serve—via our writing or speaking or preaching—is a good thing (1 Timothy 3:1). We should strive, in whatever vocation we are called, to do things with excellence to glorify God (Colossians 3:23). For some, these gifts will result in a wide audience. If God allows this to faithful servants, this should not be seen as bad, but good. We should not be jealous of someone else’s platform or ascribe motives to them we are not sure exist (1 Corinthians 13:7). We should also not fault publishers for asking the question of authors: “You have a good message, but is there an existing audience who has heard this message and received it?”

So how do we combat the corrosive, sinful platform-seeking above and earnestly steward our gifts in a way that honors God? I don’t have any concrete answers except to say this:

• always be wary of our temptation toward narcissism and be willing to repent of it as it appears
• hold our opportunities and platforms loosely and let the Lord guide our steps
• be quick to promote and commend others’ work
• say thank-you, repeatedly, to those who give us the opportunity to apply our gifts
• be always learning, growing, changing
• spend time offline, in community, and with the Lord in silence and meditation
• don’t be afraid of seasons of obscure, but faithful, gospel work

This article originally appeared here.

There’s a long, straight stretch of newly paved road in Bentonville near my home. It was gravel, and now it’s asphalt, and it’s a quick shortcut to town. Except it already isn’t quick because as soon as it was paved, a 30 mph speed limit was placed on it.

Personally, I think 30 mph is a dumb rule on a long, empty, straight, newly paved road (I’m thinking 45-ish). But I’m technically bound to obey this law, and I can neither confirm nor deny whether I fully obey this law at all times…

Laws create two predicaments for us. On the one hand, we are bound to obey them. And on the other, because of our sin nature, we are always tempted, and likely, to break them.

Paul wrote about this:

When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death.

– Romans 7:5 NLT

Paul even spent several chapters laying out a rather clear indictment against us.

The world around us is governed by law and order as well, both in a technical sense (do the crime = do the time) and in a practical sense (people expect for everything to remain “even”).

We sin because of our inherited sinful nature, and as long as we live under the law and under God’s rules, we’re bound to fail because of that sinful nature. We are lawbreakers.

And God has a better way.

God saw us in our predicament and sent His Son Jesus to die for our sins, to free us from sin’s penalty and its power over us. When we trust in Jesus, we’re given a new nature along with freedom from the law.

It’s not that we get to live reckless and lawless lives now. Rather, it’s that the law is no longer the instrument God uses to measure our righteousness. Now, it’s whether or not we’ve embraced Jesus that matters.

Life under the rule and reign of grace is radically different than life under the rule of law. Just listen to how Paul spells out the results of living under grace:

For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.

– Romans 5:17 NLT

And again,

So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

– Romans 5:21 NLT

And more,

Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

– Romans 6:14 NLT

And even more,

Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.

– Romans 7:6 NLT

Living under the rule and reign of grace doesn’t mean I get to do whatever my sinful nature wants to do.

It means I get to do, with abundant freedom, what my new nature wants to do, and my new nature that I received when I became a Christ-follower wants to please God.

Here’s the thing. Some Christians are guilty of replacing the tyranny of the law with new and different laws.

We substitute rules where God wants to give grace. We remain slaves to the performance evaluation when God’s desire is to give us grace and freedom.

And we actually think that the rules will motivate us to be righteous.

God’s way is better.

Receive salvation through Jesus. Become righteous through Jesus. Live in freedom from all condemnation through Jesus. Skip the performance evaluation and cling to Jesus. Acknowledge your inability to get it right and trust the One who makes it right.

Life in the Spirit, under grace, is the only way to really, really live.

This article originally appeared here.

This morning, my husband and I prayed together with our kids. Before we walked out the door, we looked into each other’s eyes, and we kissed. Later, at lunch time, we had a significant discussion about personal priorities for our finances. No one shouted or cried or clammed up. We also discussed our church. No one shouted or cried or clammed up. This evening, we ate dinner as a family. We laughed a lot. I did the dishes. He paid bills in the family room. After the kids were in bed, the two of us ended the day by reading side-by-side on the couch.

Ours is the story of a happy marriage.

We owe this to the grace and mercy of our Lord. And one of his loving means has been our place in the church.

When yet another pastor falls publicly into grievous, soul-bruising, family-destroying sin, the onlookers can quickly line up to blame life in the church. I have read many articles in recent months that claim ministry life makes pastors and their wives inherently lonely or hypocritical or distracted or vulnerable to sin or prone to cracking from stress. The cumulative message is clear: when failure happens, it’s the church’s fault.

I know that ministry life can bring unique, and sometimes intense, challenges to family life. (See: this entire blog.) I know that there are neither perfect churches nor perfect pastors nor perfect pastors’ wives. Sin is a many-tentacled monster that can drag us toward death from many directions at once.

But I also know firsthand the privilege of a ministry marriage.

And I worry that an endless litany of blame-the-ministry could cause faithful pastors and their wives to view the local church as their marriage’s enemy rather than its best ally.

The Prayers of Many 

I can’t count the number of times our church has publicly prayed for us and for our marriage. Sunday mornings from the pulpit. Wednesday nights in church prayer meeting. Tuesday mornings at Bible study. The people of God are regularly and specifically praying for us to have a loving, faithful, and happy marriage.

These prayers are the arms of Aaron and Hur, holding up our marriage whenever it grows weary. They are an offensive weapon against Satan, cutting down temptation before it begins. And they are an open invitation to corporate rejoicing, allowing “the many” to “give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many” (2 Cor. 1:11).

The Good 

In church life, we are surrounded by couples who are thriving in their marriages—loving one another, serving God, and pursuing faithfulness. We watch them work and worship together. And we see God’s grace to them when trials come.

Ministry life has taken us to hospital beds and death beds, to moving trucks and waiting rooms, to drought-plagued farms and hard-hit small businesses. We have seen marriages walk through the sea billows and come out singing “it is well.”

These couples are our cloud of witnesses: cheering us on, handing us cups of cool water, and pointing us to the same Christ who is also at work in them.

The Ugly 

We have also watched marriages die. Too many times, we have cried together for a church couple who didn’t make it, who met the end in a dingy courtroom stacked with allegations. And we have doubled-over in fear and grief and anger for all the sins that led them there.

But even the ugly is a grace for my marriage. Having seen the multi-car pile-up beside the road, I resolve to drive more cautiously. Having watched the house next door burn to the ground, I check the batteries on my smoke detectors. Having witnessed a friend falling off the cliff, I back away from its jagged edge.

Thanks be to God.

God’s Gracious Constraints 

The blame-the-ministry posts are correct when they observe that ministry life comes with plenty of constraints. People are watching you. You have demands on your time. At every moment, you are expected to act like a Christian. True.

Those constraints are God’s grace.

Because of the ministry, I must speak kindly to and about my husband. I must serve God alongside him. I must set an example for younger Christians. I must surround myself with more mature Christians. I must submit myself to the direction of the elders. I must show up twice every Sunday to worship God with him.

And aren’t those the very things my marriage needs?

I cannot say what my marriage would be like if my husband were not a pastor. I have only the life God has given. But I do know this: ministry life is, by God’s kind intent, good for my marriage.

This article originally appeared here.

NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED IN THE AUDITORIUM! I’ve seen such messages emblazoned in the lobbies of many churches where I’ve attended or where I’ve served. In one church we allowed food and coffee in the auditorium. Yet, I was often miffed at how many stains our carpets incurred from coffee spills and donut smudges. The carpet looked terrible. We’d often pay extra for carpet cleaners to clean them. Since I don’t drink coffee, I secretly wished we hadn’t allowed anything in the auditorium except people. But apparently I’ve been very wrong to want that. Coffee stains and donut smudges may have actually helped my sermon be more successful.

I’ll average 15-20 hours preparing a sermon, praying that God will use it to change lives. I’ve prayed that with the Spirit’s help the message would persuade others to live more like Jesus. Often I’ve wondered to what degree my message actually stuck in the listeners’ minds and hearts. Surprisingly, the number of stains may actually have indicated my sermon’s stickiness.

Some time back a Yale University study examined how eating and drinking influences a message’s persuasiveness (Janis et al., 1965). College student volunteers first filled out a questionnaire about their views on certain subjects. Researchers then presented them with four unpopular or unlikely views like, “It will be over 25 years before a cure to cancer is found.” The students then read articles that attempted to persuade them otherwise. One group of students was offered Pepsi and peanuts while they read the articles while the other group wasn’t offered any food. Later they completed a second questionnaire about their views on the same subjects.

The Pepsi-peanuts group consistently changed their viewpoints on those issues to more favorable ones. The non-food students’ viewpoints changed very little.

The implication?

When others eat food or drink coffee while they listen to your sermon, it may actually make your message stick better. So, paying a few extra dollars to clean those coffee stains and donut smudges may be worth the price. Perhaps we should actually encourage people to bring food into the service.

What is your church’s policy on food in the auditorium?

References:Janis, I.L., Kaye, D. & Kirschner, P. (1965) Facilitating effects of ‘eating-while-reading’ on responsiveness to persuasive communications. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1 (2), pp.181-186.

This article originally appeared here.