2. We’re conflict-avoidant
We know Susan isn’t ready to lead, but she’s been here forever and removing her would cause a fight. So we leave her in place, make excuses for her behavior, and hope she doesn’t do too much damage.
The fix: Have the hard conversation. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Yes, she might leave. But leadership isn’t about keeping the peace—it’s about protecting the flock. And every day you leave an immature person in leadership, you’re teaching your congregation that character doesn’t actually matter.
3. We’ve lowered the bar
We’ve redefined leadership as “volunteers who show up” instead of “disciples who are growing.” We measure success by slots filled rather than lives changed. We care more about organizational charts than spiritual maturity.
The fix: Raise the bar. Make the qualifications clear. Require leaders to be in the Word, in community, in service, and growing. And when someone doesn’t meet the standard, tell them the truth in love: “You’re not ready yet. But here’s how you can grow toward readiness.”
A Real Story of Growth
Let me tell you about Mike. Mike was angry, controlling, and quick to fight when he didn’t get his way. He’d been on the church board for years—not because he was qualified, but because no one else wanted to do it.
One day, after Mike exploded in a meeting and stormed out, the pastor called him. Not to placate him. Not to apologize. But to tell him the truth: “Mike, I love you. But the way you handled that meeting disqualified you from leadership. You can’t serve on the board anymore.”
Mike was furious. He threatened to leave the church. He accused the pastor of being power-hungry and unforgiving.
But the pastor stood firm. “You’re welcome to stay. You’re welcome to serve in other ways. But leadership requires maturity, and you’re not there yet. If you want to grow toward it, I’ll walk with you. But I won’t put you back in leadership until I see the fruit.”
Mike did leave. For three months.
