How Leaders Become Controlling and How to Break the Pattern

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Start with one category this week:

  • One decision you will stop owning

  • One person you will equip instead of control

  • One outcome you will define, then release

Faith is not letting go of standards. Faith is letting go of the illusion that you are the only one who can uphold them.

2. A History of Failure

Some leaders become controlling because they’ve been burned.

They delegated before and it went poorly. They trusted someone who dropped the ball. They watched a ministry or project collapse. So they conclude, “Never again.”

Control feels safer.

But control is not safety. It’s a slow bleed.

What it looks like

  • You assume mistakes are inevitable, so you prevent ownership.

  • You treat delegation like risk, not development.

  • You stay “in the weeds” because you’re convinced it will all fall apart without you.

What to do instead

Use failure as a teacher, not a prison.

Instead of reacting with control, strengthen the system:

  • Set clear roles and expectations

  • Build feedback loops

  • Define decision rights (who decides what)

  • Train people before you transfer ownership

If you never allow others to carry weight, you will always carry it. That’s not leadership. That’s exhaustion.

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Ron Edmondsonhttp://www.ronedmondson.com/
Ron Edmondson is a pastor and church leader passionate about planting churches, helping established churches thrive, and assisting pastors and those in ministry think through leadership, strategy and life. Ron has over 20 years of ministry experience.

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