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How to Have Righteous Anger Like Jesus

Loving anger is always focused on eliminating the sin while drawing close to the person. It should feel like an invitation to fellowship, not an execution of vengeance.

2. Righteous anger is controlled and develops slowly.

When Paul tells us to “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31), he’s talking about avoiding that state where you feel consumed by anger—whether that comes out aggressively through shouting or passively through slander.

The book of Proverbs says a lot about anger; it doesn’t, however, counsel “no anger” so much as slow anger: “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty” (Proverbs 16:32). It tells us that getting angry quickly rarely has a good effect: “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins” (Proverbs 29:22 NIV). Rather than quick and reflexive outbursts, it counsels us to respond with patience: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Proverbs 19:11 says, “It is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Sometimes the best thing to do with a wrong done to you is let it go—that is your glory and will diffuse a lot of anger.

3. Righteous anger is short-lived.

You confront the person for the wrong and then commit the injustice to God and let him deal with it. Then you can go to sleep an unburdened person, and the sun has not gone down on your anger like we are commanded in Ephesians 4:26.

When my wife and I got married, we tried to put this verse into practice a little too mechanically. We said, “Let’s never go to bed until we have everything resolved.” And all that did was just to lead us to a few sleepless nights, because even after we talked about the issue, one of us would still be angry because the other didn’t see things their way.

This verse, however, is not talking so much about resolving all your interpersonal issues every day before sunset. (After all, resolving conflict takes two parties, and sometimes the best way to resolve a conflict is to be patient.) No, Paul’s words here aren’t primarily about handling disagreements swiftly. They’re more about an attitude you take into your disagreements, where you don’t carry the burden of settling the score or even getting the other person to see things your way. You can confront the wrong and then go to bed and leave vengeance to God.

In Matthew 21, right after Jesus drove the moneychangers out of the Temple with whips, verse 14 says the lame and the sick came to him. He didn’t scare people away with his anger but was just as approachable after his anger as before. Why? Because his anger wasn’t an explosive character flaw. It was focused, redemptive and short-lived.

Is that what happens right after you are angry? If not, what better time is there than today to take your sinful anger to God and ask him to transform it?

This article originally appeared here.