It’s a bold statement to say that a holy marriage is a happy marriage. Read this article to find out why.
One of the kindest words God has ever spoken to me is the word “no.”
One of God’s most effective tools to preserve my freedom and keep me out of spiritual slavery is when God says, “Don’t.”
Spoken by a supremely loving, all-wise, heavenly father who wants me to enjoy the abundant life, “no” and “don’t” are loving words, merciful words, and grace-filled words.
The great evangelist John Wesley explained why when he said no one is truly happy who is not pursuing holy. Think about it: have you ever met a truly happy addict? He may have moments of pleasure, but those illicit moments usher in much more misery, long-term. Addiction is an excruciating exercise in frustration, where you increasingly give ever more of yourself to get less and less pleasure until you don’t even like yourself very much anymore.
Have you ever known a happy man whose anger is out of control? Isn’t he miserable, destroying his closest relationships and pushing out any real chance of true intimacy and joy?
Have you ever known a woman who is negative or materialistic to be happy? Isn’t she always frustrated, disappointed, cursing under her breath, never getting to that happy place of contentment where she can breathe a sigh of satisfaction and truly rest in “enough?”
Holy leads us to happy. Holy protects happy. That’s why a holy marriage is a happy marriage.
But pursuing happy for its own sake is to risk making unholy choices, which in the end undercuts our happiness.
A culture largely removed from a serious pursuit of God doesn’t even understand that pursuing happiness first is in one sense settling for less. Happiness is wonderful, but a life based on God’s presence, glory, and love is more wonderful still. The good news is, we don’t have to choose! We can advance beyond happiness to the God-centered life we are meant to live.
This is why singles seeking a partner and married people who already have a partner need to rethink their priorities about what they want out of a happy marriage. If you’re pursuing what will make you happy at the expense of holy, you’re more likely to miss happy. If you pursue holiness, you’re far more likely to arrive at a happy marriage. Find a life partner who inspires you toward Christ-likeness and you’ll find the person who is most likely to make you happy.
