One of the most frustrating things about being a pastor is responding to the negative people in church. Thankfully, I deal with this less often the longer I am with the church. In the established church, most of our negativity comes from a few people. When I was in church planting, it came from outside our church. Either way, dealing with negative people in church has been a huge part of my work. I talk with pastors every week who tell me they have large groups of people who are always negative about something they are doing.
I have learned—when a church reaches genuinely hurting people, when people in the church lead messy lives, when the church actually begins to reach such people or simply when change comes to reach people—the complainers will rise—often among the most religious of people.
And when these type of people talk, their negative energy spreads fast.
As Jesus taught His disciples how to build the church, a chief command was to love people no one else loved. Since they were to love even their enemies, this included loving people when they were not very lovely. Even negative people in church. (That’s a hard command sometimes, isn’t it?)
I have tried to lead a church with this philosophy. Along the way I have discovered what Jesus experienced in working with religious leaders in His day.
With this in mind, how do we respond to negative people in church — and remain negative toward reaching people for Christ?
What do you do with constant negativity toward the mission God has called you to?
Dealing With Negative People in Church
1. Filter Negative Talk.
Ask yourself if what they are saying lines up with truth. Is it true? If not, dismiss it quickly so it won’t begin to control you. When you own falsehood about yourself or the church, you validate the person offering it. And you fuel them for further negativity about you or the church.
2. Learn When Necessary.
We should not refuse to listen to any criticism. There is an element of truth in most criticism, even among things you need to ultimately dismiss. Let’s not be arrogant. Be humble and teachable always.
3. Surround Yourself With Some Positive People.
Some people are negative about everything and would never encourage anyone. That’s the reality of working with people. Every leader needs to find a core of people who can encourage them to walk closer to Christ, to believe in themselves in Christ and who genuinely care about their best interest.