Teenage Infatuation Can Be Dangerous: Learn Why

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Teenage infatuation isn’t harmless. Instead, it can lead to serious long-term problems in marriage. Use these Bible-based insights to help teens and young adults prioritize their relationship with God. Remind them to be sober-minded about dating and marriage.

Why is teenage infatuation dangerous? Here’s a real-life example…

Recently, an old friend messaged me, asking for prayer. He came home from work to discover an empty house and an absent wife and child. No, robbers and kidnappers hadn’t struck. His wife left him. I asked if he’d seen it coming. Were there any warning signs?

He said it had been clear for a while that his wife was done. I asked if any hope for restoration existed. He didn’t think so. He thought the best possible outcome was joint custody. Although we hadn’t talked in years and I’d only met his wife once, my heart sank. I could only imagine his pain.

I don’t know the details of their situation. So what follows isn’t an indictment on that couple. But any time I hear of divorce and abandonment, I ponder the serious call of marriage. Unfortunately, we often take it way too lightly.

Why Teenage Infatuation Can Harm Relationships

Many people enter the marriage covenant flippantly and superficially. Because of teenage infatuation and worldly expectations, they don’t consider the responsibility they’re accepting. They don’t grasp the promises they’re making before God and people.

In movies, drunk characters visit random wedding chapels in Las Vegas. We laugh at their foolishness and think we’d never be so ridiculous. But people tie the knot while drunk all the time. They’re not under the influence of alcohol, though. They’re filled with dopamine—infatuation, so-called love and lust.

Just as a covenant entered under the influence of alcohol is unlikely to survive, these marriages are also likely to struggle. A man and woman should enter marriage with sober minds and hearts. They need to be able to take their vows seriously.

Preparation for Marriage

In Ephesians 5:15–21, Paul exhorts:

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Then Paul presents the well-known household codes, starting with the husband-wife relationship. Before he writes about marriage, he paints a beautiful picture of sober-mindedness. Paul urges Christians to look carefully at how we walk and not to be unwise. We are to make the best use of our time and not be foolish but understand God’s will. Then Paul summarizes this picture of sober-mindedness. Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.

This exhortation prepares us to embrace the picture of marriage that reflects the beautiful relationship between Christ and the Church. Only sober-minded, Spirit-filled men and women can embrace “wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).

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phillipholmes@churchleaders.com'
Phillip Holmeshttp://www.desiringgod.org
Phillip Holmes (@PhillipMHolmes) is an itinerant preacher, co-founder and Vice President of the Reformed African American Network (RAAN) and co-host of Pass The Mic, RAAN’s official podcast. You can find more content by him at his personal site, Highest Good. He resides in Houston and is engaged to Jasmine Baucham.

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