The first Father’s Day in heaven can be difficult for children of all ages. For most families, Father’s Day is a time of celebration, with barbecues, silly cards, and hugs. But for some kids, Father’s Day brings sharp pain, not joy.
These are kids whose fathers have died, especially those experiencing their first Father’s Day without Dad. For them, the day can be complicated, emotional, and confusing.
Children’s ministry workers and Sunday school teachers are on the frontlines of shaping how kids view God, family, love, and loss. Remember grieving families, especially single-parent households and children who have lost their father. When ministry leaders approach Father’s Day with compassion, the church becomes a place of healing instead of pain.
Understanding Heartache: First Father’s Day in Heaven
After a dad’s death, the first Father’s Day in heaven is often the most difficult. Whether the death was recent or within the past year, grief tends to surge on holidays. Sunday school students may feel forgotten, awkward, or unsure how to participate when other kids are celebrating. Some may act out, shut down, or ask tough questions like, “Why did God let my dad die?”
Remind staff that kids might express a variety of emotions. These include:
- Sadness and tears, even if they were “okay” last week
- Guilt for not doing more or saying goodbye
- Confusion about God’s love and power
- Anger, especially in older children
- Withdrawal or silence when others talk about dads
For grieving moms, Father’s Day can also be filled with dread. They may wonder whether they should bring their child to church that day. They might worry how teachers or other parents will handle it. Sensitive ministry planning can turn this day of dread into an experience of caring.
Sensitivity Toward Grieving and Single-Parent Families
When planning Father’s Day lessons and activities, know that not all families are celebrating the same way. Some children are grieving a death, while others are growing up in single-parent homes where the father is absent or unknown. Here are practical ways to minister with empathy:
- Acknowledge loss with compassion, not silence. It can be tempting to avoid the topic of death or grief on celebratory days. But children who are grieving notice when their pain is invisible. Simply noting that “Father’s Day can be difficult for some of us” validates feelings.
- Avoid “everyone has a dad” language. Instead of saying, “Take this home to your dad,” use inclusive phrases. “Give this to someone special in your life” or “You can keep this in memory of someone you love.” This small shift can make a big difference.
- Offer optional activities. If you’re doing crafts or cards for dads, provide an alternate version. For example: “A card for someone you miss,” “A letter to your dad in heaven,” or “A prayer for someone who’s in your heart.
- Inform volunteers in advance. Make sure Sunday school teachers and helpers know which children have lost a parent. Equip them with appropriate responses if grief arises during class. Let them know they’re not expected to “fix” anything. Instead, just be present and kind.
- Encourage open conversation with caregivers. Check in with moms or guardians before Father’s Day weekend. Ask how their child is doing. See if they’d prefer their child skip the activity, have an alternate craft, or participate fully. Their insight will guide you toward compassionate ministry.
Bible Lessons & Activities: First Father’s Day in Heaven
The church can help children process grief in light of God’s love. Bible stories, memory verses, and creative activities let kids of all ages express their emotions and find comfort in Scripture. Adapt these ideas:
1. Bible Story: Jesus Wept (John 11:1-44)
Lazarus’ death and resurrection is deeply comforting because it shows that Jesus understands our sadness. Even though Jesus knew Lazarus would live again, Jesus wept with his friends.
Activity Idea: Have children draw a picture of something or someone they miss. Talk about how Jesus cried when someone He loved died. Then, make a “comfort box” with Bible verses, drawings, and reminders that Jesus is close when we’re sad.
Bonus Idea: Create a Memory Wall or Prayer Tree in your church where kids can post the names or pictures of fathers they miss. It can be part of a quiet corner where families grieve with hope, surrounded by a community that remembers.
2. Bible Story: God is Our Father (Psalm 68:5)
For children who feel alone, this verse reminds us that God steps in as a loving Father to the fatherless.
Activity Idea:
Make a “God My Father” crown or frame. Let kids decorate with words or pictures of how God cares for them (protects, listens, helps, comforts). Explain that even when we miss our earthly dads, our heavenly Father never leaves.
3. Prayer Letters to Heaven
Provide paper and envelopes for kids to write or draw a letter to their dad in heaven. Reassure them that it’s okay to say anything they feel. If the family is comfortable, these letters can be taken home, placed in a memory box, or shared during a family time. Handle this activity sensitivity. Always notify parents in advance.
4. Worship and Music Reflection
Songs of comfort can reach deep into a grieving child’s heart. Choose simple songs that emphasize God’s love, presence, and care. Ideas include “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” “Jesus Loves Me,” and “You Never Let Go” (Matt Redman, for older kids).
5. Journaling Prompts for Preteens
For older children or preteens, provide journals with prompts such as:
- “One thing I remember about my dad is…”
- “When I feel sad, I can pray by saying…”
- “God is with me when I feel…”
Invite kids to reflect quietly. Then offer to pray individually with anyone who wants it.
First Father’s Day in Heaven: Closing Thoughts
Father’s Day can be joyful and painful, sometimes at the same time. At church we don’t want to ignore the beauty of honoring dads. But we also must be the compassionate heart of Jesus to kids who are hurting.
For the first Father’s Day in heaven, your children’s ministry can comfort grieving children with the promises of Scripture. Then keep walking with them through their loss. When we combine sensitivity with the truth of God’s eternal love, Father’s Day becomes more than just a celebration of dads. It becomes a reminder that our heavenly Father is always near.
