Thinking back on his tweet now, Solomon said he wishes he didn’t say it, but also said he doesn’t regret telling people he’s not a Christian anymore. “Maybe I regret my approach to it…but I just wanted to get it over with,” he shared.
Solomon said he feared people’s responses, but added that he didn’t want to miss an opportunity to help others who are struggling with their faith like he has.
“If I believe that what I’ve found, what I’ve experienced, what I am experiencing, where I am going is beneficial and helpful and healthy…and I’m leaving away from something that was not healthy for me, then maybe there are many other people who are curious. Not because they’re nosey, not because they wish to condemn, but because they are scared right now. Maybe they’re going through their own process of unbelief. [The] process of drifting away from the faith that everyone knows them to have, and they don’t know what to do with that. To feel safe and put on a mask. They hide their true struggles so that they won’t be ostracized from the community they’re in. So that they’ll feel safe because they don’t know where else to go.”
Recalling a popular YouTube video he made discussing doubt, Solomon said he remembered using the phrase “Honestly, I’ve considered quitting but where will I go?…Back?” He said everything outside of the Christian faith was scary to him at that time, so he just stayed.
Solomon said he no longer fears leaving the faith and sees it as a choice between that which propels him to go in reverse rather than in a trajectory going forward.
“Deconstructing isn’t even the proper word,” Solomon said, regarding his faith journey. The “creative,” as he calls himself, used the word “evolution” when describing his faith as “evolving,” which he said dares him to be honest.
“Whatever you believe, you have to own it. You can’t lease it from anybody. You can’t rent it.”
Dangerously, Solomon promised hope, love, clarity, morality, community, peace, and joy outside Christianity for those struggling with their faith. He says all of those things “that were marketed as ‘exclusive’ to your Christianity, you can find outside of its boundaries.”
“Those who are hearing this and still want to stay a Christian,” Solomon said, “but they feel some uncertainty around their faith because of the influence that I’ve played in that…I’ve tried to be clear throughout my time on YouTube and poetry and things…Whatever you believe, you have to own it. You can’t lease it from anybody. You can’t rent it.”
The social media influencer told his followers that if they had borrowed faith from someone else and never fully owned it, that now is “a beautiful time to consider what you own.”
Solomon said that he felt hurt by people who questioned his desire to have an authentic faith in Jesus Christ and said people assumed he was only making Christian videos as a way to make money and become popular.
Solomon explained that popularity was a temptation at times, but that he “genuinely sought after the face of the God of the Bible,” leading him to pleading in tears that God would take away his doubt.
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The talented creative posed a question to his listeners, asking whether they were just made for damnation, referring to the Apostle Paul’s teachings to the church of Ephesus in Ephesians 1:4-5. “But you’re not, and I hope that you see that,” Solomon said.
“I know what it’s like to heal and to become whole when I’ve been broken for so long.”
“[For years] I’ve struggled with believing God, particularly the God of the Bible,” Solomon stated, then shared that is why he was driven to study the Bible. “I probed, because in that Bible, I believed there to be the answers to all of life,”he said. He added that he wanted to understand biblical context and Author better so that everything in life would make sense.
With sadness in his voice, Solomon said his pursuit wasn’t about obtaining knowledge or facts, but was genuinely about wanting to have a relationship with and experience God deeply. There were moments he said he thought that was happening. “Ya’ll, I tried for so long,” he said.
