For example, Vuolo used to think it was wrong to wear pants. “I saw friends who started wearing pants and I thought, ‘Oh, goodness, their life is going to fall apart,’” she said. “I’m just watching this, like, I’m waiting for the show to start. It’s going to fall apart because they stepped outside of this box.”
Another teaching Vuolo used to believe was that it was wrong to listen to music with drums in it. She said, “Bill Gothard even told a story of a young man who was in a car, and he was listening to rock music, and he ended up dying as a result in a car accident because God was displeased with him.”
Vuolo said this idea affected her so much that one time when she was riding in a car with someone who was playing praise and worship music with drums, she was convinced they were going to die in a car accident. “That’s the kind of fear that I would experience when I would think about what God expects of me,” she said.
Vuolo saw God’s expectations as a confusing burden she had to bear. “Not knowing what God expects of you is terrifying, right?” she said. “So you think…am I supposed to stay home? Am I supposed to go there? I don’t know. What does God want me to do? It can be so crippling.”
Other areas of Vuolo’s life that were impacted by IBLP were her expectations for having children and how she approached romantic relationships. She said, “Everyone is supposed to, according to the Word of God, honor God in purity. But what is that? What does purity mean within a relationship? Does it mean you have to have a chaperone with you 24/7?” Vuolo has now come to realize that the Bible allows for greater freedom in these areas than she previously believed.
Jinger Duggar Vuolo: Disentangling, but Not Walking Away
Jinger Duggar Vuolo said she began questioning IBLP’s teachings when she met her brother-in-law, Ben Seewald, and her now husband, Jeremy, who was friends with Ben. Vuolo said that Jeremy “coming into the picture was so helpful for me…we had differences in some beliefs, but ultimately, he lived his life according to the Word of God.”
When Vuolo became engaged to Jeremy in 2016, the couple went through Bill Gothard’s teachings together and compared them to the Bible’s commands. “It was the first time I began to question [Gothard’s] teachings,” she said. Prior to that, “I was totally immersed in that world,” whereas Jeremy was “totally outside of that world. He’s a Christian, but he had no clue about any of the teachings I held dear.”
Questioning her beliefs was “scary,” said Vuolo. “I look back at that season and see how challenging it was, for one, just to stop and say, ‘Is this teaching true?’ Because your whole world is wrapped up in it. All of your friends are there. Those you love the most are wrapped up in it. And so it’s very tough to stop.” But at the same time, having the support of Jeremy and others was “amazing.”
“I couldn’t imagine walking through it alone because it is so tough,” said Vuolo. “Like it’s such a long process…but it’s also such a beautiful process.”
Vuolo got the idea to write her book when, after marrying Jeremy, the two went to an IBLP conference. While there, Vuolo saw old friends who were still in the IBLP world. “While I was at the conference, it almost gave me more pity for everyone still there,” she said. “And really, I wanted them to see that you don’t have to live your life based on man-made rules. That’s not what’s going to keep you close to God. It’s not based on human tradition that you’re going to have a successful life.”
