Clear & Loud founder Joshua Harris has published on Instagram “an updated version” of his statement apologizing for how his book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” harmed people. Harris originally published his apology in 2018 when he stopped publication of his bestselling book.
“I originally shared this statement on my website in 2018, but I’ve never shared it on Instagram,” said Harris in the caption of his post. “I still get asked why my thinking on I Kissed Dating Goodbye changed, so I wanted to share an updated version of [the] full statement with you on these slides.”
“To those who were harmed by the book, I want to say I am truly sorry,” he continued. “I regret the ways its message caused fear, shame, or confusion about relationships, identity, and sexuality. While I can’t undo the harm, I hope this apology and the steps I’ve taken since will bring some measure of healing.”
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Joshua Harris published “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” in 1997 when he was 21. The book encouraged Christians to reject dating in favor of more God-honoring ways to pursue marriage. The evangelical community embraced the book, which was an influential part of the purity culture movement of the 1990s and sold over a million copies.
However, Harris later came to see his book as flawed. In 2018, he published his statement apologizing for the book, concluding that it had caused enough harm to make it worth stopping publication. That same year, Harris released a documentary exploring the impact his book had on a generation of people. The tagline for the film asked, “What if your views on sex and relationships as a 21-year-old influenced millions?”
Prior to going to grad school in 2015, Harris was a pastor at a Sovereign Grace church in Maryland and was mentored in ministry by C.J. Mahaney.
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In July 2019, Joshua Harris and his then-wife, Shannon, announced that they were separating. Christian evangelicals were shocked even more when shortly after that announcement, Harris revealed that he no longer considered himself a Christian.
Shannon, who now goes by Shannon Hendrickson, has been processing her own deconstruction journey and has since released a memoir titled, “The Woman They Wanted: Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife.”
Harris’ statement begins by mentioning that people have asked him “for many years” if he still believes what he wrote in “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” He said, “In addition to this question, some readers have told me the book harmed them.”
