Home Outreach Leaders Articles for Outreach & Missions How to Find the Ideal Ministry Spouse: 7 Key Indicators

How to Find the Ideal Ministry Spouse: 7 Key Indicators

How to Find the Ideal Ministry Spouse: 7 Key Indicators

In ministry your spouse can make you or break you. It may be cliché but it’s true, behind every great Ministry Staff Member is an ideal ministry spouse … and you can’t have one without the other. So whether you’re already married or you’re still searching for the right person…

Here are a couple traits you should be looking for in the ideal ministry spouse.

1. They’re Flexible

When you’re in ministry, you’re constantly “on.” Ministry doesn’t always abide by the family schedule. Crisis doesn’t always happen in people’s lives and the church according to plan.

2. They’re Comfortable Being Independent

Ministry is a calling (profession) that requires long hours at times, especially during holidays that are traditionally family moments. Finding someone that understands the importance of having you around the kids and the family but is also able to run the household while you’re not available is essential.

3. They Embrace the Church You Work At

An ideal ministry spouse believes in you and they believe in what you’re doing. It’s more than a job to them too. They don’t want to just see you succeed, they want to see the church you’re leading succeed. They find creative ways to be involved in the church you’re leading that fit their personality and reach out to the staff and volunteers. They’re an extension of you.

4. They’re Your Biggest Fan

Ministry can really knock the wind out of you at times. An ideal ministry spouse knows how to shoulder your burdens and comfort you in the low moments, and they’re the first ones to celebrate you in the good moments.

5. They’re Assertive With Boundaries

While being supportive they also have the ability to be firm, be honest and clear about what they need from you, and know when it’s time to call an audible for a date night or vacation. They make you want to be “better,” they bring out the best in you and call you on your stuff.

6. They’re Safe

Even though you’re not going to share everything with them about your job, you’re going to share most things with them. An ideal ministry spouse is trustworthy, holds sensitive information to themselves well, and acts as a stabilizing voice in your life.

7. They Understand the Pressure of Ministry

Ministry carries with it unique spiritual, emotional, time and social pressures. An ideal ministry spouse “gets it.” They help you carry and even diffuse that pressure.

This article originally appeared here.

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paulalexander@churchleaders.com'
Paul Alexander, a ministry consultant at the Unstuck Group and has more than 20 years of experience serving in the local church. He has served on the Sr. Leadership Teams of some of the nation’s leading mega-churches. Currently, Paul is serving as the Executive Pastor at Sun Valley Community Church, a large multi-site church located in the Phoenix area.