Chucking Seeds, Training Farmers and Building Greenhouses

August 24, 2017

“A farmer went out to sow his seed…” Luke 8:5

For decades youth leaders have been like farmers. They chuck the seeds of the Gospel in youth group, during outreach meetings and at camps, retreats and mission trips. This is the way it has been since youth ministry sprung into being.

And praise God for youth leader/farmers who have faithfully sown Gospel seeds all these years. Millions have come to Christ as a result!

But there is a better way.

It’s not a newer way but the ancient way. It’s the way Jesus trained his disciples. And it is powerfully demonstrated in the first few verses of Luke 8, 9 and 10.

In Luke 8:1 Jesus was the primary seed chucker and the 12 watched him sow Gospel seeds from village to village: “After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him…”

In Luke 9:1,2 the disciples were the primary seed chuckers and Jesus watched them sow: “When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.“

In Luke 10:1, 72 other disciples were the primary seed chuckers and Jesus and the12 apostles were, most likely, watching, coaching and encouraging them as they did: “After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go.”

It started in Luke 8 with Jesus doing the primary work of evangelism. Soon the primary outreach work had transferred to his closest disciples. And soon after that his followers were training other disciples.

Jesus had moved from just chucking seeds to training farmers (the 12), and soon he was building greenhouses (building a ministry model that multiplied both seeds and seed chuckers.)

Let me ask a simple youth ministry question, are you stuck as the primary Gospel seed chucker in your youth ministry? If your primary outreach strategy depends on you giving the Gospel during outreach meetings then you are stuck in Luke 8:1.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to give the Gospel (and not just at outreach meetings but in other meetings as well!). After all, Jesus didn’t stop giving the Gospel after Luke 8. He still preached the Good News, but his primary strategy moved from him (chucking seeds) to them (disciples chucking seeds) to it (building a greenhouse ministry that naturally multiplied seeds and seed chuckers, i.e., the 72).

How can you make the transition from being the only seed chucker to being a farm club for farmers and a greenhouse builder? Here are three keys:

1. Make sure you are modeling how to live out evangelism in front of your teenagers.

Jesus lived on mission and his disciples saw it. From engaging the woman at the well (John 4:4-42), Jesus was always ready to engage in a Gospel conversation. And his disciples watched him do this again and again and again.

Are you exemplifying what it means to live a life on mission for Jesus? Are you living out a lifestyle of evangelism that your teenagers see and can model? Like Jesus said in Luke 6:40, “No student is above their teacher but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.“

For help in sharing your faith check out this four-minute video we put together at Dare 2 Share to give you a crash course in effective evangelism:

2. Inspire, equip and unleash your teenagers to share the Gospel.

Just like Jesus sent his “youth group” on mission, we must do the same. We must inspire them to share the Good News of Jesus. Then we need to equip them how to share it in a clear and effective way. And, finally, we must unleash them to do it!

This is where many seed chucking classes often fail. If we teach them how to share the Gospel but never actually take them out to chuck seeds, they never really learn. Another way to put it is inspiration plus information minus activation equals frustration.

A super simple way to get your teenagers activated in evangelism is Dare 2 Share Live coming up on September 23. On this powerful day of outreach we will inspire teenagers to chuck Gospel seeds, train them how and then unleash them to do some actual sowing! Find the closest host site near you and bring your teenagers to get activated as seed chuckers along with tens of thousands of other teenagers across the nation!

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Recruiting That Really Works

Mark Harper

August 24, 2017

If you talk to most KidMin pastors, they will tell you that recruiting volunteers is the most stressful part of their job.

Part of the reason for the stress is that many kids’ pastors spend much of their time on things that don’t work.

First of all, let’s talk about what doesn’t work.

• Bulletin announcements don’t work.

• Pulpit announcements don’t work.

• Guilt doesn’t work.

• Begging doesn’t work either.

What does work?

This is what the Holy Spirit said to me early in my ministry:

“Never beg for workers. Let people experience the anointing that is on the kids’ ministry, and let Me draw them to you.”

There is a calling or an anointing for kids’ ministry. The call comes from the Father. You are not the only one in your church that is called.

There are others; they just don’t know it yet. The key is to leverage opportunities for the entire congregation to experience what you experience every Sunday—the love of the Father for the kids in your class. One of the challenges in recruiting for kids’ ministry is that it is a hidden ministry. People don’t know how good it is. Your job is to make the kids’ ministry more visible.

The absolute best way to make kids’ ministry more visible is to ask your pastor to minister for one service on a Sunday morning.

If he says yes, you can do one of two things:

• A live kids’ service in big church

• Preach and cast vision for the kids’ ministry

People respond to vision, and people respond to passion. When I asked my pastor for a Sunday-morning service, he said yes, but then he looked at me and said, “It better be good.”

The bottom line is if you get a service in the sanctuary, it better be good.

If it’s not good, it will have the reverse effect:

• Volunteers will stay away.

• You may not get another chance.

• You will be communicating a negative experience to your pastor.

How do you make it good?

• Be prepared.

• Practice hard.

• Trust the Holy Spirit.

• Work like it all depends on you, and pray like it all depends on God.

If your pastor says no, then ask for five minutes on a Sunday morning or perhaps during a Wednesday-night service.

If the five minutes go well, it builds trust. He might give you the whole service next time.

Ask people to get involved.

Another productive way to recruit people is to simply ask them face-to-face to help. It’s ironic, but volunteers rarely just volunteer. Most people need to be asked one-on-one.

I go after the new parents that just started attending for three or four weeks.

This is how I ask them: “I’ve noticed that your kids are great kids. They are well-behaved and participate in service. I can tell that you are the kind of parents that I want to teach other people’s kids.”

Ask people to help with VBS or kids’ camp.

Many people do not want to make a long-term commitment, but they will get involved with something, like camp, VBS or a lock in.

This gives them an opportunity to experience how fun children’s ministry is.

This gives you an opportunity to build a relationship during the week.

After the event is over, ask them to volunteer in kids’ ministry.

I always get new volunteers for kids’ ministry from these special events.

Click here for a free checklist of things you should do once you get new volunteers.

This article originally appeared here.

Four Questions You Should Ask Every Time You Read the Bible

Matthew S. Harmon

August 24, 2017

When it comes to reading the Bible, asking good questions is essential. In a very real sense the quality of the questions you ask determines what you get out of the text and your ability to apply it to your life. But we need to make sure we are asking the right kinds of questions.

So what kind of questions is the Bible intended to answer? The Bible is first and foremost a story about God displaying his glory through the creation and redemption of humanity. It makes sense, then, that the Bible is designed to answer questions connected to this central theme. Jesus confirms this dual focus on God and humanity. When asked what the greatest commandment was, he replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matt 22:37). But Jesus wasn’t done. He continued, “And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:39). Love God. Love others. This is the heart of what God wants from his people.

The challenge, then, is to ask questions that help us see these realities when we read the Bible. If that seems overwhelming, don’t worry! By asking four foundational questions, we can make sure we are asking the kind of questions that God designed the Bible to answer.

What Do We Learn About God?

God is the main character of the Bible, the hero of the story. So it makes sense that the first question we ask is what we learn about him. Scripture reveals who God is in at least three different ways.

First, it shows us God’s character, or his attributes. Sometimes the Bible states these directly (Rev 4:8), while at other times you have to infer it from the passage (1 Kgs 22:1–40).

Second, Scripture reveals who God is by showing us his conduct. In other words, we see God doing things in a passage that show us who he is. Take, for example, Psalm 23, which lists several things that God does for his people as our shepherd: leads, restores, comforts, prepares, anoints.

Third, the Bible reveals who God is by showing us his concerns. In passages like Exodus 22:21–24 God commands his people not to mistreat the sojourner, the widow or the orphan. God makes it clear that he values and protects the marginalized, and expects his people to do the same.

As you look for what a passage teaches about God, be sure to pay attention to all three persons of the Trinity. Sometimes a passage will even specifically mention all three persons (Matt 28:18–20; 2 Cor 13:14).

What Do We Learn About People?

As the pinnacle of God’s creation, human beings are at the center of God’s purposes for creation. The Bible has a lot to say about people. So when it comes to learning what a passage teaches us about humanity, we can approach that from three different angles.

The first angle is looking in the text for aspects of what it means to be created in the image of God. What longings or desires does the passage reveal that are expressions of being made in the image of God? A good example is Hannah, the barren wife of Elkanah, who longed to have a child (1 Sam 1:1–20).

Of course, sin regularly distorts our God-given desires and twists them in sinful directions and expressions. So the second angle to discover what a passage reveals about humanity is to look for the fallen condition(s) it exposes. The fallen condition is the sinful beliefs, attitudes, feelings, actions or tendencies mentioned or implied in the text. In some passages the fallen condition is impossible to miss. Take, for example, Proverbs 6:16–19, which explicitly lists “six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him.” Other times, however, you may have to read between the lines to discover the fallen condition.

The third angle to get at what a passage reveals about humanity is to look for what our lives should look like as redeemed people. In Acts 2:42–47 Luke describes how the earliest believers lived out their faith in Jesus. This snapshot helps us see how the gospel transforms people to live as redeemed individuals as well as a redeemed community.

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When the Preaching Is Bad

Nicholas Batzig

August 24, 2017

What are we to do when we find the preaching to be deficient in the local church to which we belong? For some church members, that is a relatively easy question to answer—just leave! After all, many people will leave churches for all sorts of other illegitimate reasons: musical preference, children’s ministry, social expectations, etc. For others, this is an exceedingly difficult question to answer. There are godly men and women who find themselves torn over whether or not they should leave a church—even when they know that they are not being adequately fed by the ministry of the word. Add to this the fact that many will leave their spouses, change jobs and move to another country before leaving a church that they have belonged to for several decades. Affinity and investment often clouds objectivity. The difficultly of determining when to leave a church can also be due to the fact that the Scriptures do not seem to give us much by way of a clear answer to this question. After all, Jesus rebuked almost all of the seven churches in the book of Revelation for serious spiritual—and, at times, even doctrinal—errors, without telling the members of those particular local churches to leave them at that precise moment. These factors make it quite difficult for someone to give another person a definite and objective answer to the question. So, we are left to ask, “Are there any guiding principles to help someone in a situation in which he or she knows that the preaching at their church is deficient?”

In his book Be Careful How You Listen, Jay Adams gives us one of the most helpful treatments of this subject. Adams gives several categories by which believers can assess what is deficient in the preaching. For instance, we must first seek to distinguish between “seeming heresy” and “heresy” in the preaching. In order to do this, Adams suggests that concerned individuals go to the pastor and say something along the following lines:

“Pastor, we may have misunderstood, but here is what we think you have been saying. Please tell us if we are wrong; we are deeply concerned about this. We have come to you first; we haven’t made our concerns known to anyone else in the congregation.”

When individuals take this first course of action, the minister has an opportunity to respond. He might respond by “commending them for their honesty and prudence and will listen carefully to them.” This might be all that was needed for the minister to “make an effort to be clearer in his preaching.” If we fail to take this first course of action “none of these good things would happen.” When we fail to do things in this proper way, we take away an opportunity for clarity and growth.

However, if someone has gone through this first step and is ignored by the pastor—or comes to realize that the minister is truly preaching heretical doctrine (we have to know how to properly identify heresy if we are going to draw such a serious conclusion)—he or she should not immediately leave the church. Such individuals have a responsibility to go through the proper channels of accountability in order to bring about change. “They must,” Jay insists, “speak to the elders (or other board members, depending on the kind of church it may be) about the problem. They have a responsibility to the congregation and to the Lord that they cannot discharge by leaving the church.”

If a church member has followed the first two steps, and finds himself or herself getting nowhere, one final course of action may be taken:

“If the church belongs to a denomination, it may be possible to appeal to a high body (a Presbytery, convention, etc.). This may take time and it will require patience…but they are responsible to take every action possible to restore the ministry of this church… If the church is independent, they must attempt to rally as many of the members as possible to bring about a change in the situation… They will be vilified all along the way by some; but if they persist in a proper, humble, helpful manner—not returning evil for evil, but overcoming evil with good (Rom. 12:21)—keeping Christ’s honor and His church’s welfare always uppermost in their minds, they will proceed rightly.”

If these courses of action are followed in love, humility and patience, and no change occurs in the doctrine that is promulgated from the pulpit, such individuals “must finally leave the church and…unite with a church in which the Gospel is preached and the Lord’s word is held inerrant.”

However, what are men and women to do when “the preaching is neither suspect nor heretical, just poor?” Jay gives eight points of spiritual advice upon which men and women may provisionally act:

1. Pray for the pastor. We often underestimate what God has promised to do if we would call on Him and cast our cares on him. James reminds us that the “effectual fervent prayer of the righteous avails much.” Preaching is certainly not outside of the sphere of God’s authority and power.

2. Look for main points in the message—or points suggested by the message. Jot down questions, observations, illustrations and key passages that might relate to these main points.

3. Ask yourself, “How would I approach this passage?” When you do that sincerely desirous to learn and grow, “you will find that you are working all the harder because the pastor isn’t (or doesn’t know how to) work that hard to understand the Scriptures or communicate his understanding to others.”

4. Take more notes than you would otherwise. “Takes notes on all that comes into your mind” from related places in Scripture. “Meditate, and take notes on it.”

5. Think of your life in relation to the sermon (or your [biblically sound] reconstruction of the sermon). “Try to discover why the Holy Spirit put the passage in the Bible… Reflect on this specifically in relation to your own life and determine at least three ways you can implement the Holy Spirit’s purpose during the coming week.

6. On an especially bad day, forget about the sermon and focus on a hymn, the Scripture reading, or something in the prayer.

7. Learn from the sermon by contrast. When error is preached, ask, “What does the Bible really say?” Pursue that line until you are sure of the biblical truth. You will especially be sharpened if you read solid books that will help keep you straight.

8. Remember what it must have been like for Jesus to sit under the atrocious preaching in the synagogue for 30 years.

“What all this amounts to,” writes Jay, “is taking seriously the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers, for which the Reformers fought. They asserted not only the right but also the responsibility of the believer to come directly to God in prayer and to study the Bible on their own… Spurgeon could not have been too far from the truth when he said, ‘I have listened to many sermons from preachers called poor, in all corners of the country, and I have never heard one that did not teach me something, if I was in the spirit to profit from it.’”

None of this is to say that believers must stay in a church that does not preach God’s word in truth. Of course, believers should commit to being under the most sound preaching of God’s word that they can find in a reasonable proximity to their home. But, it is to stress the obligation that we have to the people of God and to the Lord to make every effort to see faithful ministry occurring in the church in which we have bound ourselves.

This article originally appeared here.

Why People Oppose Change

Tina Houser

August 23, 2017

Last time we talked about the leadership essential of always pointing kids toward the true light…remember the loggerhead turtle? Well, today let’s look at another children’s ministry leadership “must.” In order to lead a team of staff and volunteers in the church, you must have an understanding of change and what causes people to buck when you’re initiating it. Something that has often confused me is how a person may rave about the changes they see elsewhere, but speak loud and boldly of their disapproval of the changes that are happening under their noses. People get comfortable. They feel safe. And change messes with both of those.

No matter what the change is that you are proposing, you need to understand that there are going to be people who voice their disapproval. You’re thinking, “This is a great idea! Why would anyone resist this?” Before you get too confident, let’s look at some reasons that you’re going to deal with opposition.

1. Some people are downright content to be where they are, doing what they’re doing…no matter what it is. Before you cause a confrontation, go to this person and ease them into the change. Offer them tiny changes to move them step-by-step into a more substantial one.

2. They distrust leadership. As much as we hate to admit it, past staff may have been responsible for creating an atmosphere in the church where leadership is distrusted. Figure out the cause of their distrust, through one-on-one conversations with them. Then, set out to prove yourself different. One of the keys here is to approach the change with great intentionality and don’t catch this person off guard. Even if it seems to be none of their business, until they trust you, make an effort to let them know what’s coming up. You don’t want to fuel their already flaming fire.

3. Some people feel their input doesn’t matter. Bring people along with you when you’re making a change. Include them in the discussion. Encourage input, but what’s even more important is that you use that input in some way. Even if it’s not a very good idea, find a way to use part of it so this person can feel safe to offer more (and better) ideas.

4. Some people resist because they lack the vision. They just don’t see it. It seems as plan as day to you, but they’re not getting it. Cast the vision in lots of different ways, and always highlight the benefits of how more kids will come to know the Lord because of it. Find ways to open their eyes.

5. Then, there are those people who resist change because they have a negative nature. Jesus could recommend the change and they still wouldn’t be happy. Keep any negative comments you may have, or doubts about what you’re doing, to yourself. Never, never, never share them in this person’s presence. Always say something positive even in the midst of their negativity. In rare instances, this person can have a change of heart about the change, but more than likely they will be an “irregular person” you just have to live with.

No matter what the cause of resistance is, the best way to combat it is through clear communication and an excitement for what will be. Don’t let these nay-sayers cause you to cower or give up.

This article originally appeared here.

3 Tips to Ensure That Your Communication Gets Heard

Tommy Carreras

August 23, 2017

All too often, our communication falls flat.

The average email open rate is usually around 25 percent. We’ve all had times where half our team is frantically texting us with questions…that we answered very clearly in last week’s email.

Personally, instead of just trying to change WHAT I communicate, I’ve started focusing on HOW I communicate. Here are some tips and tools that might help us be heard by the people we serve.

1. STOP OVER-COMMUNICATING

Do you sleep with white noise? The constant drone helps block out unwanted noise that might wake you up throughout the night, but it also doesn’t discriminate. It just blocks out everything. I hate to say it…but email is already white noise to people. So much junk mail clouds our inboxes, and people’s default action is to SKIP whatever they know won’t be relevant, helpful or important. And sometimes, they just skip it all to save the time!

I try never to communicate via email with my team unless it’s information that they absolutely need. And in every email, I trim the niceties and fillers so that they get the information almost immediately upon opening or reading. The message I want to send is simple: I respect your time, and I’m here to support you—not drain you.

If your team can trust that when you send an email, it’s vital information, think about how effective your communication can become! You’ll have confidence that what you’re saying is heard much more than 25 percent of the time.

2. WE HAVE TO GO TO THEM

The most important thing about communication is that it’s received. It can never be understood or utilized if it’s not first received. The reality is, many people don’t live in email world. People steer clear because it’s full of mass marketing, emails are usually too long to read and digest quickly, and it often feels more professional and detached.

So where do they live? Texting! Here are some eye-opening statistics…

– 95 percent of texts are read within three minutes of being sent

– Texts have a 45 percent average response rate

– The average adult spends 23 hours a week texting

If we want to be heard, we have to put ourselves where people are listening. Texts are immediate, personal and short. So not only do you get to someone quickly, but you get your whole message across at once. No fluff, no filler. Just encouragement. Just helpful information. Whatever it is you’re sending, make sure it’s loud and clear!

Here are some helpful tools that make texting scalable on a big level:

– Remind App (it’s free!)

– PastorsLine

3. FIND A HOME BASE FOR “MORE INFORMATION”

There is a middle ground “sweet spot”—we want to go to where the people are, so we choose texting. But we have more than 160 characters of important information…date, place, time, information…so what do you do??

As an example, here’s a sample text that combines the best of both worlds:

“Hey team! Can’t wait to see you at the Groups Rally THIS Saturday! It’s going to be a blast! Get all the info at bit.ly/2uGyEpN.”

By combining a text with a web-based “home base” for the nuts and bolts of the information, you can…

– Get the most important info right in front of people’s eyes

– Make it easy for them to respond immediately if they have questions

– House all the info in a place that you can easily send people later, or that they can refer to easily

Here are some ideas for what that “home base” can be:

– Hidden pages on your church’s website

– Posts or events on a team-only facebook page (this is a double whammy, you can communicate through facebook as well!)

– A group or page inside of your church management software (if everyone is used to using it already)

All in all, there are tons of different ways to communicate with your team or the people in your church. But if you stay away from needless over-communication, go to them where they are, and find an easy-to-remember static home base for more information, you will be well on your way to being heard when you communicate!

This article originally appeared here.

30 Lessons on Life and Ministry

Michael Guyer

August 23, 2017

There is something about turning 30 that makes you reflect. You realize that you have lived a significant amount of life, but you still—Lord willing—have a lot more life to live. You have lived long enough to learn a few things, but you still feel like you have so much to learn. You have lived long enough to accomplish some things, but there is plenty you still have yet to accomplish. You have lived long enough to see some wins, but you have also tasted a fair share of losses.

In keeping with this reflective mood, I decided to count some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way about life and ministry. I’ve learned many of these lessons by watching the men and women God has surrounded me with throughout my life. In fact, I am today who I am in Christ and in ministry because of my parents, siblings, pastors, small group leaders, teachers, friends, bosses, co-workers, fellow church members, etc…. God has used each of these people to shape me into who I am today and teach me the lessons that I’ve learned. I share these lessons not so much because I have learned them myself, but because of whom I’ve learned them from over the course of my life.

Nothing of eternal value is done apart from the Lord. “Many are the plans in the mind of man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Prov. 19:21). Abide in Christ and you will bear fruit that will remain (John 15:1-11).
Start your day with God. Nothing sets the trajectory of your day like hearing from God and pouring out your heart before God. Find time to be in God’s Word whenever you can, but don’t underestimate the value of starting your day in it.
Don’t lose sight of the gospel and how it has changed you. God has given you a story, don’t ever get tired of sharing it. The truth is our story is really about His story and how He has transformed us. Daily obedience and life change should always flow out of the gospel. Martin Luther said, “It is also the principal article of all Christian doctrine, wherein the knowledge of all godliness consisteth. Most necessary it is, therefore, that we should know this article well, teach it unto others, and beat it into their heads continually.”
God’s Word is central to discipleship. This seems obvious, but it is easy to make discipleship about going through classes or working through various resources. All these may have a place. However, nothing is more valuable than teaching people to read God’s Word on their own and apply it to their lives.
You will only lead others in Christ where you yourself have gone. Otherwise it is just a game. Lead yourself before you lead others so that you can lead others where you yourself have gone.
Entrust ministry to others. You are not called to be everything and do everything. In fact, as a pastor, God has called you to entrust ministry to others. Equip the saints for the work of the ministry. Give ministry away and watch God use His people to accomplish His mission.
Hard work isn’t everything, but not much gets done without it. So much of life and ministry is about who is willing to do what it takes to see something through. Whether it is a degree, a project, starting a ministry, planting a church or making disciples. Hard work isn’t opposed to grace. We ought to work hard at what God gives us because of His grace and trust Him with the results.
Community is essential to healthy Christian living. God designed us to know and be known by others in the body of Christ—no leader is exempt.
Involve your family in your ministry. Many struggle with the illusive balance between ministry and family. The best advice we received early in our marriage was to do ministry as a family as much as we could. This means having people in your home, traveling together when you can, including your spouse in conversations, and inviting people into the life of your family. There will be sacrifices, but you do not have to sacrifice your family on the altar of ministry.
Keep short accounts with God and others. All of the Christian life is repentance. Your sin will find always find you, better to share it now with God and others than be crushed by it later.
There are no insignificant people. Every person God puts across your path matters. There will be difficult people. There will be needy people. But there are never insignificant people.
Sometimes just being there is what matters. Being there is often just as great if not greater than what you said while you were there.
Make time to listen to others. People want to be heard. And if you want to be heard, you need to listen. Nothing communicates you care more than your willingness to hear someone out and understand what they are going through or facing in their life.
Be slow to speak, but mean what you say. There are some Proverbs about this one (Prov. 12:18; 17:28; 26:19; James 1:19). It is often our default to rush into sharing our opinion, but there is wisdom in waiting to speak and weighing your words. Better to be slow to speak and mean it, than to be quick to speak and regret it.
If you can, don’t do anything in ministry alone. Sometimes the best discipleship happens as you go—on a car ride, running an errand, including someone in a meeting, or having someone over for dinner. A lot of ministry is better caught than taught.
Nothing compares to seeing others come to know and follow Christ. If heaven rejoices over one lost sinner who repents, so should we. Celebrate the salvation and life transformation God is doing among you. Yes, it is strategic in encouraging others. But it is also why we do what we do.
Regardless of how many people come, be committed to excellence. It is easy to be discouraged when an event or ministry does not go as planned. Don’t let a small crowd keep you from doing what you are called to do or what you said you would with excellence. Regardless of the size, serve, lead and teach with excellence. If you don’t do it now, what makes you think you will do so later.
Books are your friends, most of the time. Leaders are learners. But don’t stay in your books all the time. Apply what you are learning and don’t forget you are called to love and serve people.
Good theology should lead to doxology. If your studying makes you stuffy, you are doing something wrong. The study of God (theology) should lead to the worship of God (doxology).
Not everyone will always like you or your decisions. That’s OK. If you don’t live for everyone’s approval, you won’t be crushed by their disapproval. With that being said, however, always listen to criticism and learn what you can.
Unchecked fear of man will stifle faithfulness to God. If you fear man, you will boast when you are approved and despair when you are not. If you fear man, you will use and be used by people. Faithfulness to God looks like fearing God and loving others.
Have a plan. Nothing happens by accident. If God has called you to do something, spend time preparing to do it.
The best way to grow in prayer is to pray. You will never arrive in this area, but the best way to grow is to keep at it. Pray until you pray. Be real with God, pray the Scriptures back to God, adore Him, intercede for others, make your requests known to God, and remember that He delights to answers the prayers of His children.
Do hard things. I’ve wasted too much time putting off hard things. It is always better to get the hard things done first. So, go make that call, have that conversation or finish that project.
Always lead with vision. People respond and give to vision. Remind people of the vision first whether you are making a request, recruiting a leader or leading a ministry.
Enjoy the life God has given you. Life is too short to waste it away by wishing for another lot in life. God has given you this life. Live it for Him and enjoy what He has given you.
Joy is not dependent on your circumstances. Joy is found in the unshakable character of God not the changing circumstances of my life.
Always leave room for grace. Loving covers a multitude of sins. Assume the best. Show the same grace and give the same forgiveness that you have experienced in Christ. Bitterness will empty you and wound others. Grace will fill you and heal others.
Never stop being a servant. Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. Surely, we are not greater than our Master.
You are limited. You will not always accomplish your to-do list. You will overestimate your abilities. You will attempt more than you can handle. Be faithful, work hard, get some sleep and rest in the fact that you serve an unlimited God who can do more than we can ask or imagine.

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Why We Sing With the Lights On

Ronni Kurtz

August 23, 2017

I’m a pastor at a church plant primarily comprised of Millennials in an up-and-coming city. Our church is a prime candidate for loud, attractive music sung in a dimly lit room with an impressive worship team. Yet the music sung in our service isn’t loud, not necessarily attractive, and though it is extremely impressive to us, it wouldn’t be so to many outside our congregation. Furthermore, when singing at church, we are in a completely lit room; no lasers, no candles, no dimmed lights or anything of the sort.

Strategies for Singing at Church

While this might sound strange to some who find themselves in the same age bracket as our congregants, we do it on purpose—out of conviction. So then, why do we sing with the lights on and why would I consider this important enough to be the topic of this article? Here are a few reasons:

1. Fellow members are evidence of grace

Part of the wonder that comes when we sing in a congregational setting is the opportunity to sing alongside the trophies of God’s grace—His church. When singing at church, you get to lift up your voice with once dead sinners who’ve been made alive in Christ and the words should have a fresh meaning. The brothers and sisters who are next to you singing on Sunday morning, like you, are miracles of God’s saving grace. It would be a shame if you couldn’t witness them praise the author and sustainer of their faith for the sake of mood lighting.

There is something utterly soul-stirring about watching a struggling member, with whom you’ve walked through self-hate and guilt, sing these words with passion:

“When Satan tempts me to despair

and tells me of the guilt within,

upward I look to see him there,

who made an end of all my sin.”

To watch that new believer who was baptized only a few months ago sing of the joy they’ve found in Jesus serves as an encouragement to you, and it could be a catalyst for your church’s continued evangelism. Whatever gain there might be in lowering the lights during worship, it’s hard to imagine the advantages of a dim room could outweigh the wonder found when you observe blood-bought saints around you praise their King.

2. Christianity and the corporate reality

By the grace of God, I’ve witnessed the mindset of individualistic faith take a major hit in the past few years. Singing in a fully lit room can act as another dagger to our hearts prone to self-centered faith. One of the arguments for a dimly lit room during service is to eliminate distractions so that the attendee can focus on what they sing to Jesus. Yet I fear that in our attempt to eliminate distractions we’ve also eliminated the corporate reality of worship.

Christianity is a corporate faith where we all march together toward the Promised Land. It is in this corporate identity that we are given the charge to “see to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God” (Hebrews 12:15). Those fellow members that you might be tempted to count as distractions are the very ones who will make sure that you don’t die on the banks of the Promised Land.

It’s not lost on me that singing in a room with the lights on won’t win back the beauty of the corporate reality of the Christian faith, yet it’s a step, and it acts as an incredible lesson for the body of Christ.

When a Worship Leader Is a Control Freak

Gary Durbin

August 23, 2017

I have a confession. I’m a control freak. My nature is to grab the reins if I don’t feel things are going in the right direction. Some would appreciate that and recognize me as a strong leader. I do believe this controlling nature has served me and others well at times. I also know that being a control freak has hurt my leadership, especially when I fail to empower other leaders around me.

As worship leaders, we can sometimes be control freaks. This is ironic because we like to have freedom to lead. We generally don’t like the pastor to put shackles on us and squelch our creativity.

So, what are the things worship leaders try to control?

MUSICAL CULTURE – Worship leaders come in all ages. Young and old, we all have different tastes in music. Some worship leaders love modern worship songs and some are biased to older hymns. If you’re a child of the ’80s, you probably look for songs that feature Van Halen-like guitar solos. If you’re like me and love the ’90s, you may be a sucker for those sweet Coldplay-like ballads. The current culture of churches is seeing and hearing a lot of electronic music with the help of loops and click tracks. Whatever era you’re from, there’s a certain direction you lean musically. The control freak will tend to stay within his or her own circle of taste, even though it might be not be the consensus of the rest of the worship team or church. That results in your own musical taste becoming the church’s musical culture by default.

ARTISTIC CREATIVITY – This is a very broad topic. There are so many ways in which we can enhance our worship services with artistic creativity. There are old practices filled with stained glass, candles and a quiet simplicity. There are modern arts, including video, lighting and, yes, even smoke and mirrors. Every church has a different feel and flavor of sanctuaries and set designs. Most churches put that responsibility on the worship leader. One’s personal taste in how things look, sound and feel can definitely be revealed in the context of our weekly gatherings. The control freak will often believe that their own personal taste in artistic creativity is in agreement with the collective mass, thus it’s warranted.

SPIRITUAL CLIMATE – A controlling worship leader is actually a very spiritual label. He or she believes that the works of God are somewhat dependent on the quality and performance of the weekly worship set. This kind of outlook is often revealed in frustrated worship leaders who are discouraged after a worship set because of the lack of “spirituality” in the congregation. We see worship leaders trying to control the spiritual climate by publicly praying harder, playing harder and singing longer. A worship leader who attempts to control the spiritual climate of a church puts in a lot of effort, hard work and even passion.

I truly believe that the mission to control these elements is futile and frustrating. I say that because I am guilty. I’ve attempted to control these elements at various times in my ministry. Being a control freak has left me with more regrets than victories.

I have also seen how it can hurt my church. When I control the musical culture, I deprive my church of songs that they may connect with on a deeper level. When I exclude artistic creativity to my approval, I greatly limit our church to sights, sounds and smells that appeal to me. This stunts my church’s growth and impact in the area of creative arts. When I reduce the spiritual climate of a room to my perception, I run the risk of discipling my people incorrectly and discouraging my own spirit. No matter how much someone is experiencing the truth and presence of God in a service, I only acknowledge that based on what I am seeing and hearing. That’s a very flawed spiritual thermometer and it can hurt the spiritual temperature more than help it.

So, how does a worship leader become less of a control freak?

BE OPEN – Everyone from your pastor, your worship team members and even your congregation has ideas. Whether are not they share those ideas can be greatly determined by your approachability and openness. Leaders who always ultimately land on their own ideas end up strangling creativity instead of giving it life. The more you listen and implement the ideas of others, the more input and contribution you will receive from some very creative people in your church. Being approachable doesn’t mean you are obligated to every suggestion. It means that you are open and listening. If someone has an inspired, innovative thought, that’s when you’ll be thankful that you are not closed off to the ideas of others.

GIVE UP CONTROL – The most fulfilling aspect of leadership is empowering another leader. When you are given a leadership role, you’ve been given some element of control. You can either keep that control or you can give it up. That’s a lot of power and a lot of responsibility. Giving up control as a worship leader means bringing other staff or worship team members into the decision-making process. It will impact song selection, set designs and all other creative results that help your church engage in worship. Empowerment happens when you say the phrase “You decide” more and more. The ultimate cure for greed is giving. Control freaks require the same prescription. Give it up!

RECOGNIZE TRUE CONTROL – I honestly think that control freaks make God laugh more than anything. If you have control issues, then you probably have faith issues. When I live in the delusion that worship rises and falls on the back of my leadership, I am setting myself up for constant disappointment. I am also failing to recognize that God is truly in control. The irony of a worship leader who is a control freak is staggering, especially when you are asking people to sing about a God who is in control. When you recognize the One who is eternally on the throne (Psalm 103:19), you will more easily give up your own control.

A freak is someone who lives in an extreme state. A control freak holds on to decision making with an extreme grip. A worship leader who is a control freak is an extreme oxymoron. Control is a pride issue. Pride proclaims that everything good depends on me.

Don’t believe that lie.

Believe in the One who is truly in control and lead your people to worship Him alone.

This article originally appeared here.

7 Characteristics of Reactionary Pastors

Thom Rainer

August 23, 2017

Sometimes church leaders have to be reactionary.

There is a family tragedy. A church member walks into your office unexpectedly with a load of gripes. Your wife goes into labor.

OK, you get the point. We can’t always plan ahead. We can’t always be proactive.

But many church leaders can be more proactive. Too many of these leaders waste valuable time because they were not prepared adequately.

Allow me, then, to share from the negative perspective. Allow me to speak to the most common mistakes of reactionary pastors. Perhaps you will see yourself in one or more of these characteristics, with a prayerful hope you can make the necessary changes.

Does not look ahead. Sometimes it’s just that simple. Can you see what you will be doing next week or next month? Are you prepared? What do you need to do to get prepared? An unprepared pastor becomes a chaotic pastor.
Does not develop relationships well. Most of life and leadership is relationships. If pastors are not working intentionally to develop those relationships, they often have to take time to explain almost everything. They don’t have the trust or buy-in to lead change. They can be perceived as distant, so when an issue arises, church members may be hesitant to offer help.
Does not calendar in blocks of time. When you need to prepare a sermon or complete a project, block out the requisite time on your calendar. Reactionary leaders find themselves writing “Saturday night specials” and engaging in last minute panic attacks because they did not set aside time to prepare.
Focuses on critics. If the squeaky wheels dominate your ministry, you can be sure that your ministry will always be reactive. You make decisions out of fear instead of faith. You entertain thoughts of dead ends and impossibility because you listen to the naysayers instead of listening to the God of all possibilities.
Does not find joy in the day-to-day work of ministry. Yes, our ministry is one of labor. Yes our ministry has its tough moments. But don’t be the reactive leader who fails to see how God is working day by day in your life, your ministry and your church.
Has a short-term perspective. A reactionary leader often doesn’t plan to stick around. Proactive leaders, to the contrary, are able to respond well in times of challenge, because they know it will be OK. It’s just a matter of time.
Does not pray for their own leadership. I can’t remember a reactionary leader who prayed for wisdom from God on a daily basis. If we truly seek God’s will, way and wisdom, we will indeed be a proactive leader.

How do you respond to these seven characteristics? Do you see yourself in three or more of them on a consistent basis? If so, you are likely a reactive leader.

But the good news is that in God’s power, you can change.

And there is no better time than right now.

This article originally appeared here.

If I Were Starting Ministry Again, This Is What I Would Do

Joe McKeever

August 23, 2017

If I were a young man just beginning to minister for the Lord, I would want to make sure I did these things…

One. Stayed close to the church. Loyal to it, involved in it, faithfully preaching that the church is the only institution the Lord formed, and I would work through the local church.

Two. I would want to get as much formal education as possible, and do it as fully and completely as possible. This means, I would move my family to the campus just as we did the first time, and get to know the professors and students personally. The bonds formed in class and in between class periods last a lifetime. Thereafter, I would continue getting as much education as I could, and if some of that was online, that would be fine. But the basic seminary education, I would do on campus.

Three. I would try to master all the electronic instrumentality available to help do the work of ministry. I would not go for gimmicks but would want anything that could enhance my work.

Four. I would figure out some way to fence off regular time for my family, and would guard it with my life. If I’ve learned anything from a lifetime in the Lord’s work, it’s that everything that happens to a pastor is urgent, demands his immediate attention and will result in criticism if he doesn’t see to it. But to give in that tyranny is not good for the church and is devastating to a pastor’s home life.

But the pastor must plan ahead of time—days off, vacations, retreats, etc.—and get the rest of the leadership team on board to help him protect that plan. He cannot do this alone. (Try that and you’ll soon be out of a job, pastor. You need to set up a system of people covering the hospitals and other crises while you are tending to your family.)

Five. I would ask God again and again—until He did it!—to give me a tough hide to endure criticism. No pastor in the history of the world has ever pleased all his people. It is to my everlasting shame that I sometimes tried it. But no more. It was bad for them and terrible for me (and mine).

Six. In my pastorates, I would bring in the best guest preachers in the world. Not just the best ones we could afford. I’d go for the top of the line, the ones with something to say, a vision for the Word and the world, people who leave a church changed forever after one weekend. I want to be that kind of visiting preacher and I sure would want to bring that kind to my people.

If we could not afford to bring someone in, I’d look for ways to make it happen anyway. That involves sharing my vision with key leaders, asking the church to set aside funds for this in the future, and if necessary, pay for it myself. One other thing: Those special preachers/speakers/leaders will appreciate being told up front that the honorarium will not be up to his usual standards, but you will be doing all you can to make that better.

Seven. I would make my church a house of prayer, my people a people of prayer, and myself a man of prayer. This is a big, big deal with our Lord (see Luke 18, the entire chapter) and it increasingly is with me. If I were starting over, I’d quit worrying about praying like someone else and start praying prayers of faith. I’d pray far more in private than ever in public.

Eight. I’d help my church to laugh more. OK, I did this already in every church I pastored, but I’d still stay with it. Not everyone appreciates laughter in God’s people but the ones who do not are the very ones who need it.

Nine. I would encourage unemployed preachers, in particular those turned out of their churches by godless, fearless congregations. (I chose those words wisely and mean them. To heartlessly send a pastor away because you don’t like his preaching or feel he’s ill-suited for your church—or a hundred other flimsy reasons—shows the ones perpetrating this nonsense to be unbelieving in God or in judgment.)

Ten. I would get out of the church office more and visit my people on their jobs, in their homes, on the playground, at the school.

I love young ministers and share their excitement over the call of God. They are going to be uniquely situated to make an eternity of difference in so many lives.

If you have a young minister in your life, pray for him/her—constantly, in faith, believing, trusting.

This article originally appeared here.

Why You Should Stop Pretending You’ll Live Forever

David Gibson

August 23, 2017

Letting Death Help Us Live

So much of the message of the book of Ecclesiastes is “the Preacher” (Ecclesiastes 1:1) helping us to let the reality of our death sink into our bones and lodge itself deep in our hearts. But that’s because he’s writing a book about what it means to live. He wants the consequences of our fast-approaching disappearance from the earth to work their way out into all the realities of the way we see the world and the way we view ourselves within that world. The single question that animates him is this: If we won’t live forever, or even long enough to make a lasting difference to the world, how then should we live?

At the outset, Ecclesiastes 1:1–11 sketches a very basic point: Accepting death is the first step in learning to live. Wise people simply accept that they are going to die. This point may seem so obvious as to be simplistic. But, in fact, it’s highly significant when we stop and think about how much energy we devote to not accepting it.

The reality is, we spend our lives trying to escape the constraints of our created condition. Opening our eyes to this is a significant breakthrough. To be human is to be a creature, and to be a creature is to be finite. We are not God. We are not in control, and we will not live forever. We will die. But we avoid this reality by playing “let’s pretend.”

Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend that if we get the promotion, or see our church grow or bring up good children, we’ll feel significant and leave a lasting legacy behind us. Let’s pretend that if we change jobs, or emigrate to the sun, we won’t experience the humdrum tedium and ordinariness of life. Let’s pretend that if we move to a new house, we’ll be happier and will never want to move again. Let’s pretend that if we end one relationship and start a new one, we won’t ever feel trapped.

Let’s pretend that if we were married, or weren’t married, we would be content. Let’s pretend that if we had more money, we would be satisfied. Let’s pretend that if we get through this week’s pile of washing and dirty diapers and shopping lists and school runs and busy evenings, next week will be quieter. Let’s pretend that time is always on our side to do the things we want to do and become the people we want to be. Let’s pretend we can break the cycle of repetition and finally arrive in a world free from weariness.

We long for change in a world of permanent repetition, and we dream of how to interrupt it. We long for lives of permanence in a world of constant change, and we strive to achieve it. We spend our lives aligning our better selves with a different future that we envisage as more rewarding.

And in it all we are simply trying to make permanent what is not meant to be permanent (us), and by constant change we are trying to control what is not meant to be controlled (the world). The seasons and natural cycles of the world are content to come and go, but we sweat and toil to make believe that it will not be so with us.

The Built-In Repetitiveness of Life

Ecclesiastes urges us to put this behind us once and for all and adopt a better way of thinking. Stop playing “let’s pretend” and instead let history and the created world be our teachers. Think about the generations who lived before us. Look at the tides and the seasons and the patterns that God has stitched into the very fabric of creation.

Things repeat themselves over and over and over again, and so it is time to learn that life has a repetitiveness built into it which we are not meant to try to escape. The very rhythms of the world are a pointer to what it means to be part of the created order as a human being. Stop thinking that meaning and happiness and satisfaction reside in novelty. What is new is not really new, and what feels new will soon feel old.

C.S. Lewis captured the essence of this point in his book The Screwtape Letters. A senior devil, Screwtape, is writing to his junior devil nephew, Wormwood, with advice on how to get Christians to turn away from the Enemy (God). Screwtape counsels Wormwood on humanity’s constant desire to experience something new:

The horror of the Same Old Thing is one of the most valuable passions we have produced in the human heart—an endless source of heresies in religion, folly in counsel, infidelity in marriage and inconstancy in friendship.[1]

God has made change and newness pleasurable to human beings. But, says Screwtape, because God does not want his creatures “to make change, any more than eating, an end in itself, He has balanced the love of change in them by a love of permanence.”[2]

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‘Christians Must Vote’: Brian Houston on Gay Marriage

Megan Briggs

August 23, 2017

Gay Marriage — Screengrab YouTube @Anthony Venn-Brown OAM

Coming in September, Australians will be given the chance to tell the government their opinions on whether same sex couples should be allowed to wed. Brian Houston, head of the Hillsong Church movement, is encouraging his Australian congregants to voice their opinions—“whatever your view” on same sex marriage.

“I believe God’s word is clear that marriage is between a man and a woman,” Houston iterated in a statement on the upcoming state-sponsored poll. However, the megachurch pastor acknowledges others may disagree with this view.

“As a Christian pastor, I will always teach and preach according to Scripture and my personal convictions, but I cannot make other people’s choices for them. God created humanity with a free will, and I care about all people including those who believe differently to me.”

The Call for a Civil Debate

Houston is concerned people on both sides of the debate have been less than civil to those who disagree with them. Some, he says, have confused “faith convictions with bigotry,” while others “use Christianity to alienate and even condemn those who are gay.” He urges both sides to respect and seek to understand the opposing side.

The short statement doesn’t delve into the intricacies of the debate and what legalizing same-sex marriage could do to Australian society and government. Instead, Houston places the emphasis on the need for Christians to voice their opinions on the subject in hopes of realizing an outcome consistent with their beliefs. He is concerned the “silent majority” who believes in traditional marriage let “more aggressive voices” control the public dialogue.

“All Australians should be a part of this process, not just a select few,” Houston emphasizes.

The Postal Plebiscite

In September, Australian citizens will receive a plebiscite in the mail, which is a sort of formal poll the government takes to discern where citizens stand on a certain issue. It is not a vote and cannot change the law at this point. Rather, it is more of a litmus test to determine whether the country feels it’s time to change the laws on marriage.

According to Lifehacker.com, Australians will be asked, “Do you support a change in the law to allow same-sex couples to marry?” and will only be allowed to answer with a “Yes” or “No”.

The surveys will be mailed on Tuesday, September 12, 2017. Citizens have until October 27, 2017, to mail their surveys back.

While Houston urges Christians they “should not waste this opportunity,” regardless of how the vote goes, it will be all right. He reminds congregants there are other Hillsong churches that operate in countries where gay marriage is legal and they will continue to do so if Australia goes that way as well.

Shane Claiborne: When Christians Are Compelled to Protest

Jason Daye

August 23, 2017

Shane Claiborne is a prominent speaker, activist, and best-selling author. Shane worked with Mother Teresa in Calcutta, and founded The Simple Way in Philadelphia. He heads up Red Letter Christians, a movement of folks who are committed to living “as if Jesus meant the things he said.” Shane is a champion for grace which has led him to jail advocating for the homeless, and to places like Iraq and Afghanistan to stand against war. And now grace fuels his passion to end the death penalty. Shane’s latest book is called Executing Grace.

Key Questions:

What advice can you give to pastors to help them balance the seriousness of their call with the joy of Christ?

How should Christians go about protesting?

How do people of God find unity in the midst of so many differing opinions on things like the death penalty?

Key Quotes:

“If there’s something I’ve learned from conservatives and liberals, it’s that you can have a lot of great ideas and not have much fun.”

“Jesus had joy and imagination and I think that the movement of Jesus in the world needs that joy.”

“For folks that are dealing with social justice issues, we can get this self-righteousness and we can get overwhelmed by the needs or by ourselves.”

“Jesus didn’t come to give us guilt; Jesus came to give us life.”

“I don’t think guilt is a good motivator. It can be a good indicator that things aren’t quite right. But I think love and joy—these things have to motivate us.”

“Part of what Dr. King said was the real job of protest is to expose injustice so that it becomes so uncomfortable that people cannot remain silent—that they’re moved to act.”

“I don’t know many people who get argued into thinking differently. I know a whole lot of people who get moved by their heart and they get story-ed in.”

“If we believe that murderers are beyond redemption, we can rip out half the Bible…the Bible would be a lot shorter without grace.”

“The Bible belt is the death belt. 85% of executions happen in the Bible belt.”

“We think we’re killing the worst of the worst, but the truth is we’re killing the poorest of the poor, and disproportionately people of color.”

“The death penalty wouldn’t stand a chance in America if it weren’t for the support of Christians.”

“We’ve lost the cornerstone—our centering on Jesus—and when we lose our centering on Jesus, we end up talking a lot about things Jesus didn’t talk about, and we don’t talk about things Jesus had a lot to say about.”

“One of the things we need in the church is a consistent life ethic.”

“I want to be pro-life from the womb to the tomb.”

“I think one of the most dangerous things in the world is self-righteousness.”

“Right now I don’t think the world is looking for Christians who are perfect; they’re looking for Christians that are honest.”

“I think in the United States right now, fear casteth out love, it doesn’t have much room for love.”

Mentioned in the Show:

Executing Grace: How the Death Penalty Killed Jesus and Why It’s Killing Us

Twitter @ShaneClaiborne

Facebook Shane Claiborne

TheSimpleWay.org

RedLetterChristians.org

2 False Assumptions You Might Be Making About Your Kids

Parent Cue

August 22, 2017

Try explaining AGE to a 3-year-old. You may say, “One day you’ll be big like me!” And then he’ll respond, as he stands on a chair, “Look! I’m getting bigger already!”

Teens aren’t clued in either. Sure, they get what it means to be 16, but they don’t usually know what it takes to be a responsible adult.

You, on the other hand, hold the membership card. You’ve lived longer, seen more and know better. That’s why you are the one who leads the way.

For the strong-willed kid or the independent preteen, the adult card is one best played close to the vest.

That’s because your God-given influence works best within the context of a loving and trusting relationship. Knowledge is power, yes, but when it comes to the impact you make on your kid, what matters isn’t what you know, but how well you know your kid.

Do you want to shape the future of the kid in your life? Get to know them.

You probably already hang out with them, have fun, chat, listen and relax—all with the purpose of building a strong, positive relationship.

Still, many adults make the mistake of offering up activities, time and coveted advice based on two false assumptions that have the potential to affect their influence. What are they? Well, we’re glad you asked:

1. YOU MIGHT ACT LIKE KIDS TODAY ARE LIKE YOU TODAY.

We know this kind of sounds absurd when you read it. But give us a chance to explain.

The way you do things, the ideas you come up with, your thoughts or feelings when something happens to you—they all make sense. Or we should say they all make sense to you. You are the way you are and you do the things you do because of the perspective you gained during 22, 35 or 48 years on this earth.

Do you ever find yourself in conflict with your kid because they see things differently than you? Maybe you have trouble understanding your toddler’s nonsensical meltdown or your teenager’s immature decision. Is it possible that you’re looking at life through your own lens and expecting kids—with their underdeveloped lenses—to see what you see?

2. YOU MIGHT THINK THAT KIDS TODAY ARE LIKE YOU WERE BACK WHEN.

After all, you were a kid once. You survived middle school. You fought with friends, made at least one bad grade, had that totally embarrassing lunchroom incident and lived to tell the tale. When it comes to growing up, you know a thing or two. The problem with this kind of thinking is that a lot has changed since you were a second grader.

Think about it this way: You know how bad that first breakup hurts. But can you imagine being 14 and having your heartache announced to the world through a relationship status update? On the positive side of things, think of all the types of incredible information for learning that kids have access to now, that you are only now getting to experience.

So if you think you might have ever made those assumptions about kids trade them in for the following:

Kids today are kids.

This means a 2-year-old is going to act like a 2-year-old and a 16-year-old is going to think like a 16-year-old. And yes, that’s as scary as it sounds. Those brains are still molding and forming. They are going to get stuff wrong, have freak outs and go rogue from time to time.

This is normal. That’s not to say it’s okay. Feel free to have standards, communicate expectations and hold those boogers accountable. But chill out when they start acting like kids because they are kids.

Kids today are kids who live in today’s world.

That means their world looks very different from the one you grew up in. Thankfully, today, you live in the same world as they do! You can study social media, check out the latest hit movies, books and music, and generally work to understand what it might be like to grow up in the golden age of smartphones and unlimited Internet access.

This is all pretty great news, actually, as you stop to consider your potential to establish a strong relationship with your kid and positively influence their future. Because…

You once were a kid.

You live in today’s world.

You have the wisdom of an adult.

And as you get to know who your kids are today, all of your knowledge combined will pack a pretty strong punch.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Get Past the Post-Sunday Blues

Worship Cohort

August 22, 2017

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow springs of life.” –Proverbs 4:23

The hours following Sunday morning are widely considered a low point of the week for worship leaders and pastors of all stripes. The high of leading at full capacity has worn off and we re-awaken beneath that familiar, but no less ominous, cloud of despondency. Exhausted and spent, we proceed to analyze each moment of the day’s worship service in painstaking detail, questioning every decision and inwardly beating ourselves black and blue for every looming mistake.

First, Consider Your Heart

The reality is that the post-Sunday blues are symptomatic of what is ultimate in a leader’s heart. If you wish to truly understand yourself, pay close attention to your thought patterns and desires in that 24 hours after Sunday morning. This will tell you everything you need to know about the condition of your soul and what idols you are prone to worship when the high wears off.

The truth is that we all run to certain things in order to cope with the spiritual and personal doldrums of ministry. Some leaders buckle under the condemnation, resorting to morbid introspection and self-focus; while others pretend it isn’t there, suppressing their despondency to maintain appearances. Both of these coping methods will inevitably blow up in your face in any number of ways. Therefore we need better strategies.

Strategies for Your Joy on Sunday Afternoon

So where can we find deep, abiding joy as we battle ministerial despondency? Can we really outfox our post-Sunday melancholy? I’d like to offer four practical suggestions to combat depression at a heart-level in the wake of Sunday morning. Hopefully, these will help us all to see that, contrary to our common experience, Sunday is actually an opportunity to be strengthened in the joy of the Lord.

Recall your vision

Your vision for ministry is a surprising part of the struggle for joy. On the commute home after a particularly difficult Sunday, I will ask myself in a spirit of prayer, Did we uphold our vision today? I do this because there’s something significant about going back to square one in retrospect. So keep the main thing the main thing on Sunday afternoon. Otherwise you’ll get swallowed up in the minutia and thereby intensify the very disillusionment you should be fighting. Therefore, by God’s grace, allow your vision for ministry to inform your perception of ministry before anything else.

Remember your identity

Who does God say that you are? What promises has he made to you in his Word? Serious, prayerful consideration of these types of questions will help you maintain Gospel-sanity on Sunday afternoon. According to Scripture, you are adopted by God and are therefore a co-heir with his Son (Rom. 8:12-17). You have been been crucified with Christ and are now eternally united with him by faith (Gal. 2:20). All the promises God has made to you are Yes and Amen in him (2 Cor. 1:20). So stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself about who you are in Christ.

Resolve to rest

Let detailed evaluations of Sunday morning wait until Monday. Tomorrow will worry about itself, so rest today (Matt. 6:34). Take a nap. Watch some NFL Sunday Ticket. Do some yard work. Play with your kids. If it helps you rest in God and enjoy the treasures of life, resolve to do it. Your capacity to rest demonstrates your willingness to trust. So let Sunday be what it was and trust God with your work.

Relate to others

Lastly, don’t combat post-Sunday despondency alone. You must be faithful to relate to others in the midst of your struggle for joy. After all, we are hard-wired for relationship (cf. Gen. 2:18). So honestly communicate the reality of your despondency with godly people whom you trust. This might be your spouse, another staff member from your church, or a prayer partner. Whatever you do, don’t manage it on your own. Instead, make someone aware and ask them to commit to praying for you each Sunday afternoon. You’ll be surprised by the encouragement you receive from such relationships.
Dear worship leader, God is pleased with you. He doesn’t love you based on the quality of your performance in ministry. He loves you based on the righteousness of his Son with whom he is well pleased (Matt. 3:16). Thus Sunday afternoon isn’t a source of condemnation you must merely survive. Rather it’s an opportunity for you to thrive in the Gospel. God has given us the resources we need to outfox our disillusionment and fight for joy. After all, he is more committed to your joy than you are. He didn’t spare his own Son to save us (Rom. 8:32), and he won’t start holding out on us now. So let his grace take the lead as you take steps to redeem Sunday afternoon from the tyranny of despondency.

This article originally appeared here.

9 Reasons Why Modern Marriage Is Not Working

Dave Willis

August 22, 2017

As the founders of the Facebook Marriage Page and StrongerMarriages.com, my wife, Ashley, and I have had interactions with thousands of married couples (both online and in person), and I’m ready to make a potentially scandalous claim…MODERN MARRIAGE ISN’T WORKING.

Just to clarify, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with marriage itself. In fact, marriage is more important than ever, as I pointed out in my post on 7 reasons why marriage still matters. The problem is that our modern culture has taken this beautiful gift of marriage, and gone about it in the wrong way. We’re missing the point of marriage, and as a result, families are being built without a solid foundation.

Modern Marriage Challenges

Here are nine key ways our modern world seems to be missing the mark when it comes to marriage. If we could correct our viewpoints and our actions in these nine areas, I’m convinced that the average modern marriage would instantly improve. Nine reasons why modern marriage isn’t working are (in no particular order)…

1. Engaged couples spend huge amounts of time and money to have a great WEDDING, but almost no effort preparing for a great MARRIAGE.

Weddings are big business. The dresses, the TV shows, the catering, the magazines and the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong, I love a great wedding! Weddings are wonderful, but they are NOT the point of marriage. I’ve seen far too many couples have a dream wedding followed quickly by a nightmare marriage. The wedding lasts only one day but the marriage should last a lifetime, so make sure you’re planning for more than a one-time party. Some stellar resources to help you prepare for a strong marriage are available at the SYMBIS assessment for engaged couples. You can also read my post on The Seven Questions to Ask Before You Get Married.

#2 is one I’ve been guilty of more than I’d like to admit...

2. We TEXT each other more than we actually TALK to each other.

I’m a huge fan of technology and I’m as addicted to my iPhone as the next guy, but I also see these little supercomputers as dangerous distractions if we don’t use them with intentional boundaries. There’s no substitute for face-to-face human interaction. Especially in marriage, we need lots of time together with no technology at all. Couples have forgotten how to interact if there’s not a screen glowing nearby. We need to get back to the basics of good conversations and intimate connection. Phones are nice but tech-free conversation is much better.

#3 reveals what should be the most important source of our marriage advice...

3. Our modern marriage advice comes from popular FADS instead of timeless TRUTHS.

I’m a Christian and I believe that the Bible holds the answers for how to have a meaningful life and an awesome marriage too. You might be surprised and encouraged by what the Bible actually says about marriage. You can download our FREE 31-Day Marriage Devotional by clicking here and your whole perspective of the Bible (and marriage) might change. When our marriage advice doesn’t come from timeless sources, and instead we’re basing everything off of advice from Hollywood, pop culture, magazines and water cooler conversations, our marriages won’t have the solid foundation they need to survive the storms of life.

#4 reveals one of the biggest misunderstanding about the nature of marriage in our modern world…

4. We view marriage as a CONTRACT but not as a COVENANT.

When you get married, the state views your union as nothing more than a contract.

The FAQs: What Christians Should Know About the Alt-Right

Joe Carter

August 22, 2017

Earlier today, the Southern Baptist Convention adopted a resolution condemning the movement known as the “alt-right.”

The language of the resolution reads, in part,

“WHEREAS, Racism and white supremacy are, sadly, not extinct but present all over the world in various white supremacist movements, sometimes known as ‘white nationalism’ or ‘alt-right’; now, therefore, be it RESOLVED, That the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention, meeting in Phoenix, Arizona, June 13–14, 2017, decry every form of racism, including alt-right white supremacy, as antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ; and be it further RESOLVED, That we denounce and repudiate white supremacy and every form of racial and ethnic hatred as of the devil; and be it further RESOLVED, That we acknowledge that we still must make progress in rooting out any remaining forms of intentional or unintentional racism in our midst; and be it further RESOLVED, That we earnestly pray, both for those who advocate racist ideologies and those who are thereby deceived, that they may see their error through the light of the Gospel, repent of these hatreds, and come to know the peace and love of Christ through redeemed fellowship in the Kingdom of God, which is established from every nation, tribe, people, and language.”

The resolution initially caused confusion because many Baptists—like most other Americans—are not familiar with the movement. A majority of U.S. adults (54 percent) say they have heard “nothing at all” about the “alt-right” movement, and another 28 percent have heard only “a little” about it, according to a Pew Research Center survey taken last year.

“There were a lot of people [at the SBC annual meeting] who just weren’t familiar with what the alt-right is,” said Russell Moore, a TGC Council member and president of the SBC’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. “And then there were others who assumed the alt-right was just a fringy group of people that they didn’t want to dignify by even mentioning them.”

“What I point out is just how dangerous and present the alt-right is…. When people recognize what it is that the alt-right believes,” Moore added, “I haven’t talked to anyone who doesn’t immediately reject that.”

Here is what every Christian should know about the alt-right:

What is the alt-right?

The alt-right—short for “alternative right”—is an umbrella term for a host of disparate nationalist and populist groups associated with the white identity cause/movement. The term brings together white supremacists (e.g., neo-Nazis), religious racialists (e.g., Kinists), neo-pagans (e.g., Heathenry), Internet trolls (e.g., 4chan’s /pol/), and others enamored with white identity and racialism.

Where did the term “alt-right” come from?

In December 2008, Paul Gottfried wrote an article for Taki’s Magazine titled “The Decline and Rise of the Alternative Right.” (The article itself does not use the phrase “alternative right,” and the editor of the magazine at that time, Richard Spencer, claims to have added the title.)

At the time, the “alternative right” was loosely associated with “paleoconservatives” (another term created by Gottfried). Paleocons were self-identified conservatives who rejected the neo-conservatism of the George W. Bush-era. While the group tended to be anti-globalist and anti-war (especially opposed to the Iraq War) it was not necessarily associated with white identity politics. But in his article Gottfried identified “postpaleos” as a “growing communion that now includes Takimag, VDARE.com and other websites that are willing to engage sensitive, timely subjects.”

The “sensitive, timely subjects” Gottfried refers to are topics that had previously been the main concern of white identity groups, issues such as non-white immigration (“being physically displaced by the entire Third World”) and “human cognitive capacities” (i.e., the belief that certain racial groups are, in general, intellectually inferior to others).

In 2010, Richard Spencer launched a website, AlternativeRight.com, to promote these views. Since then, the term has been associated with the white identity movement.

Who is Richard Spencer?

Richard Spencer is a white nationalist who has become the public face of the alt-right.

Spencer, who comes from a wealthy family (his mother is a cotton heiress, and his father is an ophthalmologist), went to a Catholic parochial school before graduating from the University of Virginia (BA) and University of Chicago (MA). He pursued doctoral studies at Duke before, as he says, “dropping out to pursue a life of thought-crime.”

In the mid-2000s, Spencer worked for the paleoconservative publication The American Conservative. Spencer was fired for his extreme views and went to work for the online publication Taki’s Magazine. With funding from Taki Theodoracopulos and other wealthy donors, Spencer was able to create a career centered on his white identity politics.

Prior to 2016, few people—even white nationalists—knew who he was. But Spencer is a gifted political opportunist. During the election season of 2016, various populists, nationalists, white supremacists and anti-PC (political correctness) groups started coalescing around the candidacy of Donald Trump. Because the alt-right existed mostly online and was populated by people too cowardly to use their own names, Spencer was able to seize the opportunity to become the public face of the alt-right.

Spencer gained a boost in recognition when Breitbart News began to openly champion the alt-right cause. In March 2016, Breitbart wrote a fawning article of the alt-right titled “An Establishment Conservative’s Guide to the Alt-Right.” In the article Spencer is listed as an alt-right “intellectual.” A few months later, Steve Bannon, who ran Breitbart before becoming CEO of the Trump campaign, bragged that Breitbart News was the “the platform for the alt-right.”

Continue

4 Indications a Longing for Approval Is Hampering Your Leadership

Eric Geiger

August 22, 2017

Leaders who need to be liked hurt the teams they lead. In extensive research, Elena Botelho discovered that leaders who want to be perceived as nice to the detriment of being decisive hurt the organizations they lead.

Jony Ive is the senior vice president of design at Apple and is known as the great design mind behind the products at Apple. In a rare interview with Vanity Fair, Jony shared some lessons he learned from working with Steve Jobs. He recounted a conversation where Steve rebuked him for leading to be approved, for wanting approval from his team more than anything else. Steve challenged him:

You’re just really vain… You just want people to like you. And I am surprised at you because I thought you really held the work up as the most important, not how you believed that you were perceived by other people.

Jony said he was crushed by the feedback because he knew it was true.

The longing for approval can creep into a leader’s heart and cripple the leader’s effectiveness. But how can we recognize a longing for approval in our own leadership? Here are four indications:

1. Your convictions seem to change based on who is in the room.

I say “seem to change” because if they change, then your convictions are not as strong as they should be. Adjusting how you communicate your convictions is very different from adjusting your convictions.

2. One negative conversation can derail your entire day.

Leaders will be disliked, will make decisions that disappoint or frustrate, and will face the inevitable criticism. While no one likes criticism, a leader who allows one negative conversation to derail his or her day from the essential tasks of leading is overly consumed with being approved.

3. You hope conflict will just go away.

Conflict does not just go away. Conflict being out of sight does not mean conflict is resolved. Leaders who ignore conflict often do so because they dread the difficult conversations and decisions that precede conflict resolution.

4. You spread resources thinly.

Resources being spread too thinly always limits effectiveness. If you are spreading resources of time and money thinly across a myriad of priorities, the likely reason is that you are afraid to hurt feelings and are funding things in attempts to try to make people happy.

Good news for the Christian: When we recognize that a longing for approval is controlling us, we can repent and remember that we are already approved in Christ. We can do so from a posture of already being approved because of His great love and sacrifice for us.

This article originally appeared here.

Ronnie Floyd Takes the Reins of National Day of Prayer

Megan Briggs

August 22, 2017

Dr. Ronnie Floyd of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) has assumed the role of President of the National Day of Prayer. Floyd replaces Anne Graham Lotz.

The Board of Directors say they “couldn’t have found a man more passionate or dedicated to prayer and spiritual awakening than Ronnie Floyd.”

His Resume

Floyd is the Senior Pastor at Cross Church in Arkansas. While Floyd has held numerous high level positions within the SBC and its affiliated organizations, perhaps his most widely recognized role was the president of the SBC, a title which he held from 2014-2016. The SBC is the largest Protestant denomination in the United States.

Floyd has written several books, in addition to serving as General Editor of LifeWay’s Bible Studies for Life Curriculum. This Bible study is used by small groups at approximately 30,000 SBC churches.

Since 2013, Floyd has led, along with other leaders of the SBC, a Call to Prayer Initiative.

His Stance on Trump

In June 2016, Floyd was one of 500 influential evangelical leaders invited to meet with then-candidate Donald Trump. In an article published on Fox News, Floyd expressed his reservations to endorse Trump: “Some of Mr. Trump’s comments about women, minorities and immigrants are concerning.” He was also aware of his position as the president of the SBC at the time and shied away from officially endorsing a candidate. However, Floyd is now on President Trump’s evangelical advisory board.

Some were not surprised by Floyd’s eventual alignment with Trump given his history in the Conservative Resurgence of the SBC in the 1980s. This movement started in the 1960s when some leaders of the SBC feared the seminaries and SBC-affiliated agencies such as its National Mission Board were being taken over by liberals. One of the main thrusts of the Conservative Resurgence was to affirm the inerrancy of Scripture.

His Passion for Prayer

Prayer is a topic Floyd writes about and speaks on frequently. The National Day of Prayer was created in 1952; this May, an estimated 2 million Americans participated.

In a letter announcing his acceptance of the position, Floyd wrote to his congregation, “In this desperate and urgent hour when turmoil and division is evident in America and security threats are being made against America, it is imperative that we do all we can right now to mobilize unified public prayer for America.”

He also iterated his belief that America’s greatest need is “to experience the next Great Spiritual Awakening.”

Strategies for Singing at Church

1. Fellow members are evidence of grace

2. Christianity and the corporate reality

Letting Death Help Us Live

Let’s Pretend

The Built-In Repetitiveness of Life

The Call for a Civil Debate

The Postal Plebiscite

Key Questions:

Key Quotes:

Mentioned in the Show:

1. YOU MIGHT ACT LIKE KIDS TODAY ARE LIKE YOU TODAY.

2. YOU MIGHT THINK THAT KIDS TODAY ARE LIKE YOU WERE BACK WHEN.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow springs of life.” –Proverbs 4:23

First, Consider Your Heart

Strategies for Your Joy on Sunday Afternoon

Recall your vision

Remember your identity

Resolve to rest

Relate to others

Modern Marriage Challenges

1. Engaged couples spend huge amounts of time and money to have a great WEDDING, but almost no effort preparing for a great MARRIAGE.

2. We TEXT each other more than we actually TALK to each other.

3. Our modern marriage advice comes from popular FADS instead of timeless TRUTHS.

4. We view marriage as a CONTRACT but not as a COVENANT.

What is the alt-right?

Where did the term “alt-right” come from?

Who is Richard Spencer?

1. Your convictions seem to change based on who is in the room.

2. One negative conversation can derail your entire day.

3. You hope conflict will just go away.

4. You spread resources thinly.

His Resume

His Stance on Trump

His Passion for Prayer

New Articles

New Podcasts