Words can kill.

Words can kill churches because they often have deadly actions behind them. As we begin this new year, please allow me to share six statements that I have heard from church members whose churches have died.

Please hear that last statement again: These are statements from church members whose churches have already closed their doors. I am convinced these statements were major contributors to the churches’ demise.

1. “We pay our pastor to do evangelism.” The common meaning behind this statement is that the members have no intentions of sharing their faith. A church with non-evangelistic members is a dying church.
2. “Without our money, this church would be in trouble.” Ouch! The key word here is “our.” Members with this attitude do not give with an open hand; they perceive the money they give to the church is their money, not God’s money. This tight-fisted non-stewardship, if prevalent in the church, is a sure sign of sickness or death.
3. “This church is not meeting my needs.” For certain, members’ needs should be met. But have you noticed that, oftentimes, the most needy members are the first to complain and the first to leave? We should certainly care for the needs of the flock, but the attitude of the members should be that of serving instead of being served.
4. “We pay the salary of the pastor and staff, so they should listen to us.” This deadly statement has two major inflictors of pain. First, the money is treated with a tight fist, as I noted above. Second, the money is used to control leaders. I served in a church where a member made that statement to me frequently. Years after I left, I learned he never gave a dollar to the church.
5. “We will let the next generation deal with change.” When older generations make this statement, they are resolutely refusing to make necessary and immediate changes. Sadly, the next generations won’t stick around in such a church to make the changes.
6. “I was here years before the pastor came; I’ll be here years after he’s gone.” This statement is one of power and control rather than service and giving. It’s about out-lasting each pastor to keep the church just the way the member wants it. It’s a statement that was commonly heard in churches that have closed their doors.

I remain an obnoxious optimist about our local congregations. But, sadly, many will die in this year and the next. Most of them will have had members who made these six deadly statements,

I pray your church is not among them.

Wise leaders listen to wise people. Because the people we listen to impact our decisions, our attitudes and our perceptions, it is critical that we listen to the right people. A leader who listens to the wrong people is just as foolish as a leader who doesn’t listen at all. Here are four types of people leaders must not listen to:

1. Those without character

The Scripture teaches us, “How happy is the man who does not follow the advice of the wicked” (Psalm 1:1). One sure way to rob your life and leadership of joy is to allow those without character to influence your decision-making.

2. Those without courage

When David committed adultery with a married woman, Bathsheba, he asked men in his palace to go and get her. They pointed out that she “is the wife of Uriah” but lacked the courage to refuse the request that would destroy a season of David’s life. If leaders listen to people without courage, they are only listening to people who tell them what they want to hear. Never receiving correction may be good for the leader’s ego, but it is horrible for the leader.

3. Those without compassion

The 12 tribes of Israel were restless after Solomon’s death, and an influential leader (Jeroboam) from the northern tribes approached Rehoboam (Solomon’s son) on behalf of the people. The people wanted Rehoboam to lighten the load of forced labor. The elders, those with wisdom, encouraged Rehoboam to serve the people and to speak with kindness, but young men who served Rehoboam, men who did not care for the people, encouraged him to declare that the load would be heavier and he would be harsher. He listened to their counsel, the people rebelled and the nation split. Leaders exist for people, so leaders who listen to those without compassion will eventually forfeit their leadership.

4. Those without commitment

Leaders will never lack for people willing to offer their advice and opinions. But many of these people are not committed to the ministry, the organization or the team. Some lob directives or critiques without a deep commitment to the mission of the team. Wise leaders only listen to those who are committed to the team and her mission.

Following on from yesterday’s post which highlighted the email deluge that’s drowning so many of us, here are the steps I take to hold back the flood. I’d love to hear what you do in the comments below.

1. I check email three times a day.

I do a quick check as soon as I get to my desk at 7:15 a.m. This is mainly to make sure there aren’t any urgent family messages from the U.K. overnight. I very rarely reply to any emails on this check, unless there is an emergency.

My second check is 12 noon. Again, I very rarely reply to anything on this check unless it’s something urgent from a colleague or in my congregation.

My third check is about 3 p.m. when I process all my email in one batch until (ideally) I have nothing in my Inbox.

2. I set a time limit of about 45 minutes to process email.

This deadline forces me to minimize the time on each email and squeeze in as many as I can within the time. I keep them as brief and to the point as possible. If there’s an email that’s going to take more time than usual, I will usually put it in a folder marked Friday. If there are emails I haven’t got to in that time, I usually just leave them in my Inbox until the next day and deal with them first.

3. Each Friday afternoon, I devote an extra hour to longer emails.

This is when I process my “Friday Folder.” These are emails that involve me doing some research or offering some counseling/pastoral advice. I usually process these in the order I’ve received them. Sometimes I get through three or four, sometimes less. If it looks like I won’t be getting back to somebody for a while, I’ll let them know that. I also use this hour to process any Facebook messages.

4. I check email twice at weekends.

I take a quick look once on Saturday and once on Sunday and very rarely reply to any.

5. I do not check email on vacation.

When I go on vacation, I set up an auto-reply specifying the dates I am out of the office and will not be responding to email. On the auto-reply I give the email address of my assistant, Sarah, and ask them to contact her if there is anything that cannot wait. She then decides whether to contact me by text or to just ask the person to wait.

6. I have standard replies for my assistant.

I have four to five standard replies for my assistant to send to common questions and inquiries. These include requests for counseling/advice, preaching/speaking, book reviews, book endorsements. I used to use this more and need to get back to it again (my fault, Sarah!).

7. I delegate some replies.

Sometimes I ask my assistant or a student to answer an email for me. I may give some brief guidance and leave the exact wording to them.

8. I delay some replies.

If someone is emailing me too much, I will often delay answering for a few days or a week or so. I don’t do this very often, but I have found that delaying replies lowers expectations and eventually reduces unnecessary emails.

9. I don’t feel obliged to answer every email.

Email has made it possible for just about anyone to access us at any time of the day (or night) with a request or a question that may take 15-30 minutes to answer. There have been times in my life when I could have filled most of my working day with answering such emails from people I’ve never known or met. I no longer feel obliged to do that. I used to feel guilty if I didn’t respond. No longer. My primary responsibilities are to the Seminary and congregation that have called me (and pay me) and I should feel guilty if I am not serving them in the way I have promised. So, often, I will ask my assistant to explain that I cannot answer due to my moral obligation to serve my employers.

10. I keep junk out of my Inbox.

This is a constant battle, but I regularly purge my Inbox to ensure that it’s not being clogged up with newsletters, offers, promotions, spam, etc. It’s too distracting when I’m trying to process real email.

11. I turn of all notifications.

I hate the idea of being constantly interrupted by beeps and banners on my phone or computer. I just think that’s insanity if we’re trying to do any worthwhile work and train our brains to think well and think deeply.

Hope some of these tips help you. I realize some of them may not be applicable in your situation. And, as I said, I hope you can give me some tips too.

Empowering other people on the team to be leaders—it’s called delegation—is critical to a successful church or organization. Every leader talks about delegation, but few truly empower others to be leaders. It’s a frustration I hear frequently from staff members of churches.

Frankly, as one with a strength (StrengthFinders) of command, I can easily take over if no one else takes the lead. It takes discipline as a leader, but I want to create an environment of healthy empowerment. I want to lead a church that produces leaders—disciples who actually make disciples.

But, how do you know whether healthy empowerment is occurring?

I don’t know if we can follow a script, but perhaps there are some principles that need to be in place to know we are creating cultures conducive to empowerment.

Here are seven signs I look for in healthy empowerment:

(This is written from the perspective of those being empowered—“you” being the one empowering.)

Confidence is conveyed

They know you believe they can do the job. They aren’t questioning your belief in or support of them. People are less likely to take risks if they feel you will always second-guess them.

Expectations are clearly communicated

They know what a win looks like in your eyes and what is required of them to complete the task. You’ve not left them guessing. You stay available to them through the process if questions arise.

Authority has been granted

They have the power to script the path to accomplishment. They don’t need to “check-in” for approval on every decision they make.

Permission to fail is assured

They know if it doesn’t work they will be encouraged to try again. You won’t hold it against them and you can learn together to improve the next time.

Resources are adequate

They have the training, tools and people to accomplish the task—including your support.

Their back is protected

They know their decisions will be backed by senior leadership—by you. If the complainers rise—which they will—you will be there to defend their efforts.

Recognition is shared

They know they won’t do all the work just for you—or someone else—to get the credit. They will be adequately appreciated for their work.

Consider your process of delegation. Consider my list.

How are you doing?