Pastor, Your Wife Might Be “Smokin’ Hot,” But…

Should pastors refer to their spouses as smokin hot wives? Pastors should love their wives but are public declarations of their beauty over the top?

Editor’s Note: How we talk about our wives, and women in general, from our leadership platform is important. In this short post, Jeff Fisher offers a balanced critique on a trend that, while good-natured, could be doing some damage as well. We encourage you to share this story on Facebook to create a conversation in your personal ministry networks. 

It seems like the phrase “My smokin’ hot wife” is coming into mainstream Christianity now. I have heard a number of preachers use the phrase from the pulpit, especially when they are sharing messages on sex.

And have you seen this video of a pastor at a NASCAR race praying, thanking God for the racetrack, the racing teams, the cars, the drivers, the cans of Sunoco fuel and his smokin’ hot wife?

When pastors talk about their wives as “smokin’ hot” or call attention to their physical beauty in a sermon, I think they are:

  • Trying to show their congregations that they love their wives and are attracted to them.
  • Teaching that it’s OK to admire beauty and to be sexually attracted to one another.
  • Showing genuine thankfulness to God.
  • Saying to congregants, indirectly, “Hands off my wife, she’s mine.”
  • Saying to congregants, indirectly, “I’m taken, I don’t need an adulterous relationship, I have a wonderful wife.”

Using “smoking hot” to describe your wife is fantastic, but I believe it needs to retreat to something you privately say to your wife. I don’t think we should be using this phrase publicly.

Why pastors shouldn’t say it publicly:

1. Strong sexual connotations with the phrase in our culture.

The phrase is already being used in our culture to describe Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends, Miss America, America’s Top Model and the Hooter’s waitresses you saw during lunch. It’s not a phrase we need to “claim for Jesus” from our pulpits.

2. Focuses on the wrong thing.

The message a pastor is sending is “look at the package.” God teaches us to value women, honor them, love them.

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jefffisher@churchleaders.com'
Jeff Fisher is a minister, blogger and podcaster from Raleigh, NC. He is a graduate of Southwestern Seminary in Ft. Worth and pastored churches in Texas and New York. Deep recovery began for Jeff when his pornography addiction caused him to lose his ministry position. For the first time, he began discovering the sexual health that God intended for him and for his marriage.

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