Recently, I ran across a list of sticky issues pastors’ wives face, leaving them feeling isolated. There are some very sensitive issues here, and they certainly affect many of us who have been faced with the exact situation in ministry.
I’d like to offer some suggestions of how to face these issues when they come across your path.
1. Experiencing superficial relationships in the church.
Find relationships outside of the church. It’s healthy to have your own friends that see you for who you are—not just the pastor’s wife.
Set up a play group with other young moms, join a book club, volunteer at your children’s school, etc.
2. Having a busy pastor/husband.
Your husband will be busy! Don’t be ashamed to ask him to set aside time just for you and you alone.
Make it a priority for you both, and don’t budge on it unless there’s an emergency. It’s difficult to put the ministry work aside, but both your marriage and relationship will benefit.
3. Encountering mean church members.
People are mean, and they expect you and your family to be perfect, despite the fact that they certainly are not! They will hold you and your family to a different standard. They will leave you out of their social circles, etc.
Sometimes just being kind to these people takes the steam out of their hatefulness. Realize what expectations are realistic and which ones are not. Be kind and realize that sometime people are just going to be mean.
4. Being a conduit for complaints about her husband.
When a person comes to you with complaints regarding your husband, redirect them and ask them to talk with one of the elders.