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12 Sticky Issues Facing Pastors’ Wives

10. Complaints about their children.

This is such a hard thing, because people will expect your children to be perfect. Having four children while being a pastor’s wife was hard on me, but probably even more difficult on the kids.

In ministry, you live in a “glass house.” At the Malphurs Group we have talked about this many times, trying to help them understand that they would be judged differently.

There are no easy answers other than loving them strongly and caring deeply for them—being sensitive to the pressures they are also experiencing being in the ministry.

11. Her husband does not give her priority.

In whatever profession a man is in, he will be devoted to that profession because he has a God-given drive to work and provide for his family. Sometimes this comes at the expense of the ones he truly loves.

Helping a leader understand that his responsibilities at home are equally important can be difficult, and often this comes only after there is a “crisis.” Talk openly with him about your needs and don’t stop talking about it until he understands. Encourage him to seek accountability from his friends or a leadership coach to restore balance in how he divides his responsibilities.

You are an integral and important part of his ministry as well.

12. Experiencing financial struggles.

Financial issues are tough because there is no easy way to talk about them. Often, churches do not provide well enough for their pastors, which may put them in a position where the wife has to work or the pastor has to take on a second job.

This especially rings true in a small church where giving may not be adequate. Keep the elders or board members aware of your finances so they have the full picture of your situation.

These issues have affected many women whose husbands are in ministry. Pray about them. Give them to God. And try to implement some of these suggestions. It will make a difference in your life, marriage and ministry.