Sometimes feeling “OK” is the best you’ve felt in a very long time. Your brokenness entraps you because of unchangeable moments that took place in your past. You’ve yet to let go and find peace amidst the storm of remembrance. You’re hurting. You’re frustrated. You’re in repetitious, unwavering pain. You ask yourself, “Does God even care?”
God does care. He feels our pain, yet sometimes the way he responds to us might not be exactly the way we anticipate. Over the course of my life, I’ll be honest in saying I’ve found myself furious at God on multiple occasions. I’ve yelled at God, cursed at God and even threatened God for not providing what I felt was the best response for my current situation in life.
I’m sure he looked down at me, chuckled a bit and knew that I didn’t really mean what I was saying. I was just upset, and God was patient enough to let me vent to him. He allowed me to use him as a scratching post. He could handle it. That’s the beauty of God; He’s big enough to handle anything I throw at him, but wise enough to not give me everything I ask for.
When putting our lives in the hands of God, we must be ready to not understand everything that God does, why he does it and how long he will do it for. Some things only have one answer: to trust God even if it doesn’t make sense. It may seem like a shallow and cliché response, but it’s actually quite the opposite. Trusting God among our brokenness is a beautifully painful but spiritually deepening experience. Every time we put our trust in God, another scoop of our fleshly dirt is removed from our spiritual sandbox.
Trust God in your brokenness, but realize it’s OK to be mad at him, frustrated and even down-right confused. God doesn’t expect us to understand everything he does, but he does expect us to trust him in the process.
Don’t be afraid to question what’s happening. Don’t be afraid to wave your fist a little. God can handle it. Let it all out, and get honest with God about what you’re really feeling.