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Gregory Coles: It’s Possible to Be Same-Sex Attracted and Fully Surrendered to Jesus

“One thing that has been a challenge for folks is there are people who would hear my story and who would assume that when I talk about being gay or when I talk about experiencing ongoing attraction to the same sex who would assume that that is always already a sinful thing.”

“People have some thoughtful reasons for having concerns about different forms of terminology [like ‘gay’ or ‘same-sex attracted’], but the impact of those arguments on me has largely been again that it diverts my focus away from what I want my focus to be, which is figuring out what it looks like the steward my experience of sexuality in celibacy in a way that honors Jesus.”

“The posture of humility…is a safe posture to be in even if you don’t always say everything right along the way.” 

“‘Intersex’ refers neither to sexual orientation nor to gender identity, but to the biological system that would typically mark somebody as male or female—there are some conditions in which somebody doesn’t have all of the typical markers of maleness or femaleness.” 

“You could have somebody who identifies as ‘non-binary,’ meaning they don’t identify themselves as male or female….Those folks are going to probably not prefer to be called by he/him pronouns or by she/her pronouns. These days, they most often will prefer ‘they/them’ pronouns.”

“It is possible to believe that [someone’s biological sex and gender identity corresponding] is God’s ideal and to still recognize the fact 1) not everybody is following Jesus to begin with and 2) not everybody who is following Jesus necessarily shares all of our convictions about what it means to follow Jesus.”

“I can still speak honestly about a person and say, ‘Yeah, I recognize that this is their understanding of their gender identity, and I choose to honor that understanding in the way that I speak to them and about them, even if the way that I would prefer them to express their identity is different from the way they are expressing their identity.”

“The approach that facilitates us communicating the gospel effectively to people is to figure out how the language that they’re using operates.”

“The best thing you could possibly do when you’re interacting with somebody in your congregation in your family, in your community who is LGBTQ…is direct them to the person of Jesus and entrust the specifics of their journey to Jesus.” 

Mentioned in the Show by Dr. Gregory Coles

1 Corinthians 7
1 Corinthians 9:19-21
1 Corinthians 13
Matthew 16:24-28

No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging in a World of Alienation by Dr. Gregory Coles
Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity by Dr. Gregory Coles
Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Dr. Wesley Hill

Check out Greg’s website
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Jason serves as the Chief Strategy Officer at PastorServe, a ministry committed to strengthening the Church by serving pastors through personal coaching and church consulting. He also hosts FrontStage BackStage, a podcast and YouTube show, that helps pastors embrace healthy, well-balanced leadership as they develop a sustainable rhythm for life and ministry. Prior to joining the PastorServe team, Jason served as Vice President of Ministry Mobilization at Outreach, Inc., and as the Executive Director of the National Back to Church Sunday movement. Additionally, Jason served for nearly two decades in pastoral leadership, primarily as a lead pastor, in several contexts, including church plant re-launch, multisite church, multiethnic urban church, and an established suburban church. His experience as a lead pastor has provided numerous opportunities to coach and mentor pastors across the country. Jason and his beautiful wife, Monica, are the proud parents of six children and live on Anastasia Island, Florida. @jasondaye