“Order of Service misprinted the reading. Was supposed to be 1 John 4:16-19, but was printed as John 4:16-19… ‘Jesus said, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had 5 husbands & the man you now have is not your husband.”‘”
“Married a young couple after church service, most of the church stayed. At the presentation I was supposed to say, ‘Who gives so and so, here present, to be married..’ I said, ‘Who gives so and so, here pregnant?’ Everybody laughed, she was not with child. I still have nightmares.”
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“Did a wedding for some dear friends. During a final prayer, I *meant* to say ‘Grant them success.’ What came out was ‘Grant them sex…I mean, success…well, that too, I guess…uh…in Jesus’ name, Amen.’ Good times.”
“Oh gosh. I was a youth pastor. My pastor had a wedding scheduled but was in the process of adopting a child from overseas. The call came in that he needed to travel to Ethiopia the night before the wedding. So he asked me to do it. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said, ‘I have the whole thing typed out. Just print it, put it in your bible, read it verbatim.’ So that’s what I did. Midway through the ceremony I get to a part where I’m supposed to invite the couple and their respective children (from previous relationships) to participate in a sand ceremony, signifying the coming together of their two families. As I’m rattling off the kids names I hear the mother of the groom speak up, ‘uh, nope.’ That’s when I realized there were no children, and the pastor had forgotten to edit out the kids names from the last time he’d used this same document. I was mortified. Everyone seemed to take it in stride but I hid behind my wife the whole reception.”
“Officiating for the first time, the couple asked me to read their homemade vows on their behalf. I stupidly agreed. Among other things, I had to look the groom straight in the face and say, ‘I never thought I could love another man ever again.’”
“I asked the bride, ‘Are those real?’ I was worried about a fire because her train was dangerously close to a candle on stage. Shocked, she said, ‘What?’ I replied, ‘The candles. Are those real?’ Relieved and with a big smile, she said, ‘No, the candles are fake.’”
“Referring to the new bride, during the ceremony, by the groom’s first wife’s name. Also, the groom was one of my wife’s family members.”
“Oh man my iPad completely froze right in the middle of the service. I had to just wing the homily and the vows! Bride and groom got two different set of vows to say!! I still feel the embarrassment as I wrote this!! Will use hard copy from now on!”
“I was reading the Love Chapter and accidentally said, ‘Love always expects the breast.’ Just kept going. The largely non-church attending crowd was suddenly interested in Bible reading. Dared not make eye contact with my wife, we would have both lost it.’
“I did a wedding for the Lazorchaks. I had struggled with pronouncing their name correctly during rehearsal. I practiced and practiced and when I pronounced them Mr. and Mrs…I fumbled around and said…Lazor-cock. Huge laughter from the large crowd.”
